Safety responsibility to guests

Amy578
Level 2
Amherst, MA

Safety responsibility to guests

     I recently had a guest who went out for the evening and did not return for the night or contact me.  I happened to awaken at 3am and saw her car was not here, so I looked to see if she'd messaged me. Nothing. So I messaged her to say 'Are you okay?'   Didn't get a response.  Texted again at 6am. Got a response an hour later that she was fine. 

     I have no issue with an adult who chooses not to return at night. But, as a fellow human, I do become concerned for her/his safety.  This situation kept me awake for several hours. I knew that, most likely, she was fine. But what if she had not been? At what point should I take action, thinking, "Something bad could have happened. I should contact the police."?  I thought - well, I'll wait to see if she comes and picks up her stuff. But if something afoul had occurred, I feared waiting would make it harder to locate her. I was really torn.

     For the future, I have thought of adding something to my House Rules, like: 'As a courtesy, please message me if you won't be coming back until very late or the next day.'

     I did give the guest a lower rating in the Communication section because of this, but did not spell it out in the written review, as I felt this was too personal. In the private feedback, I did suggest to her that, in the future, she send a courtesy message to her host. I said I felt that the human connection we make as Airbnb-ers makes us less anonymous than in a hotel, and requires a little more communication.

    What do others think about this? Have you had this situation? How have you handled it?

9 Replies 9
Emiel1
Level 10
Leeuwarden, The Netherlands
Carol-And-George0
Level 3
North Port, FL

I would have felt the same way you did. I would have called her just like you did Msybe we all should add to our house rules that a guest not coming back for the night must inform the host I’m putting it in my house rules and it will be in large letters  Carol in Florida 

@Carol-And-George0 I wouldn't even check if they are there. It is theit vacation and as adults they can do whatever they want. I am concerned with their safety and I would do anything I can to help them if they need anything but I am not their mother to check up on them. I wouldn't like a host to check up on me while on vacation, if I need anything I know gow to contact them. But to each their own I guess 🙂 

Robin4
Level 10
Mount Barker, Australia

Although Amy started this thread almost a year ago it is Ana's thoughts I am responding to!

 

@Ana1136 I can understand exactly how @Amy578  feels, and in her situation I would feel the same way.

Sure we are not our guests 'keepers' but circumstance plays a big part here and Amy's comment ..... "I felt that the human connection we make as Airbnb-ers makes us less anonymous than in a hotel, and requires a little more communication"....is a good valid comment!

1/....Had this been a couple travelling and had gone out together, I would not have worried.

2/....Had this been an adult male I would not have worried!

 

The fact that this was a single female in a strange environment gave Amy the perfect right to be concerned....particularly as the guest made no attempt to contact Amy throughout the night.

Good on Amy, she handled this as a caring professional host and I think @Carol-And-George0 suggestion of putting a comment regarding late returns in the house rules is a good one. You can just state you need to know for security reasons.

 

Don't be too hard on  Amy or Carol and George, Ana. I think Amy did the right thing!

 

Cheers.....Rob

Ana1136
Level 10
Ohrid, Macedonia (FYROM)

@Robin4 maybe, I don't know their environment. Where I live you could spent the night on the street with all your belongings and nothing would be missing and no one would touch you. I still believe that we are responsible for keeping them safe at home but how can you protect a grown up with just a phone call? They could be anywhere and doing anything, maybe they didn't plan on staying out but it just happened, I wouldn't even think that my host is loosing sleep over it and I surely wouldn't think of letting them know where I am. But that is just me, I know that different people think differently and I respect their opinion, I just stated that I would feel intruded if my host wants to know where I go and what I do and when I will be back, because my plans might change. A whole different thing is if a host has a specific time set up for coming into the house, I would definitely respect that, but otherwise I wouldn't like to have to search for wi-fi or calling them in the middle of the night just to let them know I am coming late.

Robin4
Level 10
Mount Barker, Australia

@Ana1136 

Hey Ana, I wasn't being critical of you! I understand that in Ohrid you have a safe and lovely environment. Unfortunately much of the rest of the world does not share what you have and there are many parts of the world where it is not safe for anyone to walk outside after sundown!!. I know of places on the African continent where it is not even safe to travel in a vehicle after sundown!! Personal safety is much more an issue that it is where you and I live.

 

But, with respect Ana,  you keep on making mention of 'them'...and that is not what I am refering to! Amy's guest was a solitary female who went out without a partner or any other company....and in Amherst Massachusetts that may not have been as safe as your part of the world. I don't mean anything by that, I have been to Boston and parts of Massachusetts and it is a lovely part of the world.

But what we are talking about here is a lone female in a strange place....can you understand that. I think caution was wise.

 

Cheers.....Rob

Ana1136
Level 10
Ohrid, Macedonia (FYROM)

@Robin4 yes I understand that it is about a solo female, but my question is if she is in trouble how will a message from the host help? If I am in trouble and I have access to my phone the first thing I would do is call the police, I wouldn't even think of my host. They can ask their guests upon arrival to give them such info about how long they will stay but not text them in the middle of the night. For example if I was the guest I would be worried as to how does she know I am not in the room, did she enter in the middle of the night? Does she enter regularly? Can other people from the household enter just like that? Of it was a male host I would even be worried as to why does he need me in the house in the middle of the night? Does he watch my every move? I understand Airbnb is more personal than staying in a hotel, I am just saying there should be boundaries about how personal it gets. 

Robin4
Level 10
Mount Barker, Australia

@Ana1136 

Yes, I conceed, you have a point Ana, we do not have a need to intrude on our guests privavcy.

Just a bit of 'old mother hen' in me says, I just like to know everything is alright. I would never think of trying to contact a guest in the middle of the night personally but, if a single female guest did not come back here after a night out.....like Amy, I would be worried.

 

But as I said, you have a point that I can't argue against!

 

Cheers.....Rob

@Amy578 

I host solo guests in my single occupancy private guest room and for females guests I always ask them to let me or Henry know if they plan to be late or spend the night elsewhere so we know not to be too worried when they aren't home for more than 24hrs. 

Our guests are free to come and go as they please but many of our guests are exchange students who are on their own for the first time in new surroundings - we tell them we know they are adults but no harm in knowing your hosts are looking out for you. I've had the impression that most of our guests appreciate having us as their local emergency backup. 

 

While I  understand some people are very private, I personally think it's just common courtesy to let others living in the same house know if you plan on not being around for a night or two. At least it's how I was raised 🙂