Blurry boundaries on ABB stays

[Laura2592]

I view my own experiences as a guest as follows:  I am staying in an Airbnb that is a home belonging to someone else. It often is unique or has different features from a hotel. I might choose it for the decor or particular location or amenities. I might also decide I would rather stay in a hotel in the area if I want room service or a spa.  I enjoy my stays as a temporary respite from my normal life and move on. 

Some guests don't seem to have this perspective. They see my Airbnb space as something they own temporarily. They make changes (a recent guest re-potted and pruned several plants, others move furnishings, etc.) They ask for hyper-specific amenities or even major purchases to "make them comfortable." (Not possible but geez why even ask?) The boundary between "temporary vacation spot" and "my own home I have purchased" is very blurry. I don't think the advertising ABB does helps this, either.  Some guests seem to want to fantasize that for their nightly fee they DO own a weekend place. I find this can be worryingly true of return guests. 

So how do you personally navigate this? I don't want to be gauche and say "Hey you REALLY DON"T pay this mortgage nor did you pony up for the downpayment or maintenance so take it down a notch" but beyond asking nicely and putting things in house rules it is pretty difficult to get some guests to understand the reality of this exchange. You want people to relax and feel comfortable but not SO comfortable they start asking you to change the paint colors to their liking. Any thoughts?

[Anonymous]

@Laura2592  The company's main motto has long been "Belong Anywhere."  But every time I see another press release or interview from the execs, the recurrent phrase that really stands out is "live anywhere." It's not the motto, but the messaging here is much more than subliminal: when you rent an Airbnb, even for just a night, you're not just staying there; you get to live there.

This also ties right back to the points raised by @Christine615 's thread about the current ad campaign, which has totally decoupled Airbnb stays from travel and made them look like moving into a new home. Why wouldn't you rearrange the furniture, do some hobby gardening, invite some friends over, throw a party - it's all part of the experience they seem to be selling.  I think there's a place for a category of stay in which the home and property is a self-contained destination/experience - and that would have been especially relevant during the lockdowns. But this branding is not appropriate for hosts who only intended to offer tourist accommodation.

[Laura2592]

@Anonymous  I totally agree. I think this plays out in the erosion of ownership rights to one's own property. You can't cancel stays without penalty unless the place is literally dangerous or you have medical documentation that you are incapacitated. (Really?) Support is nowhere to be found when a party is going on. Damage? Well, we all know how those claims tend to go. Want to sell your space? These bookings are not your commodity to trade. They disappear (until such time as ABB can figure out a way to monetize them so that they get a cut of your transaction says cynical me.) There is this insidious creep from finding a cool alternative accommodation to allowing a stranger to move into your home without even the protection of a lease. Look at how ABB pushes "allow longer stays." There is a mechanism for that and it's called being a landlord. You don't really need a go-between corporation to "help" you. Trust me on this.

Airbnb seems to encourage  this fantasy of owning a prime vacation spot for the price of a few nights. On a micro level I need to find a way to push politely back on this sentiment with some of my guests.  Its really not okay to re-pot my plants who were doing just fine. And seriously, do I need to put that in the house rules?

[Ted307]

@Laura2592 I have had guests who moved things around. I took this as a suggestion, one of which I accepted. Most of the things moved were in the kitchen! I moved them back. I left the pillow in the bedroom rocker. Maybe a pillow is good there. No problem. I have been the renter in the past, when we moved things, we put them back exactly -- not wanting to offend the host.

[Laura2592]

@Ted307  small things like pillows and blankets don't bother me at all. Switching where the sofa is with the dining table, taking all lamps out of the bedrooms and putting them in a row in the living room, pulling both standing mirrors out of the bedroom and putting them in the laundry room, etc are annoying as some of that stuff is heavy or awkward to put back. If a guest moves furniture, they should return it to where it was. They can also scratch floors and walls with their redecorating.

[Ted307]

Once as renters, we rented a very nice place with no TV. We brought our own TV, and did arrange some living room furniture to make it fit. But, replaced it, and never would we damage the floor! I learned a lot from the host of that property, she lived right next door and we had some nice chats in the week we stayed there. I now have a set-up much like hers, and I did copy some of her info from her listing. As travelers we have always preferred to stay in Bed&Breakfasts, long before this site existed.

