The coded language of a review

[Laura2592]

I struggle with reviews. I try to be as honest as possible without being unkind. I have noticed that there are a lot of 5 stars out there for guests I would not have given 5 stars to. Digging deeper, there seems to be some common themes and coded language to warn other hosts that there might be issues belying the 5 stars. No one wants to come right out and say that this person was painful to deal with.

For example a recent guest emailed me 20 times or more per day of his stay with questions about very pedantic things. The sink made a gurgling noise. A light bulb in a decorative lamp went out. One remote only has one battery. He counted the light switches and can't figure out what one does. We addressed all of these concerns but it didn't stop until my husband took over communication. He responded immediately to that and the masses of emails halted. On his reviews this guest is described as "extremely communicative." When I write mine, I  would like to add that he "responded well to my husband" and that he may do better with an onsite host (we aren't.) 

Another guest had expectations for kitchenware we could not meet. He let us know our brand new Amazon delivered set was no match for what he expected. His reviews when I looked (too late, he was an early guest and I was still learning) said things like "this guest has a very high standard" and "this guest described himself as a chef and enjoys a restaurant style kitchen." Likewise one guest was very upset we didn't provide a lemon zester in our normal kitchenware (we had to go get one, she was having a literal melt down.)  Nothing in her reviews addressed that specifically but did say "XX has some quirks about what she needs during her stay. Best to communicate with her beforehand."

Another couple booked our place and brought in other overnight guests without paying. She sent us pics of the families standing on our porch. Her ratings from other hosts (all in our area) said things like "this guest likes to visit with family in the area." Or "so and so visited our place to be closer to her family in the area." I would have appreciated a "so and so had her family stay with her." It was obvious when we sent her the charges afterwards for the number of guests that she had done this before.

What have you said about guests in reviews that you meant as a warning to other hosts? Have you come right out with it or somewhat coded your responses?

[Anthony608]

"Check-in and checkout with no issues.  Room left in good condition at the end of the stay".

This is my standard way of telling other hosts that a guest didn't technically do anything wrong, but they were still a problem guest.  I also have added "guest would be more suited to a hotel" for really bad cases.

Negative things I directly state in a review are:

1) Guest attempted to arrive early without paying for early check-in

2) Guest overstayed the reservation and did not leave at checkout time

3) Guest attempted to bring extra unregistered guests into the home

4) Guest entered an off limits area of the home (in one very egregious case, I also added "and would not leave after being asked")

The above statements are always added to a review, with no suger coating, since these are very serious issues to warn other hosts about.

[Huma0]

@Anthony608 

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@Anthony608 wrote:

"Check-in and checkout with no issues.  Room left in good condition at the end of the stay".

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Sorry, but this doesn't indicate to me in any way that this was a problem guest. Some hosts just leave short, basic reviews for their good guests, so how are we supposed to tell the difference? Most hosts won't have time then to search all the reviews you left for other guests to see if you normally write something more personal or effusive.

I much prefer your direct remarks in points 1-4.

[Laura2592]

I started doing something like this:

"So and so was friendly and seemed to enjoy the space. Communication was good prior to check in. However some house rules were not followed.  Other hosts who allow smoking/are open to additional guests/don't mind extra clean up or laundry should find this group pleasant to work with."

If the guests weren't nasty but obviously did something wrong they get this. And then low star ratings and I wouldn't host again. This is my "not a fit for me but someone might be ok with these people " review. 

If they are really bad I just say  "Not a guest we would have back." 

[Huma0]

@Laura2592 

I have also sometimes mentioned that 'house rules were broken', 'several house rules were broken', 'some important house rules were broken' etc. when I don't want to be more specific, e.g. when guests smoked weed inside the house (I have heard Airbnb can remove any review that accuses a guest of drug use, even if it's strictly against the host's rules).

I have also mentioned 'cleanliness issues' or causing damages without going into a lot of detail. I hope that it is enough for hosts to know that there were significant problems. I wouldn't mention cleanliness issues for example if they were minor or breaking of house rules just because someone kept leaving lights on.

[Huma0]

Sometimes I wish though that I had been more specific. One of the worst hosting experiences I had was with a particularly demanding, problematic couple (too many issues to list here). I didn't want to write an essay, so wrote:

"On a positive note, Sharon and Brian were reasonably clean and tidy guests. However, there were numerous problems around communication and house rules, even resulting in complaints from my other guests (something that has never happened before in the 250 or so stays I’ve hosted in my home). I think therefore that Sharon and Brian are better suited to a hotel or renting an entire unit."

All of the above is true, but the guest's response was that I was making things up because she left me a negative review. Hopefully, most hosts will know this isn't true because of course I couldn't see her review before I left mine. I can see though how the guest themselves could conclude that my review was not truthful, because I wasn't specific about their behaviour and I didn't tell them about the complaints from the other guests because I didn't want those guests to feel more uncomfortable than they already were. 

