Social media awkwardness with a bad guest

[Laura2592]

We had a recent situation with a guest who had some substance abuse and mental health issues which were evident during their stay. I posted about it in another thread. Now a week or two later she has contacted us asking if we found some items she thinks she might have left behind (we didn't) and if we want to follow her dogs on our Instagram.  We ask guests to send us pics of their animals during their stay so that we can post them to our account advertising that we are pet friendly. She sent a few with the request to follow through Airbnb messages though she had checked out weeks ago.

I left this individual a "do not want to host" and the appropriate ratings with a coded forward-facing review. ("cleanup took extra time" etc) She seems very sweet but was a nightmare to deal with (super messy, locking herself out after drinking too much, tons of messages, broke the shower downstairs etc.) She strikes me as very needy and I really don't want her back. Everything was cordial communication-wise during her stay but my husband and I were very stressed and cleanup took forever.

We are new to Instagram having just started an account in mid December. What is the etiquette here?

[Anonymous]

@Laura2592  Maybe someone who's an avid Instagram user is privy to the particular etiquette of that platform's culture (I'm not).  But I would say in general, that when the reservation is complete and there are no more lingering strings attached (reviews, claims, missing items etc), the transactional etiquette of being a hospitality provider no longer applies. Now,  I think an ethicist would put your relationship in the same category as a former acquaintance (e.g. ex classmate, colleague, or Tinder hookup) with whom you're not situationally obliged to engage.

If you've ever worked a retail job, you've probably had moments where you had to fend off personal advances while still fulfilling your professional duties. It's about the same here - the least awkward thing to do is professionally answer the missing-items query and simply ignore the social stuff as though it never happened. Hopefully the former guest won't press on that point, but any further contact not related to your business can be blocked or dismissed - you never owe someone an explanation for not following them on Insta.

[Inna22]

@Laura2592 I really admire flaky people. The kind that can say: I will totally follow you or Let's have dinner! As soon as I get home I will text you my dates! or I must use your hairdresser, give me the number!

And never follow through on any of it, see you next time as if nothing happened.

I have to either follow through on promises even if it is an inconvenience to myself or must offer explanation for not doing it if I see the person again even though half the time they do not even remember what I am talking about. Furthermore, I remember and hold a grudge against those who act that way.

I do not mean this as a complement to myself, I think I take it too far. My advise to you is to be that flake. Tell her you did not find the items but you will absolutely for sure immediately follow her on Instagram. Do not reply to her after that ever again.

[Sarah977]

Oh @Inna22 I can so relate. I used to always be so stressed out about finishing an upholstery job by the deadline the clients gave me "We need it by XX date, because we have guests checking in".

So I've passed up dinner invitations, stayed up late to get the job done on time, call the client to say it's finished, and get "Oh great, well, we're out of town having a little holiday, we'll be back next week".

"I thought you had guests arriving tomorrow."

"Oh, they cancelled, I guess we should have let you know."

[Helga0]

@Laura2592 , I'd say if you want to know what's happening to the dogs, follow them, but if you do not want to increase the number of followers on that account, then don't. 

Usually, if you click on following someone, they will follow you back, so that increases the importance of your new account.

I don't know instagram, but on other networks, you get a notification when someone follows you, but not when they no longer follow you. So if you want to get something extra out of a person who wanted so many extras, follow her, wait for the notification, then unfollow her. 😁