Chinese toilet traditions?

[Melanie983]

I have just taken in a chinese guest. I am not in the flat all the time and I am a bit taken aback by some of the things he has done in my absence.

Firstly he has put a fabric toilet cover on my toilet seat. He says this is more hygienic. I think fabric is disgusting. Is this a normal thing in China? He also says that in China used toilet paper goes in the bin next to the toilet- I said it must be flushed in the toilet! Is this normal? 

Also he has absolutely filled the kitchen with his things. More than logic dictates. When I said what my rules were he seemed surprised that he couldn’t just do things his way. Is this again, a cultural thing? 

[Lorna170]

@Melanie983   I cannot comment on the fabric toilet seat cover, but due to the limitations of waste systems in many countries, placing the used toilet paper in a bin and not flushing it away is a standard practice; it does not surprise me that this guest is using the bin.   I was just in the Caribbean, and the number of public places that I visited where the toilets and drains had been stopped up by foreign guests who insisted on flushing paper was astonishing ... the instructions were clearly written in several languages in the cubicles.  

With respect to the kitchen, who knows.  If he is cooking for himself he may just be careless...my son and son-in-law can make a kitchen look like a tornado has come through, and they just don't see it!

[M199]

@Melanie983

I agree with @Lorna170 completely.  We also use a septic system and excess toilet paper can play havoc on the system.  As well, they are expensive to maintain if something gets plugged.  We actually post a notice that only toilet paper may be flushed, nothing else!

With regards to the fabric seat cover, why not purchase those disposable paper/tissue toilet seat covers you can find in some places.  That should  hopefully, address the seat hygiene concern.

[Melanie983]

Paper toilet seat covers may be the answer.  However he did say it was partly not to be cold? 

Where I am it is completely normal to flush toilet paper but I realise not for everyone.

It was more that he seemed to think the whole flat was his and he could do what he liked - I wondered if that was cultural ~ with Indian guests for example they have been very polite and always asked. 

[Sarah977]

@Melanie983  "It was more that he seemed to think the whole flat was his and he could do what he liked".

You offer full kitchen and living room access. You can't then be miffed that a guest takes you up on that. 

What you need to do is to sit down with this guest over a cup of tea and have a chat with him about the expectations when home-sharing, as well as how things work differently in your culture and location than in his.

Tell him that the sewer system and house plumbing where you live is built to handle flushing toilet paper and that is what everyone does and what you would like him to please do. Say you realize that it may seem strange to him, and take awhile to get used to, just as it would seem strange to you to put the paper in the basket if you went to his country, but that you would have to adjust your habits to a different culture.

Explain that you are sharing your home with him and that he needs to respect that it isn't okay to cover the kitchen with his own stuff- that you need to be able to also use your kitchen. Arrange a place where he can store his own kitchen gear- i.e. one of the cupboards that is for him. And if he has redundant things that you already have, like a blender, or cooking utensils, he should box those things up and store them in his room- it isn't necessary for the kitchen to be cluttered up with 2 of everything when guests are allowed to use yours. 

And if he isn't cleaning up after himself in the kitchen, make sure to let him know that is necessary- that you are his host, not his personal maid.

Hopefully you can work things out with him with a bit of friendly explanation, as long as there isn't a huge language barrier.

[Melanie983]

Hi - of course I’ve given him access and am not remotely miffed about that-  but not 100 percent take over rights!! And I have already talked to him, but will do again. 

no one has been able to answer my original query about the loo seat cover though - never seen one before! Anyway thanks

[Sarah977]

@Melanie983  I've never heard of the loo seat cover. What I've mostly read about hosting Chinese as regards bathrooms is that they tend to flood the bathroom with water and don't know how to use a shower curtain, because their bathrooms are wet rooms- all concrete and tile, with a drain in the floor, so they are unfamiliar with the concept of their being a wooden subfloor under the bathroom tile, which will get soaked and rot if the entire floor is flooded.

If his toilet seat concern is supposedly hygiene, that doesn't make sense to me. Cloth is going to be contaminated far more easily than wiping down the toilet seat with a Lysol or bleach wipe.  Maybe you should provide him with a container of those. At least you have a clean guest, that's  a whole lot better than a dirty one. 

If his concern is sitting down on a cold toilet seat because he has a sensitive tush, I guess let him put his cover on when he uses the toilet, and then remove it when he's done- I can certainly understand you not wanting to sit on it, nor should you have to.

I assume he is booked to stay for awhile.