I went ahead and joined Twitter, since after two weeks it was clear I wasn’t going to receive a reply from either the phone help line or the in-app message help center. They certainly replied promptly, but gave me the same line about my case needing to be forwarded to some mysterious third party. When I asked if I could just contact this party directly, they said this:
“ Because this team works with sensitive information, they must keep every conversation documented and are unable to make phone calls.”
These guys aren’t working in the friggin’ Pentagon, give me a break. I have worked in accounting, and I can assure you there is literally no corporation that forbids its accounting staff from making phone calls. I would be truly amused if I wasn’t so deeply concerned.