Young American threatening to sue after things didn't go his way

Helena23
Level 2
Cape Town, South Africa

Young American threatening to sue after things didn't go his way

I have been hosting on airbnb for over a year and I have been delighted by it.  I love connecting with people around the world and showing them my local environment.  I go out of my way for my guests as that is my standard of hospitality.  It is what I learned from my parents who hosted international guests a lot when I was growing up on a farm in a desert region of South Africa called The Karoo.  They call it Karoo hospitality.

 

I also have two daughters at a very influential age: 10 and 12, and they have been learning about the world through our guests.

So we were very excited to have  a young 19 year old American boy who proclaimed himself to be a Youtuber come to stay.  (My girls want to be You tubers too>)  However, I also had strong reservations about this guest due to his spooky profile pic.  I had a bad feeling about him, but I figured he was just going through some identity thing as he was only 19.  When he arived he seemed charming, but was not at all interested in being shown around and ignored advice I gave him on places to go.  This is fine, but for the fact that there are serious safety issues in regards to crime in our area and he was a walking target, so I was quite worried he would get robbed or raped and (he was very camp) and lay awake at night when he didn't come back before dark, wondering if I should find a way to tell his mother that he might be getting himself into trouble.

He kept his curtains drawn and was very secretive.  Sneeking in and locking the door every time.  I respected his privacy, but sometimes knocked on the door as the weather got colder and offered him soup, blankets and a hotwater bottle.

On top of all this we had a big problem with our phone and internet.  A fault on our line went un-fixed.  We have terrible services in SA and I was fighting with the only company that provides these services every day, begging them to come and fix our line.  Our guest was very amiable about this as I apologized to him on the airbnb messenging service.

Then one cold night I knocked on the door to bring him a bowl of soup and he told me that he had been robbed that day, and he was so distraught about it that he had booked a plane to leave the next day.  I invited him into our lounge, to offer council, more soup, perspective and to make closure.   It turned out that his robbery was very mild by SA standards - he had not been hurt and they had only taken some of his cash even though he was carrying his passport and all his cash on him.  He had also put himself in great danger by sitting on a bench in a park where no locals go as it is inhabited by thugs and addicts.

He agreed to come to a yoga class with me the next day to help calm down and prepare for the flight ahead.  He loved the yoga and afterwards changed his flight again as he wanted to spend a day in Amsterdam on the way home.  He then asked if he could stay another night and that we could take him to the airport the next day.  I said: "No problem.  You have already paid for the rest of the week."  He said>" It shouldn't be a problem, but we can discuss it."   Later he asked if he could have a refund.  I said we could do it through airbnb.  He then asked if we could do it directly as he needed it for Amsterdam.

I felt sorry for him and indicated that I might, but would think about it.  I needed to consult my husband who was out doing a gig.  He's a muso.  Then he went really weird and sulky on me.

I took him to get take aways because it was raining and he was feeling unsafe.  He came home and plonked himself down in our lounge and psyched me out while eating them, then left the packages and stomped off to his room.

The next morning it was still raining and he came knocking to borrow an umbrella.  I lent him a coat and he ran off.

I found out later that he had gone to complain to airbnb that I had not provided him with internet, which had caused him to be robbed.  In the meantime I had found out that the policy was that the guest should officially cancel if they wish for a refund.  So I wrote to him on the airbnb platform suggesting that he do this if he wished for a refund.

Then I got a call from airbnb which was an official inquiry as to why I had not provided internet.  I explained the situation and the consultant was very understanding.  I have a very good track record and superhost status.  I gave permission for her to give him a refund.

I confronted the guest about why he had taken this backhanded approach and basically lied to try and get his refund.

He left the room in a mess with a pile of filthy dishes.  Then wrote to me saying he would write me a positive review and hoped I would too.   He then denied ever asking for a cash refund on the online airbnb platform messaging system.

He has now threatened to sue me.  

I feel that this guy is getting away with being a total brat. 

I do not want to review him as I do not trust him and I do not want to be misrepresented as I am sure his review is not positive.

What support do I have if it is true that he has got a lawyer?

He told me that has been awarded a 100 dollar voucher by airbnb for his unfortunate experience.

 He only paid 450 dollars for his entire stay with me, and one week of this is being refunded.

I feel that I have been left with the short end of the stick and am quite put off hosting for a while.

Any advice?

17 Replies 17
Amaris0
Level 10
London, United Kingdom

 

My first thoughts are that if there is a safety issue in your area why is this not indicated in you listing description in order that guest can make an informed decision prior to booking. It would appear from your reviews that a lot of guests have had delightful stay in your accommodation. However from your comments, that particular groups or people are more of a target, It is your responsibility as the host and because you know your area best to find a way to communicate this in your listing. I note you have Instant booking as well, under the circumstances, I would suggests that a Request to Book approach is better suited as you can communicate with your quest prior to approval to find out a bit more about them and give them a better picture of your community, something you might not be able to fully / fairly cover in you listing. As it stand right now, another similar guest can book via IB without the need to contact you and arrive at your door only to be placed in danged due to lack of information; a guest’s photo is not sufficient to tell you much about a person.