Once, we stayed in a lovely BnB in Bath, in 1998, that is a favorite memory to this day. The English Breakfast, with tomatoes, sausage, eggs, was very much the high point of our visit. I am sorry that AirBnB has pretty much ended that era. I do not serve breakfast, our space is completely separate,  and the guests mostly do not want to visit with us, much less eat breakfast with us.

[Laura2592]

@Ted307  as long as the host specifically okays your arrangement I am sure its fine. 

I find when I talk about moving furniture on this forum there is always someone who chimes in and says "I did that and it was okay! No one knew." I am here to say that I can absolutely always tell when someone has moved large furnishings in our space even if they put them back. And yes, sometimes there is damage that guests don't notice, particularly as our main living/dining/kitchen space has white walls. We tell guests in our check-in instructions that we don't allow furnishings to be moved.  But some do anyway. And that is just not okay.

[Kelly149]

@Laura2592 Yep, and they think we’re “getting rich” off this endeavor bc they see their total without being able to take into account all the ways that total got divvied up. 
It’s exhausting. 

[Kitty-and-Creek0]

@Laura2592 

Being an Airbnb guest is definitely more complicated than staying in a hotel. I think it takes a special person to be a guest of ours, and appreciate that. They are trusting us with their experience, safety, comfort, goals. That is pretty special, imho! I always have preferred home stays, for all my many years of travel. As a guest, I feel responsible to take proper care of my host's home and things, to fit in with their culture. When I've been in a whole home rental, that is even more of a responsibility as a guest. In short, our guests are special folk, and as hosts, we take on a lot when we accept them into our homes.  I'd have issues like you, if guests started "remodeling" - doing more than moving a few chairs in the place, relocating artwork or reorganizing the library. The guest wing is part of my house and they know that they are here for the experience I offer to them. In past, guests have done a bit of rearranging that I actually loved and kept. I've not had the experience of entitled guests except once, and they broke house rules. They were when I tried IB - an option better for hotels, where rooms are uniform and the on the ground situation is easier to control? - and found that it was not for me. I am clear about my being present at all times during a guest stay. This is not only practical but required by the terms of my legal permit. I find that personal communication prior to arrival is key, managing guests' questions and expectations ahead of time. So, as always it is case by case. A dance! 

[Ted307]

As guests, we sometimes offered to do some small maintenance chores for absent hosts. They were most grateful, but we sent a message offering first. We often used to rent for a couple of weeks at a time on vacation, and my husband is a constant "putterer" -- he can not stand a door that is not closing properly, weeds in the yard, lawns crying out to be mowed. Even on vacation -- or now, retired, he works every day. So, we got our own AirBnB!

[Ann72]

@Laura2592  Ugh that's soooo annoying.  Like @Kitty-and-Creek0 I haven't really had this issue and I think it's because as @Anonymous notes I offer tourist accommodation - pretty much everyone is coming to "get away" and as a result they don't undertake any domestic duties.  I also push my rates as high as they can go and this has the odd (to me) effect of making guests believe they are paying to have everything taken care of.  Then they spend the whole time cooking and tidying up after themselves.  Go figure.

I do get a "tone" from certain guests - the kind of tone certain people take when they're speaking to the help - and though I don't say anything, in my mind I'm like, "Wait, which one of us owns the vacation home and which one of us is renting because they don't own one?  Hmmmm..."

I feel like we could channel Alexis and put them in their place:

[Cathie19]

Oh @Ann72 , I love that image! My daughter can put that same face on in two ways….

leaving you guessing, or cutting you to the quick.

[Ann72]

Ha!  She sounds brilliant @Cathie19 

[Cathie19]

@Ann72 .

She actually is, in more ways than one! 
Smart, attractive, quick witted, generous and compassionate but definitely doesn’t suffer idiots…. I wonder where she got that from?  Bahahaha…. (Must be dad!)

[Lisa723]

@Laura2592 pruning and repotting your plants? Have you been hosting my mother? 😉

Seriously, this kind of thing just has not happened to us. Maybe because like @Ann72's our places are traditional-style vacation rentals and people come solely as tourists.