What is a tactful way of letting a talkative guest know that you want to do something else?

Laura1355
Level 7
Minnesota, United States

What is a tactful way of letting a talkative guest know that you want to do something else?

I am a new Air bnb host and have started renting out a spare bedroom in my small home. A guest has access to shared spaces such as the living room, kitchen, dining area, laundry room, and entertainment room in the basement. (Many of these rooms flow into each other because it is a small house.) I just had a nice guest arrive and I was happy to talk to him for several hours after he showed up. I had just gotten home from work. He is staying three nights so it's relatively short and he said he has a job nearby and just secured an apartment he will be moving into in a few weeks.

 

He is currently doing a small load of laundry which is perfectly fine and since the laundry room is in the basement with the big screen TV and couch, I encouraged him to watch Netflix or something he finds interesting. (He also of course can retreat to his room which has a big bed and comfy chair.) I am hoping he does after he is done with his laundry since I am an introvert and am so used to my alone time.

 

I would never be rude to him and am lucky he is a nice person, don't get me wrong! I just want to do what I can to avoid things being awkward because I got the impression he will sit and talk all night if I allowed it lol. And I'm just not that kind of person and actually have a little work to do on my computer.

 

Is it rude to say something like "it's been great talking to you. I am going to get a little work done on my computer so please let me know if  you need anything."? I kind of said that and he started doing laundry.  I said please make yourself comfortable and don't hesitate to ask for anything but it felt kind of like I was brushing him off. 

 

This is all so new to me and I know it will get easier the more I do it. Thanks in advance for your time!

7 Replies 7
Sarah977
Level 10
Sayulita, Mexico

What you said to him sounds fine, not rude at all, and seems to have worked, since you say he then went and did his laundry. 

 

It is your home- be real, be who you are. You don't have to put on some kind of bend-over-backwards show to be available to chat with guests when you have other things to do or just want some private time. 

 

Is your house so open-plan that you need to give guests access to all those spaces? Could you just give access to kitchen, laundry and enetertainment area in basement, keeping the living room/dining room for yourself? Not knowing your exact house layout, I realize that may not be practical.

Fred13
Level 10
Placencia, Belize

Laura, your heart is in the right place, unfortunately time is indeed limited. You did well.

@Laura1355

Henry and I usually go with something like "I'd love to chat again with you later. Unfortunately I have some work to get done before XXXX so I should stop slacking and go finish up now 🙂 G'nite!!!" And then we act all busy whenever we bump into the guest. 

Marzena4
Level 10
Kraków, Poland

@Laura1355, definitely assertively excusing yourself to whatever other commitments you might have. Some guests have personal or mental issues - you never know who you will be hosting. And according to Airbnb you mustn't discriminate.

// "The only person you can trust is yourself"
Laura1355
Level 7
Minnesota, United States

Excellent points, everyone! thank you!

 

He spent the night watching Netflix in our entertainment area which would out great. Bumped into him this morning as he was headed into the shower and said good morning and that was it. we are both headed off to work for the day. 

 

I think he is used to talking more with his hosts because he did mention he had been staying at a guy's house for a longer period while apartment hunting and the male bnb host had a prior guest scheduled. So it makes sense that he got used to being very friendly since he apparently really hung out with the other host a lot more. I literally don't care if I don't see my guests other than to check in with them to make sure they are OK. But I will be friendly and open to conversation.

 

I will use those tactics tonight to avoid having to talk all night with this guest. I will be getting home at 6 and will be in a hurry to eat dinner and read a book.  I will ask him briefly how his day was and if he needs everything and say I have work to do after that. Thanks for the tips!

Mrs--Donna0
Level 3
Baltimore, MD

Please join my fb group

Why, we have one life, and a certain amount of time, I think people do not respect you if they think they can take your time from you like this, I alway ask other for permission for their time, ( You have time to chat a little? ) if they say yes then I conversate, if they say no, I would say, okay, maybe next time. lol  When I get cought up in a conversation and I have things to do. As a nurse, I keep walking while they talk, if they want to get in the pt room with me and the pt does not mine, then okay. At home if I do not feel like talking, which I do when I am tired, I would tell them, well I have to get to my room, I am tired, I have to get off my feet right about now. People will take your time if you allow them. 

Lisa1122
Level 4
Fort Worth, TX

Thanks for your post and comments everyone. I have a guest who is extremely talkative AND has no boundaries or sense of social cues!! She’s the worst guest we’ve ever hosted because she makes us uncomfortable in our own home. She doesn’t respect which space is the Airbnb space and which space is not. She constantly talks even calling loudly downstairs repeatedly to chat about trivial things about or to borrow my nail polish ie. even when my husband and I were trying to chill and watch tv after a long day. She arrived yesterday. We met her around 5pm and after a while of this, we went to the mall and to eat to get away for a while but when we got back — same behavior from her. She is here today and one more night. And my husband and I both have today and tomorrow off from work. What do we do?? Help!? What would you do? Any tips? Thank you.