Gift from guests - where have they gone?

[Ben205]

When we started hosting a year ago, one of the first posts I read on here was a thread about crazy gifts guests had left their hosts. Gifts from guests? Sounds cool. And yes, we got plenty (mustard from Frankfurt, stroopwafels from Holland) and lovely cards to thank us.

But since Christmas, nothing! I'm not complaining, can't expect delicious regional specialities every visit. But I was wondering if this is indicative of a change in ABB guests? I'd like to think we're still giving the same good service (reviews suggest we are).

So, maybe it's a different type of traveller at this time of year? Or perhaps ABB guests have stopped feeling they need to show gratitude to their host for sharing their house (after all, they pay good money)?

What do you think?

[Rebecca181]

@Ben205 I am relatively new to the hosting platform (been on ABB since last May, over 90 guests, made Super Host my first month); however, even in this past year I have seen a subtle shift with guests that I attribute to a sense of 'entitlement' ABB is promoting via its obviously 'guest-centric' policies. Prices are constantly and intentionally being driven down yet we hosts are expected to provide more and more (to be paid for who-knows-how). I see this sense of entitlement most in the Millenial generation, but that's another story for another time (saw this as a Graduate Professor as well). 

My most appreciative guests are invariably in their 50's. Not sure why, but that's my observation. I think that as ABB attempts to morph all of us into being 'hotel-like' / 'Airbnb Plus-like', versus owners sharing their homes with paying travelers / vacationers, it will only be getting worse. Perhaps we are being driven to a place of just feeling lucky we are being paid anything at all. Owners / Hosts with premium properties have more options of where to list, of course, so some may simply focus on other listing site opportunities. In short, the community-spirit seems to be fading as ABB grows. 

The only constant is change...

[Vinay7]

Hi @Ben205, thanks for this conversation. I hadn't given too much thought into receiving gifts.

One of our Canadian guests had given my mom a special tea as gift coz my mom had shown concern while she was ill. 

Also we had a couple who stayed with us for about a week and a half. They had left a book, sweets and a thank you note! 

Its always nice to receive gifts. But I would go expecting every guest to leave us gifts. 

BTW I always ensure that I leave chocolates in the room for our guests. 🙂

[Sarah977]

@Rebecca181  I so agree about the sense of entitlement of the millenials. My 35 year old daughter was visiting and staying with me for a couple of weeks, when she had a friend contact her who was also visiting in the area. My daughter asked if her friend could come and stay for a couple of nights, to which I said of course, even though I also had a friend visiting, so there were 4 of us in a small house. 

Her friend, who was 38 years old, was bedded down on a spare foamy, given clean sheets and towels, offered coffee in the morning before she went off to town and the beach, and offered dinner the second night (she went off to eat in town the first night with my daughter). This girl (I hesitate to call her a woman, since her behavior was what I expect of a 15 year old) plugged in all her devices to my electricity, took long hot showers, sat for hours online arranging her work schedule (she cooks on yachts for rich folk and makes really good $), yet in spite of going into town twice while she was here, never thought to bring back a bottle of wine or a six-pack of beer, a dessert for all to share, or a even a small bag of groceries, or even to ask if there was anything she could do around the place to help out. I was left with her dirty sheets and towels to wash, and she made off with my $25 USB cube that she had been given to use (No, I'm sure she didn't steal it, she just thoughtlessly threw it in her bag with the rest of her electronics).

After she left, I had a conversation with my daughter regarding her friend's lack of visible appreciation for being given a free place to stay for 2 days and nights in an expensive tourist town in the middle of high season. My daughter said she thought I was being totally unreasonable and that I shouldn't expect anything from someone to whom I have offered my hospitality. So her view was exactly like her friend's and I can assure you I didn't raise her to think like that, and that her 2 older sisters definitely would not hold the same view, nor would they dream of taking advantage of someone's hospitality without offering something to show their appreciation.

[J-Renato0]

I was given few gifts (presents), but it was when the guests arrived, at the moment of checkin.

I think it had nothing with gratitude. I think guests wanted to socialize or just be friendly. Some gifts I remember now are like the following.
A couple form Geneve, Switzerland gave us (To I and my wife) a box of chocolate. A guest from Southampton that has been many times in Rio always gave me some calendars with pictures... I had a long term guest that was from Birmingham. She gave me an small pack with tea from England. A frenchman from Nantes gave me a tipycal sweet from his home town. The last one it was a guest from Brazil, that gave me a cheese and a jar of sweet from the state he is from.
In terms of stats, Eurapean are the champions in terms of gifts and courtesy. Anyway I agree that guests that bring presents are getting rare.

I also think that, guests are not supposed to give gifts.

As for giving gifts, I still give, but it depends on the nationality and culture. Guests from some countries loves gifts such as a box of chocolate, while from other countries are very indifferent or it seems they do not like presents. It is a kind of sensitive matter.

[J-Renato0]

Sorry, I will have to reconsider what I have said above.
I think the era of the gifts are back !

Forget to say, last week I was given the most strange gif I ever seen! I found it after guest's checkout. My last north american guest left a buble gum glued to a bedside table. If it was not enough, he left a laundry basket filled with rubish. It was the first guest that confused it with a trash bin. As a contribution for the decoration, there was towels spread on the floor.

