Thinking of amending my charging policy ;)

in
Lyndhurst, United Kingdom
Level 4
817 Views

A simple rate for the night doesn't truely reflect what I would like to charge:

1.  A 5% discount for bald people (cleaning hair out of the drains is the worst job)

2. A 10% discount if the entire party are bald!

3. A 20% surcharge if the group has booked for a wedding (the makeup is everywhere and don't mention the pillows!)

4. A 10% surcharge per child who can't eat at the table (You know the ones, food and crumbs everwhere - except under the table)
5 A 7% discount for groups who want to eat out for every meal, there are 34 places to eat in out village (and we don't have to clean the oven!)
6 A 1% surcharge for every question that has already been answered in the information booklet

 

I'm sure you people can think of more!

11 Replies

Re: Thinking of amending my charging policy ;)

in
Placencia, Belize
Level 10

Lord, you give me ideas! I am going to experiment with a 'Non-Painful Guest' discount of a whopping 25% and even going for the whole enchiladas with a 50% discount extended to 'No-Show Guests', wish me luck.

Re: Thinking of amending my charging policy ;)

in
Auchenblae, United Kingdom
Level 10

A 10% surcharge for guests who you have to drag responses out of pre-arrival

A 20% surcharge for guests who litter the driveway/garden/plant pots with cigarette butt 🤮 

Re: Thinking of amending my charging policy ;)

in
Lyndhurst, United Kingdom
Level 4

@Ama2  Oh, I've got a trap door and a cellar for people who stand by my front door smoking, and that's not just guests!

Re: Thinking of amending my charging policy ;)

in
London, United Kingdom
Level 10

@Perry90 

 

I am a smoker myself, but it drives me CRAZY all the cigarette butts left in my front garden. Those are not left by guests by the way, but random passers by. I would NEVER throw my cigarette butt in someone's garden. I don't know why people do this.

 

Then again, I have seen worse things...

Re: Thinking of amending my charging policy ;)

in
Lusby, MD
Level 10

@Perry90 #5 totally. When I had a kitchen installed in my basement rental, I decided to go with a cooktop only, no oven. The reason was fire-related. Two months later when I had to clean my oven in my kitchen, it reminded me how thankful I was that I didn’t put an oven in the rental. 

Re: Thinking of amending my charging policy ;)

in
London, United Kingdom
Level 10

@Perry90 

 

I would give a discount to guests who don't come to the UK in winter and expect the temperature to be like the tropics, let alone expect heating in the summer, e.g. unlike the guest from Florida who DEMANDED that I put the heating on in the middle of June, when the other guests had their windows open, because "This is not hot where I come from!".

 

I would also give a discount to the guests who I can just have a conversation with along the lines of, "Hey, what did you do today?" instead of having to keep reminding them of house rules #awkward.

 

 

Re: Thinking of amending my charging policy ;)

Level 9

@Perry90 @Huma0  regarding I would also give a discount to the guests who I can just have a conversation with along the lines of, "Hey, what did you do today?" instead of having to keep reminding them of house rules #awkward.

 

This is soo true.

Re: Thinking of amending my charging policy ;)

in
Rawai, Thailand
Level 10

I would Love people to close all windows and doors when they have the A/C on, save on my bank balance 

Re: Thinking of amending my charging policy ;)

in
Huskisson, Australia
Level 10

@Perry90 I would give a discount for guests that leave on check out time and extra discount for those that leave an hour earlier. 

Re: Thinking of amending my charging policy ;)

in
Victoria, Australia
Level 10

@Perry90 I have news for you about the bald , especially the female variety . Perry , they wear wigs . Sometimes these things are made out of a plastic fibre which sheds . I have had to drag whole handfuls of this stuff out of the vacumn and the shower and handbasin , so do not mention bald ladies as good guests to me. Cheers

Re: Thinking of amending my charging policy ;)

in
Victoria, Australia
Level 10

@Perry 90  People who eat stinky food in bed or cook it so that it takes days to remove the smell . You know who you are .or leave 'evidence ' of their shenanigans H

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