Should I review a difficult guest ?

[Julian2213]

I'm new at hosting (since July) and so far have had all 5* reviews and helpful private feedback.

Unfortunately our last guests were extremely difficult to deal with, going out of there way to find every small thing to complain about from the beginning and I believe determined to build a case for money off.  He had no reviews on his profile and this was his first Airbnb stay > maybe this is something to avoid in future?

Complaints were mostly subjective; from the size of the freezer to the type of plates and glasses available, request for outside lighting and certain types of duvets , the BBQ not being in the correct place (it had been put away for winter and quickly resolved) plus complaints about our property manager spending to long to explain things etc. Also complaints about being woken up at 8.30am on check out day by gardening noise . We are a rural farmhouse so there is often outside noise in the mornings.

Also some valid complaints - the cooker extractor fan being too noisy (we have identified it needs replacing), and an issue with hot water one morning due to our butane cylinder running out of gas. This was changed asap and they still had access to 1 shower whilst it was being replaced. He did ask my property manager for more wine glasses (for 10 guests) which we purchased and supplied the next day.  

He stated the day after checkin on the app about there many issues / difficulties but didn't expand when I asked him to be specific so we could try and resolve.... I asked again on my checkout note and he was very rude and then flooded me with complaints and lodged a complaint with Airbnb. This was primarily a complaint about cleanliness with photo's of dust behind the tv and under skirting boards etc. It's hard to say if these were staged (my instinct is they were taken at the end of their stay and self created with the intention of compensation) but I cannot prove it, as I wasn't present to check the cleaning prior to check in.

Airbnb advised we give him the 10% discount based on buyer protection and I also decided to refund fully the cleaning fee to avoid a lengthy conflict.

Some of his issues have actually been helpful and I've made adjustments to the listings.

There are also some small issues my end with their respect for property. They broke our tv remote and a wooden skirting board, plus they dumped a lot of open food trash directly into our outside bins (rather than in a sealed bag) 

So my big question for the community:
He hasn't submitted a review yet and I'm conscious of losing my 5* rating at this early stage.

Would you recommend I don't write a review unless he submits one or should I write one anyway? 

[Zheng49]

I definitely wouldn't be the first one to write a review in this case.

[Julian2213]

Thanks Zheng49 that was my inital instinct 

[Helen3]

I completely disagree with @Zheng49  on this one . There  is no advantage to you in not leaving a review.

1. this sort of guest iis likely to leave a negative review so better for you to leave a factual review to put it in context

2. wouldn't you want to be warned about a guest like this . it's only by hosts leaving honest reviews  that we are warned of poor guests 

[Julian2213]

Thanks for the advice Helen3

[Joan2709]

@Helen3 

I agree...definitely write a review...but I would wait as long as possible. Sounds like there were some legit problems the Host needed to correct. I would then maybe give them 4 stars for House Rules and Communication as sounds like they didn't follow instructions for food waste (presuming there was checkout instructions or House Manual that mentioned that).

If they leave a negative review, the post a public reply that is more specific. 

"We're sorry your stay did not meet all your expectations. We made every effort to quickly resolve.....blah blah blah. We tried to the best our our ability to assist you when using the Airbnb app, but perhaps since this was your first stay with Airbnb, that may have led to your frustrations and concerns using the Airbnb App.  Perhaps a hotel accomodation would be more familiar and suitable for future travel."

[Mikael135]

@Julian2213 hi from Chicago.

It's awful that Airbnb hosts have to live in fear of malicious guest reviews. If hosts can't give honest ratings/reviews of really difficult guests, we leave subsequent hosts in the dark. We're asked at the end of the review to say privately whether we would recommend to other hosts, but for unfathomable reasons that information is only available to hosts with "instant booking" which is not something we want.

We've been hosting for two years, a separate apartment in our city home, with mostly great guests and almost exclusively 5-star reviews, resulting in a 4.96 rating. I generally give guests five stars even if they're a little problematic, but we've been lucky not to encounter any truly difficult guests. Until recently. Two in a month.

I really wanted to provide that information to whatever host they book with next. So I waited until the final hours of the review window before sending my review. In one case it worked, in the other case the **bleep** must've been waiting because we immediately got an absurdly malicious and retribtive one-star review.

I contacted "superhost" support to get it removed, worked my way up their system, finally got to tell them precisely how it violated their own rules. Or so I thought. All I got was a bot denial. They didn't even read what I wrote.

