Weird couple with boundary issues

Mimi20
Level 3
Los Angeles, CA

Weird couple with boundary issues

American couple in their early forties booked my private room. I was out when they arrived - noon - and did not get home until midnight. I walked in the door to find they were asleep on the bed with the door wide open leading into my living room. I thought that was pretty weird - it's hot in LA, but cools at night - but I couldn't see if bags were in the way so I didn't close the door. I wake up at 8am with my toddler and walk into the living room and their door is still wide open. I walk over to close it and suddenly dude lying on bed waves at me cheerily and says "Hi!". I'm like, oh, hi, I was just going to close your door, but if you want it open...

 

I sit, four feet away, watching cartoons with my son while - they get dressed with their door open.

 

They leave an hour or so later. I'm like, these people are weird. Their reviews are really great but I'm weirded out.

 

Later that day they come back. Dude hops in the shower, helps himself to my super expensive, very fragrant shower gel, and then strolls out wearing only a towel. All night this guy walks back and forth in front of me from his room to the fridge wearing a towel.

 

In the end I sent them a super polite message telling them to close their door and please wear more clothes for everyone's privacy, and tell them to ask if they need anything and not to use my cosmetics. I debated on canceling but there's only a couple nights left. Is this as weird as I think it is?

 

Have you ever had weird guests and how did you handle it? I actually sent my son away for a few days and am camping out in my own bedroom to avoid them but since I sent the message I haven't seen them which is nice. They're not getting a good review.

26 Replies 26
Cynthia157
Level 2
Williamstown, MA

That would definately be creepy! I would put a sign on their door "Keep door closed". Do you leave a welcome letter? I leave one with info about the area, wifi password, etc, but also with some rules - please turn out lights when you leave, don't leave wet towels on wood furniture, respect the Private Area signs. My guests are in a separate wing of my house, so lack of clothes isn't an issue, but I'd suggest you mention it in your welcome letter. Sorry you had to deal with these people!

Cynthia

Yes I have a welcome letter but clearly it needs revising! I wish I had a separate wing... most of my guests are super quiet and don't say much and no bother at all (if not particularly friendly). These people are just...odd!

@Mimi20 My listing is a guest room in my home so if anything like that happened to me I'd be weirded out too. 

 

I mean......I think I could understand falling asleep with the door open part - if no one was there at the time, they might not have really thought to close the door. And some people are really oblivious to that kind of stuff...... so...... I could leave it at that. 

But walking around in a towel in someone else's home, in front of people who are not immediate family is just soooo~ wrong. 

 

@Cynthia157 made good suggestions about signs and I'd include "wear proper clothing in shared areas" to your house rules. 

 

Regarding your shower gel, if it's in a bathroom that is shared, then people will feel free to use whatever catches their eye. If you don't want guests using certain items, then I think it's better to keep them out of their reach - just to be safe. 

You're right. It's a tiny bathroom so sadly everything is in reach but I'm going to revise the welcome note and print it out and include that!

Kate157
Level 10
SF, CA

@Mimi20 I sympathize. When we had an oversized female do this in the spare room we used to rent out, it forced us to close our doors so we didn't have to watch her reading or lolling in bed. She was only there for a couple of nights, but I was very glad to see her go. I hated the open door, but still did not feel it was my place to tell her to close it. Sometimes having guests is just difficult.

I suppose a "non oversized" female would have been okay??

Yes @Kate157 this comment says rather more about you than your guest.

And you felt the need to make this self-righteous comment? Says more about you than about me. Rather!

It IS your place to tell her to close it.  It's YOUR house, and you are the HOST. 

That isn't the way I see it. If someone is paying for a space, it is up to them to decide if the door is open or not. They are paying  for that privilege, despite my overall ownership.

Farah1
Level 10
Seattle, WA

@Mimi20 this happens sometimes.. I think having this in the house rules will be the way to go. I had guests who are twins (female and male) and they always go to the bathroom together. They are in their late 20s and I think this is weird. I didn't really care though, and they were really nice people. So, I did not bother saying anything as it was none of my business (different than walking around in towels like your story). For some people it is just their habit and some are cultural. I have had guest who walk to the bathroom in their underwear in the morning, but I personally don't really care because sometimes I still stay at hostels when I travel and that is very common. I believe this will be different once I have a kid though.

Mariann4
Level 10
Bergen, Norway

The joy of hosting, @Mimi20! Meeting VERY different people! 🙂

But to be serious...

I want people to relax at my place. So I try to think that if something happens that is different to how I lead my life, people might feel so relaxed that they act like home. They feel safe.

Then there are the different mindsets. What is normal to me is strange to others. When alone I shower with my bathroom door wide open. I dry up and walk around my house to find new clothes with a towel on my hair. Yes! My hair. Not my body. I share my bathroom with my guests. And of course I don't shower like that when having guests (but a habit is hard to change! Have to think twice if wanting to take a shower). But my bathroom is half a meter from my bedroom door and one meter from my guests door. It is not unthinkable that my guests would consider it an option to walk the one meter with only a towel around their body. The bathroom gets misty and is small. Getting dressed in the bedroom is more simple and more space is available. So I just look away if I happen to meet guests wearing nothing but a towel on this path. After all they at least wear a towel.

 

Going to the kitchen wearing a towel... For me not a big issue if he's not hanging around. I once had a boy going to the kitchen wearing his jeans and no shirt. He punished himself when he started making bacon... 😄

 

As for the door... Also very different from guest to guest. Most change/sleep/pack with their door closed. Some don't close it completely. But many guests hit the town with the door wide open after they have left. I'm always surprised when I see the open door. But again, I think that people relax. After all they have paid for the room and I consider it of limit. So I move my sight in a different direction.

 

After all Airbnb originally was about sharing and cultural sharing. For some it still is. People have different views as to what is private for them and what is not. Add a houserule stating that clothes are to be worn in common areas.

 

For the cosmetics. I learnt that anything left out in the open gets used by guests. So I take what's in the shower into my room and expect the guests not to open any cabinet. So far so good.

 

Mariann 🙂

@Mariann4 One of my very first bookings was a pair of twenty-something females. One day I was approached by them saying "we looked through everything (in the bathroom) and couldn't find your hairdryer in any of the cabinets." I apologized and said I was sorry, I don't use/own a hairdryer. But inside my head I am thinking "you went through my stuff????" After this, I bought a hairdryer and made tiny "private" labels for the cabinets and drawers in the bathroom.

I have the label-making machine ready in the backgound, @Kate157 😉

I have allready labelled a cabinet in the kitchen, and the cabinets in the bathroom are getting closer to being labelled every day. The boy with the bacon definetively used my toothpaste from inside the cabinet (I DON'T squeeze the tube on the middle!). But he was not the one booking. His friend was. And I really took it as a cultural/young/inexperienced-in-life kind of thing. The one booking was a perfect guest!

I have it stated in my listing that the cabinets in the bathroom are private. But I know people don't read... Problem being that the socket for an electrical shaver or hairdryer is inside the cabinet... But my last guests couldn't find the socket and asked (they have been the only ones using the hairdryer). So I still have hope that people behave.

 

The girls maybe didn't want to be of any trouble? And yet ended up being of more trouble.... 😄

I totally agree with your thoughts after their reveal!

 

Mariann 🙂