I had no idea until I read the guest's response that they had actually contacted Airbnb to complain. Airbnb certainly never contacted me about it. She says that the only reason they stayed was because 'Airbnb wouldn't help us.' Mmm, I wonder why?

Should I have instead wrote something like?:

"On a positive note, Sharon and Brian were reasonably clean and tidy guests. However, there were numerous problems around communication, e.g. they ignored directions and check in time and didn't bother telling me they would be hours late. They seemed to misunderstand a lot of my listing, e.g. that three meals a day are not provided, that my personal belongings in private cupboards are not for their consumption and that bathrooms are shared (and should therefore not be left covered in sopping wet laundry). Several house rules were broken, most significantly very loud late night noise that woke up and alarmed other guests. My other guests also did not appreciate their constant complaining.

These were by far the most high maintenance guests I have hosted in over 250 stays. They made full use of every amenity but still had numerous unreasonable demands and seemed resentful that they had to buy any of their own food. Neither of my three coffee makers were to their taste.

If you don't mind having to leave lights on all night or being screamed at because your guests are incapable of turning on a light switch, or having to buy full bags of coffee and sugar every day (must be white, as brown is not 'normal') and running to the store late at night to get it without so much as a thank you, being ignored when you ask someone how their day was or being bad mouthed to your other (very happy) guests, and having your other guests disturbed and even scared late at night, then Sharon and Brian are the perfect guests for you."

[Anthony608]

@Huma0- That would have actually been an extremely appropriate review, you didn't say anything that was untrue and accentuated the issues with the problem guest.  I too had a guest who used my shared bathroom for laundry and I pointed this out in the review.  They were a couple from West Africa with a small two year old girl.  The woman took issue with several things in the home, including  the fact that I also lived in the house! (she said she felt "unsafe").  She demanded they have a private lock installed on the door, to which only she had the key, which of course I said I would not do.  Not only for the fact this was a ridiculous request, but locked out of a room in my own home would have been a major safety issue if there was a fire or some other type of emergency.

The husband was much nicer, and I actually gave the little girl a stuffed reindeer toy (it was Christmas time) when they left.  When they checked out, they left the house in very bad shape, all the doors open, the refrigerator left open, took all the toilet paper, and had two men ("friends") who came to the house that morning who were walking around the house looking at things and generally acting weird.  I was not home when they checked out, but another guest was and actually called me and said he felt uncomfortable.  That ironically was why I moved checkout time from 1PM to 11AM so checking out guests would not overlap with new arrivals.

I've also had three guests steal food from me and one, like you, demand that they be provided groceries.  He was a hearing impaired gentleman and, while I respected his disability, he was a very difficult guest to have in the house.  He ignored off limits areas and walked into both my office and bedroom to ask questions.  He also wanted me to act as a type of caretaker, drive him to various activities during the day, and spend time with him at night.  He also walked into the bathroom and used it right in front of our housekeeper who was standing in there cleaning the sink. 

When he left, I stated in the review he needed a host who would stay home during the day and could tend to his needs.  He also had stated in his review that I had not taken care of him and there was nothing to eat in the house.  I replied publicly that I do not provide groceries for guests and was sorry he had that impression.  Both he and the West African couple left four stars.  The couple I said in the review that they would be better suited for a hotel, mentioning further they had washed laundry in the shared bathroom, left all the doors open upon departure, and also had attempted to have mail sent to the house.

[Huma0]

@Anthony608 

It's interesting you should say that. Any guest who has issue with me living in the house is bound to be a problem from the very start. This is so clearly stated in the listing (which I always ask them to confirm they have read) that there's no way anyone could misunderstand unless they wilfully refused to read it. Yet, I have also had guests like those.

I also do not have locks on internal doors (for reasons too complicated to explain briefly, but the doors are Victorian and it's not simple to install new locks) and this is clearly stated on the listing. It's really not a problem for the vast majority of guests, but I had one couple who never mentioned it as an issue until the review, when they said it made them feel extremely unsafe. Not that anything bad happened during their stay. They just didn't like the idea of it.

I totally understand if my listing does not suit someone's tastes. Each to their own. What I don't like is when people complain about stuff that is so clearly stated on the listing. I know many hosts have the same problem, but I got a bit sick of people who don't read anything and then make a fuss. That's their fault, not mine.

[Anthony608]

@Huma0- I actually do have locks on the guest room doors, they are simply internal doorknob locks which the guest can close and lock when they are in the room.  The woman I mentioned from West Africa wanted a knob with both an internal and external lock with a key and (get this) said she preferred a keycard like hotels had.

I recall the conversation vividly.  I explained that the lock had internal locks and , when she asked how to lock the door from the outside, I said it wasn't possible or necessary since they were in the home by themselves with no other guests present.  She glared at me and said, "But, you're here" and then proceeded into her explanation about they didn't want me to have the ability to enter the room (at all) and wanted a private key.

