A sexual advance from a guest ?

[Johnathan31]

Hi, so I had guest who ask me via Grindr if I wanted to perform oral sex on him. I declined. In retaliation he left a real nasty review. I sent him a message after the review and said he needed to grow up. He shot back by saying that he had reported me for harassing him because he wrote a bad review- what can I do? 

[Kate867]

@Johnathan31   This really is unfortunate and I fully understand your discomfort.  It would seem as though some if not all this communication was not on the Airbnb platform though.   Airbnb do not recognise and take ‘off platform’ messages into account when arbitrating any disputes or complaints.   There is nothing to stop you messaging customer support and letting them know what has happened but I suspect that apart from some ‘flowery platitudes’ nothing can or will be done.  In the future make sure that all communication stays on Airbnb Messages and refuse to engage with guests any other way if things start heading south.

[Anonymous]

@Johnathan31  You can block the guest from contacting you further or booking your room again - https://www.airbnb.com/help/article/2020/how-do-i-report-a-message-or-block-someone-on-airbnb

But the review from J*****, while unflattering, doesn't appear to violate any terms of the review policy. I don't think his "report" of harassment will go anywhere, and there's no action that's necessary for you to take on that. But you shouldn't have written that personal message to him just because you didn't like the review. That is unprofessional and accomplishes nothing.

About the guest's advances on Grindr...well, the problem is that while that kind of communication would have been totally inappropriate in most contexts, it is completely within the norms of the hookup app that you both happened to be logged into. In the future, if you notice a user appearing on the grid that you want to avoid sexually-charged situations with, you're probably best off blocking them or ignoring messages. Unwanted advances from a homestay guests are always awkward, but when you're sharing an intimate living space it's unavoidable that the quality of your relationship with your guests will impact their review.

One thing I noticed from your response is that you allowed the guest to entertain several visitors (Grindr dates, perhaps?) in your home. I strongly recommend that you stop allowing this. It exposes you to a lot of unnecessary risk, and it sends guests the message that you have no boundaries whatsoever. If you set a firm rule that no unregistered guests may enter the home, perhaps you can avoid attracting the guests who think "LGBTQ friendly" means your house is a hookup hacienda.

[Helen3]

Why did you leave the guest such a positive review @Johnathan31 

[Johnathan31]

When he left he was all peaches and cream- this is why I was so upset by his review. I can manage a bad review, but not a bad review when they tell you to your face that everything is perfect and they are so glad to have found this place. That is why I was upset, but yes you are correct I should not have messaged him. In terms of Grindr- he made the advance on the last night and I did actually ignore the message. It wasn’t until 3 days after his stay that he wrote the review. I cannot say for sure whether or not his guests were from Grindr- i didn’t realize he was on Grindr until the last night. When he left he was happy (or so I thought) that is the thing that bothered me. I was happy to overlook the advance- because I figured “no harm, no foul”. 

[Anonymous]

@Johnathan31  Putting aside the context of the guest feeling rejected for his prurient advance, were his comments in the review truly wrong or unreasonable? His complaints boiled down to:

a)  the full nature of the living situations, including number of residents in the home, wasn't previously disclosed

b) he found the room too cluttered with personal stuff (I think it looks cute and quirky, but I see the point)

c) there was a lot more demand for the shared bathroom than expected, which might have compromised the cleanliness at times

d) supposedly he thought the listing advertised a digital lock, though I'm not seeing that.

I don't know how honest these complaints are, but what they have in common is that they're not things guests have good reason to discuss with you during the stay. Guests aren't in any position to ask you to evict your roommates, redesign your room, or add an extra bathroom, so these are the kinds of problems people do keep to themselves until they're reviewing. Even if you had taken the guest up on his Grindr proposition, he might have left the same review in the end.

I have nothing nice to say about guests who feel entitled to bring a procession of strangers into their host's living space will-nilly, but some of this feedback might actually have some value in refining your listing descriptions. Or it might be a reminder to vet your guests more carefully and weed out the ones whose needs aren't a good fit.

[David8879]

"I am busy for 14 days after the date of your checkout"