Hi, I'm from totally elsewhere (France) and I work most like you. I like hosting (higher grade students, researchers, workers, and others too ... ) but I'm really frustrated with AirBnB's policy regarding the hosts. The "acceptance" or "declining" procedures and statistics are extremely biased on the host's "performances" (which comes always to the quantity of stays, as this amount will produce the number of reviews also, for instance) and not at all at the "travellers" behaviour. For me also, like you expressed, it is very important to have some contact with the (future) guest. There are, however, (too) many guests who apply (inquire), perhaps randomly at other places, willing to take some information, and then do never contact you any more. Still you have to pre approve, approve or decline. Of course, I do not want to preapprove someone who doesn't have the politeness to reply. And the remaining option, that is declining, counts as a refusal of a reservation, whatever the reason might be.. And, as it is not enough, a hugh stress is created by the pression put on you: if you don't do one or another, within 24 hrs, it's the same thing: you, as a host, did all wrong... THIS IS SO TERRIBLY UNFAIR!!!!
Would be simple though : Why not putting the option such as "traveller not responding to exchange".
Because this reason should go in the guest's statistics and profile, that would measure how serious / polite he, as the traveller, is.
I already discussed such things with the help team. . They are very polite, keep saying the thoughts and proposals are transmitted to .... yes indeed, to what and where? In a whole the team is submissive to AirBnB's rules and strategy, which is very rigid and directed to quantity (money making I might guess), more than to quality. The help team cannot make any changes in the profile, cancel, not even correct an "unlucky" misspelling. As the people who bring the money in, are the "guests", that means, the costumers, and as the hosts seem to be simply considered the production units, therefore no one really appears to be able to find a way to make things softer for you- to make you happy.
The guest, the travaller, though, has no deadlines, no threat of any kind..
I find this a shame of an initially well intended iniative. It is the dark side of the moon, frustrating. I would really like that "AirBed" and Breakfast's management would listen to this - rather than to the stockmarkets sirenes... Perhaps a day.