A host started to make discriminatory comments and demands based on my race and gender

[Ikuyasu0]

My host is a bit of issue first of all. She is a wife of married couple who broke up a month after my long-term stay of several months started. She took over the Airbnb account management after the husband left the house. 

After a month later, she started making up a new set of house rules that also change and get added very often, and demands us to follow. Now she demands me to make accommodation for a new "female" guest who is coming this week, and I as a "male" have to accommodate for the new guest and her. She also threatens to report to Airbnb and charge a fee if I "violate" the new rules. She also claims that I have to adopt a certain habit written in this new rules because that's something I, as an Asian male, often dismiss.

1) What does Airbnb consider as a possible discriminatory behavior that should trigger to sent her a "warning"? 

2) Should I ask Airbnb to warn her of her behavior or should I tell her that it can be considered a possible gender discriminatory treatment that I may need to report?  I hesitate to do this because I still  have several month of stays booked, and want to avoid the confrontation.

3) Should I contact her (ex-?) husband to tell her that she has to stick to the house rules I agreed on when the room was booked?  He was the contact person and managed the Airbnb account until she took it over.

I will be happy to complete the rest of months reserved if she stops doing this because I don't think she behaves like this with ill-intension. But she has to realize that it really makes me as a guest feel uncomfortable. I have a set of her text messages that support my claim and can be submitted upon request by Airbnb help center. 

Thank you for your advice 😀

[Sarah977]

@Ikuyasu0 Some hosts just don't "get it". She doesn't understand the role of a host and shouldn't be in the hospitality business. Her behavior will catch up with her in the form of unflattering reviews or reports to Airbnb.

[Ikuyasu0]

But you know, I don't want to tell her "hey, you should behave well, otherwise I can tell Airbnb this information and this information, and submit this official document of your behavior of last 3 months from the local **l**e that I believe will put you out of the Airbnb business, and I know this is your only income source after you and your husband split." I just hope she "gets it" in a differently way from how you used. She has no leverage over me as a Airbnb guest, but she behaves like she does. 

[Ikuyasu0]

Oh, no no no. Your interpretation is not correct probably because I fail to explain well. It's not a problem of how many guests or having my guest over or anything like you are saying. 

Although their only two house rules was how to deal with their pet when they are out of cage and to keep the quiet environment, I don't have/cause any problem with rules that Airbnb hosts typically complain for their guest such as smoking, partying and so no. 

So, her occasional "erratic" behavior violates one of the house rules.  And I have been even tolerate for her "erratic" behavior unless it is not at night and early morning.  You can kind of imagine what she needs to go through in the process of splitting with her husband (talking to lawyer, parents, paper works, financial matters etc) who was the main income earner of the household while she has been unemployed. 

[Quincy]

Hi there @Ikuyasu0, I hope you're well. I wanted to let you know that I have now passed this on to the team!

[Ikuyasu0]

Ok. thank you. As somebody mentions, I wonder if the reviews are even legitimate when somebody else is doing the host. Before the husband who was in charge of the host left, things were very good, and I totally agree with the good reviews they have gotten.

[Anonymous]

@Ikuyasu0  One thing a host can not do is charge an arbitrary fine for breaking a rule. This is a hollow threat. If your living situation is intolerable because of the host's behavior, your best recourse is to cut the booking short and move elsewhere. Your booking falls under the Long Term cancellation policy, which involves a notice period, but due to the exceptional circumstances you can ask Airbnb to waive this so that you can be refunded for the unused portion of the stay. 

If both you and the host are grasping for leverage, the relationship has probably deteriorated to the point that there's no other option that makes any sense. Whether the hosts' remarks constitute discrimination is kind of beside the real point, which is that you are not happy in this environment and would be better off elsewhere.

[Ikuyasu0]

Agree. I am looking for a place to move, but I have things to do "every day" that keeps me busy all day. That's why I am using the long-term stay essentially, you know. I think I will have a very easy time to ask Airbnb to process cancellation and refund. I don't have an issue with it, but the issue is to find a place to move to continue my every day work. But thank you for the suggestion.