[Rebecca181]

@Sarah977 Sadly, this mirrors my experiences as well. I have had the rare surprise of an appreciative Millenial - In fact, one lovely couple that were 20 and 21 (does that qualify as being 'millenial'? I could not resist their request to book despite the fact that they did not meet my insurance-driven age requirement) came to stay and they had originally planned to be out most of the time doing things with local friends; instead, they cancelled every single activity just to enjoy my Cottage and the 1/3rd acre it's on. They laid on their backs on the lawn listening to the sea; read books; and did colored pen drawings. We met at the fire-pit at night to share drink, food, and stories. They were eager to know of our lives and our experiences. They expressed their appreciation sincerely and profusely. They offered to return and dog-sit for us so we could get a much-needed break (they were staying in the area elsewhere for a few days). They were like little Angels sent down from heaven, that's how wonderful and pure they seemed.

They left me one of their drawings when they checked out, and it was a drawing of flowers from my garden with a big 'Thank You' on it. We ended up staying in touch and we are likely to be life-long friends at this point. So there ARE exceptions, but in general, I find this a rare thing.

Not judging. Just saying. 

[Heather367]

In short, people are cheap.  But also no one is telling us what is expected of us. 
I never used airbnb before this past year.  I was apprehensive because staying in someone's personal space felt intrusive, I was accustomed to the impersonal business transaction that was a hotel stay.  But my boyfriend convinced me by virtue of the fact that he prefers to give his money to enterprising private property owners than to "big-hospitality."

I have been happy with them.  It's a different world.  In certain ways you get a lot more amenities (I find all manner of hygeine items, cleaning supplies, snacks, coffee, dishes, etc available to me whether I take advantage or not).  I still have had occasion to feel like I'm intruding in someone's personal space, creeping through their side gate after dark...  And I find myself cleaning everything right down to the floors before I leave the key.

I didn't know I was meant to send (or leave) a thank you gift.  Like I totally would.  I'm not that cheap, but nobody let me in on the social contract.

[Rebecca181]

@Heather367 To me, what you just said is 'gift' enough. A simple expression of appreciation or just a thank you for extra or unexpected amenities go a long way. I myself have never expected (or needed) an actual physical gift. As a host, when you do a lot of 'extras', although it is not required or expected, it certainly is wonderful to receive an acknowledgment of some sort - Which can be as simple as the guest leaving the place in good condition when they check out - So, for me, you would be an appreciative, thoughtful guest that I would recommend highly and love to have as a repeat guest.

[Ben205]

@Heather367Hi! Gifts are not obligatory, nor are thank you cards. They're just nice to receive as a host (in addition to the money, of course!). If you leave either, great, if not, I don't think any host is expecting them.

The reason I started the thread was to see if other hosts (and maybe guests) have thoughts on whether gift giving is declining and can we read anything into that?

I think the answer is 'probably not'! But, it's interesting to hear what others make of gifts and cards.

[Heather367]

I think the real answer though is that airbnb is becoming mainstream.  It may have started blossoming as this charming means of travel, an alternative to the sterile hotel, that allows you to stay in a more intimate environment.

But I think it has honestly turned into a widely known "cheap" alternative to hotel stay.

[Even if it is not cheaper it is generally a better value

Like uber has gone from the envirnomentally and socially friendly notion of "ride-sharing" to a giant, un-profitable monster in which no one makes money or benefits except for the rider who gets cheap ground transport.

I have no idea what airbnb takes as a cut, but at least they still leave power in the hands of the host to set prices accordingly and vet guests.

[Sarah977]

@Heather367  As a host, I have zero expectation of a gift from my guests, and anytime someone has brought one, it was a delightful surprise. As @Rebecca181 said, a guest who is communicative about their plans beforehand, respectful and appreciative and who leaves their space reasonably clean and tidy is gift enough.

My last guest asked if I wanted anything from Canada. I told her a Nanaimo bar, which is a kind of dessert pastry which originated from where she lives, in, of course, Nanaimo, but said I was sort of joking, as I didn't know if they would let her bring any food items into the country. She instead brought me a bar of handmade soap fashioned to look just like a Nanaimo bar and was chocolate scented, just like the real thing. I thought this was so clever and humorous and showed real forethought and consideration. But like I said, I certainly never expect a gift, and am not even close to disappointed when none is offered.

[J-Renato0]

Heather

Guests are not supposed to give any gift/present.

Guests do not have to leave any thank you card.

As a host I never expect a gift.

The only thing I expect is that guests follow house rules and leave the property in good conditions and not messy.

If guests are very polite and easygoing, it is a blessing. Fortunatelly, 98% of them are very polite and easy to deal with.

[Jessica-and-Henry0]

@Ben205

I never expected gifts but most of my guests either brought something from home or left us a gift to remember them by - not that we would need something tangible to remember all our wonderful guests!!!!

Most brought some sort of snack (usually their favorite from home) and shared with us. We also receieved a handmade bookmark, small potted plant, a handmade photobook, coconut jam, pins, wine, beer, chocolate, and tea.....to name a few.

Also we have some nice pics we took when we had dinner together with our guests. Most of our guests are long-term so Henry and I always take our guests out to dinner at least once or twice during a 4 month stay - typical Korean style bbq 🙂

[David126]

I was offered a bag of Marijuana, legal in my State. Well I think that was what it was and I am not sure if it was going to be a gift or if they wanted money for it.

I declined.

[Ben205]

@David126Back to my original question, though, are you getting fewer offers of marijuana or are the bags gettings smaller?

Maybe millenials are generous in other ways...