The coded language of a review

[Laura2592]

I struggle with reviews. I try to be as honest as possible without being unkind. I have noticed that there are a lot of 5 stars out there for guests I would not have given 5 stars to. Digging deeper, there seems to be some common themes and coded language to warn other hosts that there might be issues belying the 5 stars. No one wants to come right out and say that this person was painful to deal with.

For example a recent guest emailed me 20 times or more per day of his stay with questions about very pedantic things. The sink made a gurgling noise. A light bulb in a decorative lamp went out. One remote only has one battery. He counted the light switches and can't figure out what one does. We addressed all of these concerns but it didn't stop until my husband took over communication. He responded immediately to that and the masses of emails halted. On his reviews this guest is described as "extremely communicative." When I write mine, I  would like to add that he "responded well to my husband" and that he may do better with an onsite host (we aren't.) 

Another guest had expectations for kitchenware we could not meet. He let us know our brand new Amazon delivered set was no match for what he expected. His reviews when I looked (too late, he was an early guest and I was still learning) said things like "this guest has a very high standard" and "this guest described himself as a chef and enjoys a restaurant style kitchen." Likewise one guest was very upset we didn't provide a lemon zester in our normal kitchenware (we had to go get one, she was having a literal melt down.)  Nothing in her reviews addressed that specifically but did say "XX has some quirks about what she needs during her stay. Best to communicate with her beforehand."

Another couple booked our place and brought in other overnight guests without paying. She sent us pics of the families standing on our porch. Her ratings from other hosts (all in our area) said things like "this guest likes to visit with family in the area." Or "so and so visited our place to be closer to her family in the area." I would have appreciated a "so and so had her family stay with her." It was obvious when we sent her the charges afterwards for the number of guests that she had done this before.

What have you said about guests in reviews that you meant as a warning to other hosts? Have you come right out with it or somewhat coded your responses?

[Sarah977]

@Anthony608  I think it's important to keep in mind that when you write a review, you are simply reviewing the people's suitability as guests, you aren't reviewing them as to who they are in general and a well-deserved bad review isn't going to ruin their life. If their feelings are hurt, so what, maybe they'll be better guests next time. 

If the bad review lessens their chances of being accepted by other hosts, they should have considered that before behaving rudely in someone else's home.

[Emilia42]

@Anthony608 

A telling review doesn't have to be scathing or hurtful. You can say something like "While I enjoyed meeting XX and family, they would be better suited to a private apartment/house instead of a home share. The coming and going at late hours made it difficult for others in the house to sleep and they did have to be reminded of some house rules. Extra cleaning, surpassing the cleaning fee, was needed at checkout."

As Sarah said, If these are good people, they will try to be better guests at their next Airbnb. If not, your review won't phase them but hopefully, the next host will have some warning.

[David4245]

Giving reviews doesn't have to be hard! Remember this is a business and your guests are not your friends. But as you know, they are your paying clients and they deserve everything you advertised them as well as your courtesy. My current review strategy developed through learning, some from the reviews my guests gave me. I never give an undeserving star in hopes of getting 5 stars for myself. Most importantly  I always keep emotion out of it. My guests upon arrival begin with an assumed 5 stars. The first thing I do is ask myself "are they welcome back?" If so I might be willing to forgive small things, after-all we all make mistakes.  If they left me a big mess to clean up, there goes one star. If they violated my rules, each violation removes a star. If they damaged something and let me know, I don't take stars but charge them for damages. If they damage and don't tell me, there goes another star plus costs for damages. If their communication was bad, I take away a star. I never let my reviews get personal, and I tell it like it is. I write short and sweet to-the-point reviews and never ramble. If I liked something about the guest, I say what it is. If they lost stars, I explain why. I only welcome back 4-5 star guests. If my guests host a party, I will know and I immediately call the police and escort them off the property without refund. I learned to do this this way and it makes the process consistently easier. Treat it like the business it is, and it will work for you.  hope this helps.

[Sarah977]

@David4245  I'm glad to hear you aren't afraid to leave honest reviews as well as appropriate star ratings. I'm not sure if you're aware, but hosts who don't use IB do not have access to guest star ratings, we rely on the written reviews. So hosts who slam guests on the ratings because guests can't see the star ratings that were left for them yet leave some less than honest written review are doing other hosts a big disservice. 

And short and sweet (or not sweet) is fine- I don't need to read some novela detailing all the things a guest did wrong. But if they left a big mess behind them or ignored the house rules, I want to be aware of that. 

I agree with you that hosts should cut guests a bit of slack, just as we'd like them to do for us, as you say, no one is perfect. If the guest washed all their dirty dishes, but you found some food still stuck to them or that they were still greasy, the guest may just be a lousy dishwasher or didn't have their close vision glasses on- at least they made the effort and it's not anything I'd mention or downgrade them on. 

[Su-Ying0]

Please give honest reviews. I feel confused that my current guest has had 99% glowing reviews and only one bad one. 

He has a pleasant manner but is a bad guest. Doesn't follow house rules although I've asked repeatedly. He says "you got it!" each time, but then doesn't follow through. I suppose his manner is why he gets good reviews. I would not host him again and wish other hosts had been honest. But maybe the difference is due to standards. For some hosts, they might consider broken house rules but a pleasant manner okay?

I appreciate the difficult work any host who has given a fair but negative review of a guest has done. No one likes to be the "bad guy" but we can't make bad guests someone else's problem after we're done hosting them. 