 

Re the internet, you need to remove the amenity internet/ wireless internet available. Regardless of the reason you do not have internet at the moment, the fact remains that you do not have this facility to offer and it is unfair to guest who search for listing with this as one of their specific requirements only to arrive and find it is not available. You can add it back when you have the facility working again.

 

Re the guest going back to Airbnb to report you, I suspect you felt, you had developed a guest host relationship in which he might have felt comfortable talking to you. It would appear that was not the case for him and he is entitled to report back to Airbnb.

 

I'm also concerned about him being robbed. Apart from the obvious reason that being robbed would be an unpleasant and scary experience for anyone. I am also concerned because your message would suggest he was a likely target due to his appearance including ‘camp’ nature as you mentioned. There is a mental impact of being targeted for being different which might remain with him longer that the actual impact of being robbed and that to me is a very sad thing for anyone to have to deal with let alone a young 19 year old boy/man still trying to find himself.

 

It is nice that you tried to look out for him during his stay, providing soup, taking him to yoga etc. although I do feel the need to provide all this could have been avoided with a bit more clarity from you, from the onset.

 

Contact Airbnb, try to be brief and concise, stick to the facts only and inform them of his intention to engage the services of a solicitor and any concerns you may have.

 

Best wishes, Ama

Helen3
Level 10
Bristol, United Kingdom

Hello Helena

 

I have a slightly different take then @Amaris0 on this. Capetown in common with other major cities in South Africa does have a well known reputation for violence and as a host you gave him due warnings on safe and unsafe parts of the city which he ignored.

 

Yes it's unfortunate that he got mugged, but this can happen most major cities including London - I don't notice London hosts posting in their description that London is rife with pickpockets and muggers and that in certain parts if you appear to be lesbian and gay, Muslim or black you maybe more vulnerable to attck.

 

It's also the case in Africa as in other parts of the world where the internet is not as robust that internet access can be patchy.

 

He will be able to give you a review whether you leave one or not, so I would be factual and to the point but mention that he was messy and maybe better suited to a hotel environment.

 

I don't know on what basis BnB would have given him a hundred dollar refund or why indeed they would have given him a refund for the week he didn't stay (not sure of your cancellation policy).

Zandra0
Level 10
London, United Kingdom

The reason we don't give warnings is because London is NOT rife with pickpocketers or violent criminals.  I'm not sure what vision you have of London down there in Bristol but I can assure you it's not the one you appear to have in your head.

 

I have lived in London all my life; I have never been a victim of violent crime, nor do I worry that my guests will be.

 

South Africa clearly is a different kettle of fish.  If you lie awake wondering if someone might have been raped, or robbed then this is a major security concern.  If you make comments like: 'he was a victim of crime but not something we consider too serious', then that is a major security concern.  And yes, there should be a warning in the listing.

 

Please, please do not lump London in with this type of thing, you're comparing chalk and cheese.

Marcia48
Level 2
Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

I am sorry but this makes no sense at all. Should I inform my guests that Rio de Janeiro is not a safe city? Are we hosts or babysitters?

Helen3
Level 10
Bristol, United Kingdom

Zandra - I was being sardonic. I was pointing out that most major cities have these issues - yet hosts don't feel the need to point this out as it is part and parcel of city life.

 

Please don't assume that I don't know the city I was born and brought up in. Look at the crime statistics. London is a city that attacts pickpockets. On street mobile phone thefts and assaults are also common particularly in areas such as Piccadilly Circus, Oxford Street, tube and train stations. There is also increasing violent crime associated with the drugs trade, prostitution and sexual assaults.

 

I've lived in Bristol for less than a year. 

 

I lived in a wealthy part of South West London and my son and his friends and younger family members were mugged for mobile phone on more than one ocassion and have been attacked on nights out.

 

I had my home broken into twice.

 

 This doesn't mean it is not a safe city, just that is part of life in major cities.

@Helen3

I agree with you and @Marcia48 about the general safety of a certain location. It is up to the individual to determine whether or not they want to travel to a specific country/city and the guest's responsibility to do their homework. 

 

@Amaris according to your logic, that would mean U.S. hosts in Chicago or New Orleans or Detroit should be posting warnings about risk of gun violence. 

And maybe all countries around the world should issue blanket travel bans to their citizens for dangerous countries? 

 

https://www.afr.com/lifestyle/travel/the-20-most-dangerous-countries-in-the-world-for-tourists-20170...

