My first negative experience - Communication

[Michelle140]

This is my 9th guest coming tonight (it's 9:40pm), and it's the first time I've felt some dread. She's booked my room (not the whole house) for a lengthy 33 days, which is a long time to be stuck with a housemate you don't get along with. I don't think she knows what airbnb is supposed to be.

Her first message indicated that she preferred to be left alone unless someone is bleeding or the house is on fire (literally said that). I tried to ask her this afternoon around when she expected to check-in and all she said was it could be anywhere from 6pm to 6am. I responded to keep me updated, as communication is a part of airbnb. I have not heard anything, and like I said, it's now almost 10pm, and I have ZERO clue what time she will be arriving.

I just don't feel right about the whole thing. Part of me just wants to get things started and if she wants zero interaction with me, then all the easier that money is to make, but at the same time, this is not why I started on airbnb.

I don't mind some (short term) guests being zero interaction, but I enjoy sharing stories and meeting people from all over, and over a month sharing my home with an enigma of a person doesn't sound like fun. Sigh. At this point, if nothing else, I think I'm going to write my first negative review =(

Is there any advice? I'm afraid to confront her, in fear of retaliation while I'm not at the house, but I'm not happy...

[Michelle140]

@Eileen4, you may not have noticed that I had already suggested there was a chance she was somewhere on the autism spectrum. There are a couple unfortunate facts though... When we are hosting people from Airbnb, we do not know these people. Most of us try to give people the benefit of the doubt, but without knowing what the true diagnosis is, personally I don't want to make the decision whether she is autistic or there's something psychologically wrong. Also, even if it is not her fault, her behavior affects the hosting experience, so I feel it's right to reflect that in the review. Airbnb is not the right place for everyone, even if what makes it not the right fit (for most hosts) is not her fault, it is what it is. Same as how someone who is sensitive to loud noises or crowded spaces shouldn't work at a rock concert. There are other places that would be better for her to stay or at the very least, she should put forth effort to find a place that is ok with her not wanting ANY contact, rather than just booking the cheapest place that has a monthly discount. She needs to realize that she is looking for something unique and can't just book wherever and expect things to go ok. I'm not expecting her to do that, so I post my experience in the review so other hosts can make the right decision for them and what they are comfortable with. But having experienced it, I would guess that the majority of hosts would be uncomfortable for any lengthy stay. Even the Airbnb person helping me with the situation apologized for my experience after talking with her and seeing what I must have been dealing with. =(

[Susan-And-Dov0]

You are very brave. In my country, a person would be afraid to post such a review because you never know who the guest is connected to.  

I agree with the idea of keeping it succinct. At the end you can write, 'I would like to tell you that this guest is completely unsuitable for shared living. You can choose not to believe me, but do so at your own peril'.

[Susan-And-Dov0]

You are very brave. In my country, a person would be afraid to post such a review because you never know who the guest is connected to.  

I agree with the idea of keeping it succinct. At the end you can write, 'I would like to tell you that this guest is completely unsuitable for shared living. You can choose not to believe me, but do so at your own peril'.

[Vanessa77]

@Michelle140  Hello its me the self proclaimed hermit ❤️

I think its a great review! If you are worried about it being too long but not wanting to lose detail, You could say something like

"  I would not host Jackie again, as she is better suited for a hotel or private apartment. Sharing my home with jackie was stressful and made me very uncomfortable. After a number of innappropriate and unsettling situations I chose to end the reservation early.  

 Her initial communication was very poor, she failed to update me on when to expect her. So much so, that she didnt end up showing up until the second night of her booking, she also didnt end up letting me know this in advance.

Unfortunately this lack of consideration wasn't an isolated incident. 

She avoided all interactions and any eye contact when at all possible.

 The few times she did speak to me, she came across as quite rude and inconsiderate.

She also crossed boundaries and broke house rules and often displayed troublesome behaviours. Some examples are, talking loudly to herself, slamming doors and stomping, washing her dishes in the bathroom sink.

[Helen3]

 Great response Vanessa

[Vanessa77]

@Helen3  Thank you!!! I was hoping it didnt come across as mean haha

[Susan-And-Dov0]

That's a very nice piece of writing, but why bother to post it? Just convey the message that she's totally unsuitable, and that someone would be an idiot not to believe this, and that's enough.

[Michelle140]

@Susan-And-Dov0, as a host, I would want to know WHY the guest was unsuitable, so I can then make the right decision for me. All hosts have different toleration levels, so I would want more information to decide whether that person was just being too sensitive or if I should deny the guest. I see more harm in leaving it general than in explaining oneself a little bit...

[Ira4]

@Michelle140 it was a real experience reading all this thread! Thank you for sharing all these details with us! 

Is she still leaving in your house? 

@Andrea9, @Sandra126 and other veterans, thank you again for giving the sense of the community.  🙂 

Personally, I don't have that kind of experiences, because I offer entire homes. But I think I would try to be clear to her from the beginning and I would contact Airbnb from the day one. Then, I would write an accurate review and I would wait to post it after 14 days (actually the last minute). 

Good luck to everything! I am sure all this gave you important experience and it will make you stronger. 

[Michelle140]

@Ira4, she left this morning. Done and done (hopefully).

Why would you wait until the last minute for the review? She won't be able to read it until she submits mine as well anyway, and I'm sure she figures it won't be positive...

Thanks 😃

[Lyndsey2]

I would wait until the last minute because curiosity about what you wrote may prompt her to write a review when she may otherwise not have. If she writes one first, then have at it. 

[Michelle140]

@Lyndsey2, good point. However, pushing towards the deadline I could accidentally MISS it, which would be horrible in this situation =P Lol. I don't know 😉

[Andrea9]

@Michelle140 @Lyndsey2

Maybe not wait till the last minute. I've seen a post or two where Airbnb somehow made the cut-off earlier in the day than the host expected (different time zone, whatever). Would be a crying shame to miss having this epic review posted...

[Ira4]

@Michelle140 so I read this thread just on time that the action is finished. 🙂 

I am glad that you will be back to comfort now! I am sure the next guests will give you nice moments!

Like many other hosts say, I would wait for 14 days because I am sure that she will also give a bad review. So, first I would want this review to be online as less time as it could (I mean, to be online 14 days later) and if I had the time to have new short bookings after her, the reviews of that new guests would appear higher to her bad review.

[Dee9]

well im late to this convo but iits been 3wks since this post and im curios to know how it turned out!

my comment would have been..... i love guests who dont want to interact with me! you cant expect them to want to be smothered by their hosts...they usually rent because they have things to do in the area they are visiting. They enjoy their privacy and personal space just like we do. (and maybe thats why she said what she did becaues a previous host smothered her). If you got into this to mingle with people, and not to make money, then maybe you should seek socialization elsewhere, just saying

also, you were already decided that you were going to leave her a bad review before she even got to your house!!

sooooo......how is it turning out?