I don't regret doing it. I think it's worth keeping this responsibility toward other hosts in mind. It knocked us down to 4.90, which certainly isn't the end of the world, although it would take us twice as many reviews as we've had so far to get back to 4.96, and another bad luck incident or two could really hurt us.

One-star reviews should be automatically flagged as malicious and retributive. Instead, they're protected, and we're left exposed.

Upshot: I wouldn't try it until you've built up a solid buffer against such terrorism.

Airbnb will not have your back if you get a brazenly retaliatory review.

~Mikael

[Julian2213]

Super useful reply , thanks Mikael135
It certainly feels like the guest is more protected than the host. We also have now uncovered an incident of something missing but no evidence to accuse anyone. 

Solid advice and for now I'll hold tight.  Am I right in that once the 14 days have passed the guest can no longer review a stay?

Also, curious if you accept bookings with guests without reviews or history?
I'm now very cautious about a future booking with a similar new profile.

[Frances3408]

@Julian2213 . You are exactly at the same spot I was 3 years ago. So instead of writing a lot I just used an emoji and the rating system because I was still annoyed. I realise now that probably didnt help other hosts except it did get them off IB initially. Draft up what you want to say and save it somewhere else then edit again until happy and load up at the last minute. 

Both reviews stood so I used the respond option to clarify their criticisms without crucifying them- you have taken on board some of their suggestions so mention that. And forget about the perfection of 5 stars. It wont hurt not having it in the long run; how you respond to difficult guests will. Good luck.

[Julian2213]

Many Thanks Frances3408

[Mace21]

Julian, first off, your situation is a tricky one, and it’s entirely understandable that you'd want to handle it with the utmost care to protect both your rating and your peace of mind.

Given the challenging experience, let’s break down the best approach, considering both short-term and long-term strategies that will ensure you’re acting wisely, fairly, and in a way that keeps your hosting goals on track.

1. Deciding Whether to Leave a Review

Wait until the Last Moment: You have 14 days from the guest’s checkout to leave a review. Use this period to reflect carefully on whether a review from you is truly needed. If the guest doesn’t leave one, it’s often best not to post anything yourself, especially if a review from them could jeopardize your rating.

Review Their Profile Clues: Before deciding, look at whether this guest has already reviewed others or interacted in ways that suggest they may not be actively reviewing hosts. If they seem unlikely to leave one, consider letting the situation end here.

2. Should You Leave Feedback if They Do?

If the Guest Leaves a Review First: If they do submit a review, you might consider writing your own as a defense mechanism, with a tactful, professional tone. This could also help other hosts in the future if the guest’s feedback turns out to be consistently problematic.

Choose Your Words Wisely: If you do decide to post a review, keep it factual and professional.

Avoid emotional or subjective language. For example:

"Unfortunately, this guest had a series of highly specific expectations that weren't a perfect match for our rural farmhouse setting. We addressed each concern as best as possible, but the guest may prefer an environment with a greater focus on urban conveniences."

This kind of wording communicates your position clearly while staying objective and professional.

3. Managing Future Guests and Feedback

Screening for First-Time Guests: While new guests can be a wonderful experience, consider asking a few pre-booking questions to set expectations, especially for those without reviews.

This can include details like:

“Just so we’re clear, we’re a rural farmhouse with morning activities like gardening that start early. Would this be an issue?”

It can help ensure they fully understand the environment you’re offering and reduce the likelihood of mismatched expectations.

House Rules and Descriptions: After this experience, you might want to add a little extra information in your listing description about any potential minor inconveniences common to the property type (e.g., early gardening noise, rural morning sounds, available amenities like freezers, specific bed types, etc.). This can help set a tone and filter guests who may be particular or prone to complaints.

4. Leveraging Private Feedback

Positive Updates to Your Listing: Despite the challenges, you've noted some of the guest’s feedback has helped you make valuable updates to your property. This proactive attitude is great! It’s a solid step that should contribute to positive experiences with future guests and keep your ratings high.

Clear Communication During the Stay: In future, if guests express dissatisfaction in ways that feel unclear or passive-aggressive, acknowledge their concerns kindly but aim for clear communication boundaries. Instead of multiple follow-ups, a single clear response can help: “We aim to make our guests feel comfortable; if you’d like to clarify any specific issues, we’ll be happy to address them where possible.” This shows your goodwill without inviting more complaints than necessary.