 

I think @Helena23 was exceptionally considerate and caring to worry about the guest and to have made the extra effort trying to help him understand he had to be vigilant. It's not her fault the guest was an immature idiot. And I do not think you have to worry about him trying to sue you. He does not have money for a lawyer - he tried to get a cash refund for money to spend in Amsterdam. That says a lot. He's just a punk trying to take advantage of your kindness and next time I hope you will trust your gut and steer away from those types 🙂 

I think travellers should heed the information given by their own embassy, and the responsibility should not lie on the host.

 

American travellers have the US Department of State which gives Country Information to refer to and a section on ' Safety and Security' including a debrief on visitors to South Africa.

Helena23
Level 2
Cape Town, South Africa

It is true that there is a high crime rate in SA.  This does not mean that we are all constantly under attack. We do have to be vigilant and take precautions.  Not carry valuables on us if walking in lonely places or even in public unless in a group etc.

 Tourists look vulnerable and are soft targets anywhere in the world if they are wondering around with expensive gadgets and a lost look of wonder about them.  This is why I have to guide them in the right directions.  This guest was more interested in exploring the darker places where the low life hangs out.  He was also experimenting with illegal substances, which is what made he even more vulnerable.

Helena23
Level 2
Cape Town, South Africa

Hi Ama

Just to clarify I was perfectly honest in my listing saying that I have wifi, it was only just when this guest arrived that something happened to our line.  In SA there are many stories of people waiting up to 2 months for their services to be repaired.  It was just unfortunate that it happened when he came.  We had discussed it and he seemed to be getting on alright without internet until the weather got bad.  It was beyond my control and it would have been to late to remove this from the listing during his stay as i was hoping every day that they would come and fix the fault.  Secondly our area is just as unsafe as any area in the country.  Crime is a fact of life here.  No other airbnb hosts in our area warn guests that it is a serious risk to walk around carrying flashy expensive camera's etc.  I warn them all when they come to act street wise and be sensible.  Most are warned at the tourist information centres as well.

Thirdly I was not being discrimatory towards him by mentioning that he was camp.  That is another risk factor, which made me worry about him.  We did our best to comfort him after his robbery.

 

Gerry-And-Rashid0
Level 10
London, United Kingdom

Unfortunately you got a bad, or perhaps more fairly an immature apple - and  you also ended up being his parent while he was there. 

 

Threatening to sue is just a bluff and I would stop any future conversation with him.

 

I would review him fairly and accurately (but keep it brief) - and would not worry about what sort of review he provides as I think people will see through it. And of course you can reply publicly to any review he posts.

Thank you for your understanding response.

I am interested to know whether his review would appear if I don't write a review.

 I have been infuriated by him because I found him to be very rude and disrespectful despite my efforts to look after him and make up for no internet by offering free excursions to places he could not get to on public transport etc.  He has since organised a further adjustment to my account where he managed to organize-possibly with the help of a lawyer, a further reduction of 50 percent of the nights spent (3 weeks).  This was apparantly due to my not having provided internet as well as some "cleanliness issue" which had been "documented".  I am extremely meticulous about cleaning the room for my guests, however I am by this stage aware that the boy is prepared to bend the truth to any degree to get what he wants and there was no way of disputing this with the airbnb person who notified me of the adjustment.

I guess I have terrified other respondants to this feed regarding the crime factor in SA.  It may not be as bad as I have made it sound, I am extremely cautious.  I was particularly worried about him because there was something about him that made him seem vulnerable and my instincts were right.  So it was frustrating.

 

Hi @Helena23, If only one of you writes a review it becomes public 14 days after the booking ended.  Within the 14 days, if both of you review, the reviews become public simultaneously.  Please do make sure to review him.  Is it too late to ask airbnb to find him a different place to stay (assuming his stay has not ended)?  I'm sorry you have had such a bad experience.  Given the reduction in the payment to you, Airbnb should provide you with the specifics of the cleanliness issue so you can address it for future guests.

Helena23
Level 2
Cape Town, South Africa

Thanks for your empathy.  Yes the guest left a week ago.  So he got a refund on the last week of his stay and then organized legal help to squeeze the extra 50 percent off the 3 week stay that he had already spent.  He left the room a mess but complained of a cleanliness issue.  I would like to know what it was, but I actually am quite sure that he had invented it as a way to get revenge on me as he had a personal vendetta after I gently confronted him about being so underhanded in his dealings.  If he had wanted a refund in the first place he could have just made a cancellation and he would have got a refund.  Instead he went behind my back and had a special investigation put out on me.  Thanks for the advice regarding the review.  I will write an accurate and un-emotional review on my experience of this guest.  If his review is bad and misrepresentative -I hope I do not loose superhost status, but if I do, so be it, as there are 19 excellent reviews to stand against the one.

wanting refund for getting robbed out on the street is absolutely ridiculous. what next? people will want refund if they have an accident during their trip? oh, the weather was too hot so i want my money back? or, it was raining the whole week, i want my money back? or, i broke up with my partner during our stay so i want my money back? seriously?