Cleanliness 2 stars. So I ask the guest what the problem was... sit down for this one.

[Kevin1322]

got a  2 star rating for "cleanliness".

So I message the guest to ask what the problem was.

Them " wood floors were not shiny"

Me: They are not wood, they are porcelain tiles.

Guest "they should be shiny"

Me: They are R12 rated non-slip tiles.  Non slip tiles aren't shiny.  Flattered that you thought they were wood, but they don't shine up. We bleach them daily. That is the point. The clue is non-slip. For grip. So you don't slip on them. 

Guest "you should have warned us, we could have dropped our phones and broken them"

Me: My tiles?

Them: "no, our phones"

This is what we are dealing with in 2021.  

You have to laugh or else you cry  🤣

The Endless Mirth of hosting.

[Ann72]

@John1902 

"There are no degrees of brilliance just degrees of shame."

Perfectly sums it up!

[Kevin1322]

yes, spot on.

[Kevin1322]

It's hard work in't it,  John. 

I wish Airbnb would explain their review system in a transparent way understandable to guests.

[Brian2036]

@Kevin1322 :

This reminds me of a Thermodynamics professor I had who stated, “The only way I give an A in this course is if you know more than I do.”

Ummm…if I knew more than you do why would I take this course?

Personally I don’t see any point in trying to be a Superhost. It just increases your stress level and subjects you to additional criticism or worse.

[Laura2592]

@Kevin1322 you HAVE to be getting some of my guests! LOL. I am so sorry. 

@Ann72 mentioning insects at our place is my favorite-- we named it "Firefly Cottage." I feel like saying "do you understand what a firefly is?" Happens all the time. People see bugs. OUTSIDE! One suggested we screen in the front porch. How ugly would that be?

Luckily no one saw when the neighbor caught a 5 foot long black snake that had been eating their chicken eggs. He has been relocated from his favorite spot wrapped around a branch in our walnut tree 🙂

[Colleen253]

 @Laura2592 @Ann72 @Kevin1322 It seems we are all in the same boat😩This special type of guest can now be recognized as a common species, found in many parts of the world.

[Laura2592]

@Colleen253 can we relocate this species to a better spot? Like my snake? He is happy in a forest 10 miles away. Perhaps this population can be humanely removed to a hotel chain in the area?

[Colleen253]

Sign me up for Team Relocation!! @Laura2592 

[Ann72]

Love the snake story @Laura2592!

[Laura2592]

@Ann72 I have pictures! The neighbor has a 3 year old and they trapped him. We called him Barry. He would fall out of the tree with a thump and slither into the flowers. I thought it was really cool. I was waiting for a guest request for a refund if they saw it....just knew that was coming. But I got lucky.

[Alexandra316]

@Colleen253 @Laura2592 @Ann72 Maybe we could send them to The Island of Demanding Guests, and they can drive each other crazy with their incessant whining about matte tiles, snakes, bugs (on a remote island), seasonal temperatures, too much sea, not enough sea... you name it, they will moan about it. 

[Ann72]

@Alexandra316 @Kevin1322 @Louise0 @Linda108 @Colleen253 @Laura2592  And then there are the location-whiners.  I'm going to add the closest Starbucks to my listing and note that it will only take 14 hours and 41 minutes to walk there.

[Judy790]

One woman asked me where the closest sushi bar is.  Note that our place is in Northern Michigan on a secluded lake.  I told her she could catch her own sushi.

She dinged me for "Host Communication".  Some people just can't take a joke.

[Inna22]

@Alexandra316  you have not heard? The island is no longer accepting new arrivals. They are saying that the new waive of immigration is too demanding even for them. I send a few of mine there and they came right back. They booked with a different name and profile but I recognized them as soon as the messages started to come in

[Alexandra316]

@Inna22 😀😂🤣

That would certainly explain a lot of the entitled behaviour lately. They need to expand ASAP!