[Rebecca1458]

I've noticed a potential common theme with "X was a fine guest". We've only hosted a handful of reservations so far, but the two that were the most high-maintenance had "fine guest" in their reviews. Curious if anyone has noticed that as well?

[Dave1074]

Codes are for adults talking so the kids don't follow it, or so the cat does not know about the V-E-T visit. 

Reviews should be honest.  There are times when a Guest should be informed privately, and times when future hosts should get alerted. 

How would you feel if you got a poor guest where prior hosts were overly kind or wrote in code?  Wouldn't you prefer to read clear honest reviews, especially for a prospective guest had caused damage, smoked, violated house rules? 

[Alexandra316]

@Laura2592 Everyone wants to write a good coded review rather than be straightforward, because few hosts want to be the bad guy. You've shown in your own examples how ineffective coded reviews can be, and I would urge you to honest and straightforward in your feedback (as long as you stay within review guidelines so it doesn't get removed).

My least favourite coded review is "guest is better suited to a hotel". What does that mean? Guest was a bit high maintenance and would have enjoyed having a doorman? Guest crapped on the carpets and the host had to clean it up, which is something hotels are better equipped to deal with because they own their own carpet steamers? It doesn't tell me anything.

[Debi8]

I don't care for the "guest is better suited to a hotel" so on a particularly difficult guest, I found more to my liking a suggestion of just saying the guest stayed e.g." Lori stayed at my Airbnb in September."  Does not slam nor compliment. It's just a fact. I do think just stating they stayed is what I will do best unless they were destructive.  All these vailed examples do not sound obvious to me -at all.  In fact quite complementary unless you took the time to read all that hosts'  reviews of their guests.  No we read the reviews of the  all hosts on the one guest.  

[Gabriella40]

That’s passive/aggressive to the letter!

[Laura2592]

@Alexandra316 my impression of "better at a hotel" is that the first wanted room service, daily maid service and to be able to sneak as many people into their room as possible without anyone noticing. And after if they didn't like their stay they could write a strongly worded letter to corporate. It's open to several million different interpretations. 

[Alexandra316]

@Laura2592 I was being a little bit facetious, but as you say, it's extremely open to interpretation and doesn't really mean anything, which is my issue with it. It could mean anything from a minor annoyance to damage and having a party.

[Stephanie365]

"Guest is Better Suited to a Hotel" means they don't have the mentality or understand the concept that they are sharing a space in someone's home instead of staying at a hotel.  

They tend to be high maintenance and expect someone to be at their beck and call at any hour. Hotels have paid staff (desk clerks, maids, repair persons, etc.) that are available 24/7 to address issues that may arise.  Private homes generally don't. We have jobs and we need to sleep.  We don't need to be awaken at unreasonable hours for something utterly ridiculous.

An example of this is one of my guests messaged me at 1 am to say the air conditioner was set too cold for her liking. (The HVAC is for the whole house and was set at 74) She had been there for 7 hours at this point. You think maybe she could have said something at 9 pm instead of 1 am?  Needless to say, I didn't get the message until the following morning. 

The other thing it can mean is the guests are complete slobs, disrespectful of your property and possessions and are clearly used to having domestics follow behind them and clean up after them.

An example of this was one of my guests literally trashed my suite.  They used every cup, every dish and every piece of silverware in one night. And the dishes and utensils were left everywhere throughout the suite. They spilled coffee and just left it.  They dropped food everywhere and just left it. They threw trash in the sink and on the floor where they emptied the trash out of their car. The trash cans were all overflowing so they just left the trash wherever. 

Again, these kinds of people need to stay in a hotel where they have people who are paid to clean up messes like these instead of some poor host being stuck with the mess.

[Alexandra316]

@Stephanie365 But what's wrong with just saying that, rather than "coding" it? Why not just be straightforward about what happened? X stayed for one night and my suite required significant extra cleaning after their stay. Dirty dishes and utensils were left throughout, spills were not cleaned up, and garbage was left everywhere. I would not host these guests again.

We're getting paid too: I doubt a hotel maid wants to clean this up either. This type of mess isn't okay anywhere.

[Stephanie365]

Because some people simply are not confrontational and just cannot say something unpleasant about someone no matter how awful that person may be.

For example, when I was house hunting, my realtor was the sweetest lady on the planet. I came across the listing for my home and asked her about it. Her shoulders slumped and she let out a sigh and said, "That's Mr. Derby's place. He's..... different."

"Different" is an understatement. Mr. Derby had a penchant for answering the door wearing nothing but his tighty whiteys. And when you're a 70 year old chain smoking alcoholic, that isn't a pretty picture. Everyone knew Mr. Derby, and few had anything nice to say about him. He was a con man and a shyster. He was outspoken and none too polite about it. He was rather infamous actually.  When we moved to the area and told people we bought Mr. Derby's old place, the overwhelming response was, "Oh, my. I feel sorry for you." Followed up by "Thank you for buying it. Are you going to fix it up?" Because the place was an eyesore.

It's pretty bad when you can go to the county courthouse and simply say, "I live in Mr. Derby's old place and they know exactly where that is."  LOL

________________________________

I personally leave reviews that spell it out.  But for those who don't want to come across as negative (and risking having the review removed by ABB because they value guests over hosts), "Better suited to a hotel" is code for "Don't do it."

And while I agree that hotel maids don't want to clean up the mess, it's a given that people (generally) will treat a commercial entity with less respect than a private one.

I feel as a host, I am sharing my home with you and you are my guest.  I would not empty the trash out of my car and dump it in my host's kitchen. But some people are pigs.