Hosting a developmentally (mentally) disable adult without their caretaker

[Theresa639]

HI, I have a developmentally disabled adult staying with me. He is legally incompetent but high functioning.. His sister, who is his legal guardian made the reservation but did not tell me he was disabled. She is also NOT staying here. He is in my house- I live here and rent out guest rooms. I am nervous about him staying as he is in my house. Airbnb told me legally I am not responsible if he has an accident. Has anyone else had this issue? It is not covered in accommodation policies that I can see. Those seem focused on physical disability. Help!

[Theresa639]

Also he has been here for a short time and is nice, not violent, listens, and can heat up food, dress himself, etc. But again, I was not informed about his disability at all. Any suggestions or previous experience are most welcome. Thank you!

[Gina2084]

I have had this happen with someone who was schizophrenic and the person who booked left him on the property, he had an “episode” and was holding a knife to his friends (who made the reservation) and they fled, I had to call the police to get him escorted off the property and would never allow someone who booked to let a random person (who is not included on the booking) even if they are related, on my property. I would suggest you contact airbnb, tell them the situation and have the sister either come and stay too or insist that the guest leaves. I know it’s harsh but you hold the liability and by choosing not to act you are accepting full liability.

Good luck!

gina 

[Theresa639]

Thanks I appreciate the feedback and sharing your experience. That's what I plan to do. 

[Kitty-and-Creek0]

@Theresa639 

This must be uncomfortable, and legally precarious.  The issue that stands out to me is that this is a 3rd party reservation; where the sister, who made the reservation, is not staying. Before making an issue about this, which you likely could, I would contact with the sister, who is legally your guest, not him. 

[Theresa639]

Thanks, and I have talked to the sister at length. She is very defensive and says i have asked more personal questions than any previous host. I am probably the first they've stayed with who lives in the the home. So I am planning to let him stay until the end of this reservation but  not renew the new one she wants.

[Kia272]

@Theresa639  That's a difficult situation to be put in, and his sister is responsible for doing that. Technically, this is a third-party reservation, which is not allowed on AirBnB. 

It sounds like it's not a problem at the moment, so it's really up to you as to whether you want to continue with the reservation. You didn't mention how long it's for? I don't really have any advice. Just be aware that if this should happen again, regardless of if the guest is developmentally disabled, you have the right to turn away these guests, or turn down the reservation if you're made aware ahead of time. The person who makes the reservation must also stay. That's how it works. 

I hope it turns out well for all involved. 

[Theresa639]

Thanks just what I was thinking. Will not renew for longer. I just don't want her to leave a negative review, but I have talked with Airbnb and will again when it is time to leave reviews. I appreciate the quick response! 

[Mike-And-Jane0]

@Theresa639 I am not sure I would get past the deceit of the sister and the worry about the guest but if I could I really would hope to do the nice thing and let him stay. I would however worry that, if she is asking to extend, you may never be able to move him out. More honesty definitely needed from the sister!

[Helen744]

@Theresa639 The correct term to use is 'intellectually disabled' and in this case to describe someone as 'legally incompetent' is outrageous. Discrimination against those with a disability is not acceptable. All of your language shows that you are not familiar with those who function differently from you. I would really like to know why you were unaware of this guests difficulties and why you originally chose to host them . If you only want guests like yourself then it would be a funny old world . If I were this mans sister I would run over to remove them from both you and your attitude.. H

[Helen3]

What do you mean by developmentally delayed and by the guest being 'legally incompetent' @Theresa639 

If you knew it was a third party booking why did you accept it? 

what discussions did you have with the sister before accepting the booking 

what is making you feel nervous? 

[Theresa639]

HI, this is to reply to everyone, both supportive and critical. To expand on the situation and my question-

My guest who is actually staying with me does have an intellectual disability. He is considered legally incompetent (legal description, not mine) as he cannot live on his own. He cannot cook for himself, drive, shop for himself, handle money, and more. He can do simple tasks like take showers, brush his teeth, dress himself, microwave his food, do dishes, take out trash. His sister is his legal guardian. She lives in the same city but he does not live at her house for some reason. She cooks meals, buys food, and has him over to her house daily. So she does a lot. 

SHE is the name on the Airbnb account, with his picture. He is not able to make Airbnb reservations, nor have a credit or debit card. The reviews there are in HER name. I think before me she had him stay in homes that Airbnb hosts bought and rent out rooms. The hosts do not live there and may never even have met him. I am the first host that lives in the same home and rents out my guest rooms. So I see him on a daily basis. I realized he was intellectually disabled the first night they arrived.

I checked the policies with Airbnb and since she is the legal guardian, she is responsible for him even is something happened at my house. As I think most hosts know, discrimination policies require hosts to accept those with disabilities, but if the person needs enough help the host must provide a place for the caretaker to stay. HIS SISTER DOES NOT STAY WITH HIM. So by default I am somewhat his caretaker. Understand that he is very nice, follows rules/tasks now that he knows his schedule at my house. He trusts and relies now on me to provide company and reminders of his schedule. I do not mind this at all. But as my friends and sister have reminded me, I now do not feel comfortable being gone for very long, never mind being out of town for a week or weekend. I just cannot do that to him right now. I have been home mostly as I am semi-retired and hurt my back recently. So it has worked out for the current time. 

His sister is in a very difficult position, as she is trying to get him into a group home here in the US (not sure what they are called in other countries). It is a long, trying process, with her providing info documenting his disabilities, physical issues, blood work, legal guardianship papers and everything else required.  This can take months, and she is working with a social worker/case manager. I feel bad for her and mostly him, as his schedule changes as he stays at different Airbnb houses. She has already asked for an extension. He is staying until the end of the month.

As for the critical responses, I do understand disabilities and worked early in my career with intellectually disabled adults and kids. I grew up with an aunt who had Down's Syndrome. I am certainly not being ignorant, unkind or discriminating. This is a totally different situation than not allowing kids, smoking or pets (not support animals); or not making my home accessible.

I sincerely appreciate all comments, suggestions and shared experiences! Thank your for taking your time. TMulligan