Cleanliness 2 stars. So I ask the guest what the problem was... sit down for this one.

[Kevin1322]

got a  2 star rating for "cleanliness".

So I message the guest to ask what the problem was.

Them " wood floors were not shiny"

Me: They are not wood, they are porcelain tiles.

Guest "they should be shiny"

Me: They are R12 rated non-slip tiles.  Non slip tiles aren't shiny.  Flattered that you thought they were wood, but they don't shine up. We bleach them daily. That is the point. The clue is non-slip. For grip. So you don't slip on them. 

Guest "you should have warned us, we could have dropped our phones and broken them"

Me: My tiles?

Them: "no, our phones"

This is what we are dealing with in 2021.  

You have to laugh or else you cry  🤣

The Endless Mirth of hosting.

[Laura2592]

Guest: Is there poison ivy in the woods behind your cottage?

Me: Yes, I am sure there is. We don't go back there too often as its not our property,  but its typical in the area. Our property line is at the fence. We don't landscape beyond that.

Two days later.

Guest: I have a rash. (Sends pic). Do you think this could be poison ivy?

Me: I am not a doctor but it looks like it to me. 

Guest: Oh. Okay. I went back in the woods behind the cottage to see if I could find any but I don't really know what it looks like.  I wandered around there for a while. 

Me: Looks like you found it! The nearest pharmacy is X miles away. They should have some calamine lotion. Please strip the beds before you leave and I will alert the cleaners. Sometimes the oil can still be active on surfaces so I will make sure they have gloves.

Review-- Nice, but private feedback "Cut poison ivy down in the woods in case someone wants to go back there."

It is Not. Our. Property.

WHO GOES LOOKING FOR POISON IVY???

[Brian2036]

@Laura2592 :

Obviously people who don’t know what it looks like and want to learn but are too lazy to use Google.

You should probably inspect your neighbors’ property thoroughly for any other hazards. And provide handicapped access.

 I would be tempted to make a sign pointing to a clump of poison ivy and label it “TOILET PAPER.”

Another reason I prefer not to host children: on a forest property they will certainly find something ignorant to do and it will be all your fault.

One guest took her 12 year old to the emergency room (an hour away) because she thought he had been bitten by an ant.

Another time a kid came rampaging out of the car (he’s a little hyper after the long drive, isn’t it cute) immediately heads for the separate garage which is OFF LIMITS, and before I had ushered the parents into the house he started shrieking, “Look, Mom! A beehive! Ima get me some honey!”

 I don’t raise bees.

It was a hornets’ nest…and he had already found a stick to poke it with.

What to do, what to do…