You really have to have a sense of humor in this business...

[Fred13]

I just got featured in a few publications and got the usual millions of hits, but the questions that followed were amusing from the hundreds of direct  inquiries (to my web site) that followed the articles. Two didn't mention Airbnb, the great majority do associate Bird Island with Airbnb.

1. For a 3-day stay I should pay for only 2 nights but get to stay 3 full days

2. Doesn't from the 12th-16th constitudes only 3 days? 

3. How many people can I bring to keep the first-2-person base price the same? 

4. What is the maximum amount of people the place holds, we are 11 people but like to know if we can bring more! (6 person maximum)

5. Can you hold X dates till I get paid?

6. So do I really have to send a 50% deposit now? Why?

7. Can I pay in monthly installments?

8. Why should my deposit not be fully defundable if I cancel even on the eve of my arrival?

9. Please book me for dates X (never bothering to look at the calendar).

10. I am 'considering' staying in your place if you take care of all my transportation to it. (Don't take too long)

11. Why can't I book for only 1 day (4-day minimum), because that is all I can afford.

Well that was 'fun'; 95% were like these, serious. Most were innocent enough, but most were clueless how STR works. I removed my reservation form in my web site and temporarily replaced it with a link to Airbnb till the scary avalanche subsides. At least with Airbnb they will have to verify themselves, will have to make an account if able to read somewhat, will have the math done for them and will have to pay up front. 

Trust me folks, it is a frightening world out there! I think Airbnb has the patience of a saint.

[Lawrene0]

"This guest is more suited to the Rejected Collection."

It works, @Sarah977!

[Fred13]

Imagine @Sarah977, called the new 'Dump Pile' listing category.

@Lawrene0, you can imagine when I meet a 'Convince me' type of inquiry. How does one say - "Listen sport, we only got 3 slots open in the next 1.5 years and there will be at least 50 people wanting to fill the slot you are interested in, so drop the attitude" - without sounding like an arrogant a*****e? LOL 

[Branka-and-Silvia0]

@Fred13

you say: " Listen DEAR, we only got 3 slots open in the next 1.5 years and there will be at least 50 people wanting to fill the slot you are interested in SO YOU CONVINCE ME 🙂 "

[Fred13]

Hahaha. Next time I will tell them - "Why don't you have your people contact my people" .

[Branka-and-Silvia0]

@Sarah977you are genius ! 😄

[Kathy33]

Fred your second island could be called The Island of no return!! 

[Branka-and-Silvia0]

Loool @Fred13 😄 😄

only human stupidity and universe are infinite ... but for the universe has not yet been proven.

I worked as a web designer in a past and got a lot of funny inquiries , there is a website with a compilation of such questions 😄 https://clientsfromhell.net/

The best I remember was : can you use the same color as this red but make it blue? 😄

[Robin4]

@Fred13 @Branka-and-Silvia0 @Pete28 @Helen427 @Linda-And-Richard0

Oh, beautiful Fred, but I think we all get them!

Can I share a few of my own!

Q/. I know you only drink red wine but will this bottle of white be ok?

A/. Are you trying to insult me, or educate me?

Q/. He is only a small dog! In fact he is so small you would not even think he was a dog!

A/. He’s not a dog, he’s a bladder with teeth and four legs!

Q/. I know you have said you are leaving for work at 8.30 in the morning but will it be ok if I put my car in the driveway, we should be awake by 9.00!

A/. Sure as long as you come with me and explain to my clients why their meal is 30 minutes late tomorrow!

Q/. Will you be available to do a check-in at 2.00 am tomorrow morning?

A/. Well I won’t be at the gate with the keys in hand but the cottage will be warm and the lights turned on!

Q/. You need to fix your hot water heater…I could not get any hot water in the shower!

A/. To get hot water you need to turn the shower mixer towards Hot, not Cold!

And this is possibly my favourite!!

Q/. I am sorry I did not flush the toilet, I saw a small spider and ran from the room!

A/. What the F**k would you have done if you saw a BIG spider!!!........

Jeezus, how do some people actually manage to tip-toe through life with that goal of making it safely to death!!!

I swear to you all I have had just these questions…..so Fred, although you host an island don’t think you are an island….we all get em mate!!!

Cheers......Rob

[Fred13]

Yeah @Robin0,  but the lady that was upset because she couldn't drive to the island (think Chesapeake Bay Bridge to a 1-acre island) and gave me a 4* for location is unique, you got to give me that one.

[Robin4]

@Fred13

Fred, my friend, there is no way I will ever be able to top you.....no hang on, maybe I can, just a bit!....you can't offer me a luxury houseboat holiday......

1. 

Although I am going to put it on the market Fred. Although it has great bookings it is a devaluating asset. Every year it loses a bit of it's value, and the rental income does not offset the depreciation.  I am much better putting that $300,000 into bricks and mortar that will keep on appreciating.

Cheers.....Rob

[Pete28]

I've heard claims that houseboats in Seattle are doing $70k / year on Airbnb. Problem is still cost of moorage etc. And the city has made it illegal from next year 😞

[Robin4]

@Fred13

Well somebody told me you were so delighted and cashed up with the success of Bird Island you were contemplating a series of islands to link up with the Florida Keys.....

Maybe that bridge is not "A bridge to far" after all!!!

Cheers......Rob

[Jessica-and-Henry0]

Burst out laughing at "a bladder with teeth and four legs"

[Sarah977]

Robin's (can't tag you here mate, sorry) one about the red/white wine reminded me- I happen to hate vinegar, any kind of vinegar. The smell gags me and it tastes like cleaning fluid to me (which I know many people use it for).

I haven't gotten this from guests, but from friends if I'm invited to dinner or a pot-luck. I say "If you're going to dress the salad, could I just take a bowl out first please, because I can't stand vinegar".

"Oh, but it's really expensive balsamic vinegar."  What part of 'I hate vinegar' don't they get?

I get the same with walnuts, which I also hate. "Oh, they're chopped up so small, you'll never taste them". When they're chopped up small, the taste permeates the whole dish. If they're whole, I can just pick them out.

I know, I'm a fusspot.

[Robin4]

@Sarah977  Well I can tag you Sarah!

Mate, I am absolutely with you in regard to vinegar and Balsamic.....ten years from now people will say 'What on earth is Balsamic"! We all try to convince ourselves that we enjoy the lovely taste of good food thouroughly overpowered and destroyed  by the saturation of vinegar! Another pet hate of mine is the humble pie. A bakery, pastrycook will go to the effort of creating a beautiful tasting pie with a delicate blending of subtle flavours....a gastronomic delight, and the goose who serves you says.....Would you like ketchup, or sweet chile, or Maple syrup with that.......and  proceeds to impregnate the entire contents of said pie with tomato sauce........What th!

I first developed a dislike for vinegar from the breakfast food to go cafes. In order to serve that perfectly shaped boiled egg, they add vinegar to the water which makes the egg retain it's form during the cooking process. And then to compound the problem they liberally splash it with Balsamic. A real double whamy!

I am with you 100% here Sarah!

The only thing that vinegar belongs in is a 'Pavlova' and then only a couple of teaspoons!

Cheers......Rob