Out of curiosity, I recently looked up their profile.  No reviews since their stay with me and, very interestingly, the name on the profile has changed.  I imagine when they stayed with me they were not using their real name either.

https://www.airbnb.com/users/show/225229497

[Sarah977]

@Anthony608  My guest room does have a external lock, but that's only because the guest room opens off the upstairs balcony (as does my bedroom), so it's actually an external door. And of course I have keys to that door.

But if that wasn't the situation, and a guest ever expressed that they wanted to lock their door to secure their stuff from me, I'd be pointing out that they are a guest in my home, my things are accessible to them, and should I not trust them with my stuff? People can be such dummies- as if a host wouldn't have keys to all the rooms in their own home. Or hotel management doesn't have a master key card to enter any room they need to.

[Huma0]

@Anthony608 

A hotel style card, really? That's one I have never heard before. I'm not sure why the need to lock internal doors if they were the only ones staying there.

I've only had very few guests that seemed unhappy that the bedroom door doesn't lock. One couple seemed a bit concerned about it but were okay once I explained why I couldn't put a new lock on the door. Another couple never mentioned it but then said in their review or feedback that it made them feel 'extremely unsafe as anyone could have come into the room at night'. Funnily enough, both of these were for my best room, which seems to attract fussy guests. I never had these complaints about the other rooms, which also don't lock.

I have since made a point of mentioning this on the listing and also that there are lockable desks in each room if people do want to lock away valuables. That seems to satisfy anyone who asks and then they never end up locking stuff in the desks as far as I am aware. I only go in to clean the rooms.

I can see why some people might be concerned in a shared listing, but in the hundreds of stays I've hosted, I've never had a guest steal from me or another guests, nor enter another guest's room as far as I know and certainly not at night. I have had a couple of guests want to come into my room (which is a big no for me) but they were just being nosy and wanted to check out the decor. Who knows if people take a sneaky peek when I am out though!

[Anthony608]

@Huma0- I believe from the start there was something suspicious and not right about that couple.  The "concerns" about security, and asking for a hotel styled card key, were most likely part of some scheme - perhaps an attempt to later claim they felt unsafe or a as prelude for asking for a refund.

The fact that they tried to have mail sent to my address was a huge red flag.  Still, I was very nice to them and extremely kind to their child, even buying her that stuffed animal when they departed.  Still, the woman was always very distant, acting sour and suspicious during her stay.  When denied access to my basement, which was where my washing machine was located (which I do not let guests use due to water costs) she then began blatantly washing clothes in the bathtub of the shared bathroom even after being asked not too.

She would stay home with her child and a baby while the husband went out during the day and oftentimes at night with "friends".  Frequently he would return around 1:30 to 2 in the morning, ringing the doorbell and pounding on the door, saying he had forgotten the door keycode.  He was still more friendly than her, but I really had the feeling they were up to something.  They stayed with me for about a week, acting very evasive and cagey about the most simplest of matters, and then left the home in very bad condition at checkout, leaving all the doors open as well as the refrigerator and freezer open as well - I wonder actually if that last issue was on purpose.

In the end - perhaps an attempt to establish residence with the mail at the house and then, when that didn't work, leaving a 4 star review out of spite.  The fact that there is also an entirely different name now on their AirBNB account speaks volumes.  I have not had too many people like this (only a handful out of nearly 200 stays), but these people I will never forget.

[Jessica-and-Henry0]

@Anthony608 

All the doors in my apartment have doors that can only be locked from the inside (when a person is inside) and I have had a few people express concern about leaving  valuables in their room. I offer the use of a small safe for passports/cash if the guest wants but I also add (lightly and jokingly) they are coming as a guest in my home and they have full access to my home and my belongings, and that our coffee machine costs more than most people's laptops.

We also reiterate to guests that our home itself is very safe (sturdy front door that auto-locks, security system, cctvs in the elevator and building entrances/exits, a guard at the main gate) and we are not in the habit of letting people we do not know or trust enter our home. That we take our own safety very seriously and would expect nothing less from any of our guests. 

We try to address concerns as best we can, but do make it clear, if you don't trust us with your couple nights ~ 5 months worth of luggage, then why would we trust you and give you a key to our home? It goes both ways~ 

If any guest is uncomfortable with this, to me, it just means they aren't cut out to stay in a shared home private room listing. 

[Huma0]

@Anthony608 

Your guests may have been up to something suspicious or they may have just been bad and annoying guests. I have encountered guests who display a lot of similar behaviour and I also do not like guests receiving mail here, but those guests were just a bad fit and either couldn't be bothered to read the listing and rules or couldn't be bothered to follow them.

If you felt something was up though, you are quite likely right. Your gut instinct will usually tell you if guests are up to something fishy.

I think though that your review of them was perhaps too generous. You said they were really nice people, but they don't sound nice at all!

[Anthony608]

@Huma0- I was much more forgiving a year ago and still concerned a bit too much about hurting people's feelings in reviews.  Also, in this case, I felt bad giving a negative review to a family with small children.  Since then, its become obvious that this couple was trying to take advantage of me as the host.  Most of my guests are very nice people, however, and this was the exception.