5. Handling Airbnb Resolutions and Refunds

Document Everything: You handled this situation well by cooperating with Airbnb and offering a partial refund to avoid escalation. Going forward, consider documenting all guest interactions related to issues or complaints through the Airbnb messaging platform, as this creates a record that could assist in case of future disputes.

Trusting Your Gut on Staged Complaints: Your instincts about potential staging or inflated issues are likely accurate. Some guests do try to leverage such tactics for discounts, and unfortunately, it’s a part of hosting. Documenting the property condition with photos before check-in and after checkout can help protect you and discourage unfair claims in the future.

6. Setting Your Tone and Finding Balance in Reviews

If you do choose to leave a review, consider it a professional tool rather than a personal judgment.

Focusing on practical, factual feedback ensures that your account remains professional and that you continue to foster the right type of respectful, appreciative guests over time.

Remember that all hosts face challenging guests at some point; it’s an opportunity to learn, refine your approach, and continue building a more rewarding hosting experience for yourself and your ideal guests.

By remaining calm, clear, and strategic, you’ll navigate this situation like an experienced host—even if you’re relatively new.

Best of luck, Julian, and remember, each experience makes you a better host and fine-tunes your ability to attract your ideal guests!

If you ever want to discuss things in more depth I'm happy to connect - so please feel free to reachout to me directly.

All the best, 

Mace

[Julian2213 · Accepted solution]

This is so useful thanks Mace21 

Appreciate the direction and so relieved to have so many helpful experienced hosts here to help us build our strategy.

[Andrea8411]

Oh gosh! I am laughing just because we too have encountered guests who just want to find something to complain about. Most of the complaints we have had have been unjustifiable. For instance we had an older lady to stay with us who claimed she stays in Airbnb’s all the time so she felt the need to tell us what all we were doing wrong. It was all her opinions only. Mom and I just smiled and listened. She claimed our coffee maker did not work and other electronic items which no other guests have ever had any trouble with using before or after her stay.  If someone says something is not working we are right on it to fix or replace but in this situation this poor woman was simply electronically challenged.

My big issue is when people make the unjustifiable complaints then give us less than a 5.0 rating. It’s not fair and I do not have any answers or suggestions to fix the problem.

More unjustifiable complaints people have given us followed with 4.0 ratings for their complaints:

1) Two large people booking our room with one double bed then saying the bed was uncomfortable for two people. WHY did they book a room with a double bed? The very top of our listing says “1 double bed.” They knew they needed a larger bed before booking.

2) ONE guest leaves a 4.0 review saying we did not have all amenities listed. Not once during her few night stay did she ever ask us what she could not find. We always talk with our guest to make sure they have everything they need etc. but some people do not want communicate at all so is it fair for people to do this?

3) The guest who booked our room in our newly renovated basement. We spoke with him every day during his weeks stay. Every day he said that everything was fine. Then he gave us a 4.0 review and said “it’s just a basement.” He knew that he booked a room in a basement so this was his complaint!

4) We had another guest who gave us a 4.0 rating for everything including accuracy and cleanliness while writing a public review that sounded like they were well pleased with their stay. This might be the one and only review we ever received all 4.0 for every area. They wrote in their public review how “immaculate” our place was so why did they give us an 4.0 for cleanliness? Again we had to laugh. Our home is one of the cleanest on the face of the earth. One of our previous real estate agents used to say that our floors were clean enough to eat off of. I dare anyone to even find a spec of dust in our guest’s area. We certainly never deserved this rating.

We have had our share of complainers. We would love to be able to have unjustified 4.0 ratings removed from our listing. These people who do terrible acts like this can destroy peoples listings then further causing a loss of bookings.

Perhaps one idea I could make is that when guests have complaints they should snap a picture of their complaint and provide it in the private feedback to hosts. If guests are giving hosts less than a 5.0 rating then they need to be “required” to state what their specific complaint is and provide proof in a photo when possible. Also, perhaps reviews need to be monitored and reviewed by a team at Airbnb before being posted. Perhaps people who do not make justifiable complaints could be prevented from destroying hosts ratings this way. 

[Andrea8411]

We quit writing reviews for guests unless they write one for us because we became tired of writing reviews for guests who never wrote any for us in return. Does not seem fair.

As far as writing a review for a complainer I have to recall a very wise review I found once from another host about a guest she had. She wrote something to the effect of “perhaps a room in a private home is not the most suitable situation for” such and such guest. Lol!

Such a comment tells all that is needed without sounding mean.