The coded language of a review

[Laura2592]

I struggle with reviews. I try to be as honest as possible without being unkind. I have noticed that there are a lot of 5 stars out there for guests I would not have given 5 stars to. Digging deeper, there seems to be some common themes and coded language to warn other hosts that there might be issues belying the 5 stars. No one wants to come right out and say that this person was painful to deal with.

For example a recent guest emailed me 20 times or more per day of his stay with questions about very pedantic things. The sink made a gurgling noise. A light bulb in a decorative lamp went out. One remote only has one battery. He counted the light switches and can't figure out what one does. We addressed all of these concerns but it didn't stop until my husband took over communication. He responded immediately to that and the masses of emails halted. On his reviews this guest is described as "extremely communicative." When I write mine, I  would like to add that he "responded well to my husband" and that he may do better with an onsite host (we aren't.) 

Another guest had expectations for kitchenware we could not meet. He let us know our brand new Amazon delivered set was no match for what he expected. His reviews when I looked (too late, he was an early guest and I was still learning) said things like "this guest has a very high standard" and "this guest described himself as a chef and enjoys a restaurant style kitchen." Likewise one guest was very upset we didn't provide a lemon zester in our normal kitchenware (we had to go get one, she was having a literal melt down.)  Nothing in her reviews addressed that specifically but did say "XX has some quirks about what she needs during her stay. Best to communicate with her beforehand."

Another couple booked our place and brought in other overnight guests without paying. She sent us pics of the families standing on our porch. Her ratings from other hosts (all in our area) said things like "this guest likes to visit with family in the area." Or "so and so visited our place to be closer to her family in the area." I would have appreciated a "so and so had her family stay with her." It was obvious when we sent her the charges afterwards for the number of guests that she had done this before.

What have you said about guests in reviews that you meant as a warning to other hosts? Have you come right out with it or somewhat coded your responses?

[Huma0]

@Geraldine219 

I was trying to buy an expensive fridge freezer and the salesman told me I should rather "discuss it with your husband over the weekend." I almost dropped the phone.

[Kelly149]

I’d agree that when a review doesn’t say anything positive nor we’d love to have them back then I assume bad things. 

My poor reviews are generic:

”not a guest we’d have back” for the very very very bad

”2 night IB for 3 guests” for ones that I don’t want again but someone else might

im specific with stars but not interested in getting into it with a guest, so I go with the less said the better

[Susan1028]

Ive been blessed with 99% wonderful guests but have been inspired to use  “the code” for some of the minority and been straightforward about others.

If they break the house rules (such as smoking) they’re toast.  I’m very clear because other NS hosts don’t deserve the 12 hours of deodorizing cleanup I faced to be ready for the chemically sensitive guests set to check in after.

If they’re very demanding, rearrange the furniture, fail to comprehend the details in my welcome tour, house manual and signage and message me about every little thing, or use up every square of the 4 rolls of TP I leave to get through a weekend, steal the large bottles of shampoo and conditioner, break the glassware and don’t own up, empty the “oops I forgot” basket or a couple uses enough towels for 6, try to sneak in an extra guest, or failed to honor the noon checkout time staying through most of the allowed cleaning time I’ll use codes like:

Made thorough use of every available amenity

Modified the layout to suit her needs  

Impacted next guests check in time due to late checkout without prior approval 

Is better suited to a hotel experience

I was glad to refer their friends to a nearby accommodation that had space so late in the evening.

Guest is very attentive to personal hygiene and enjoys extra linens.

Im so grateful I had extra wine glasses on hand to replace the 3 that went missing

And for those that walk off with all the oil, butter, sugar, teas, napkins, packages of wraps, the roll of paper towels, every spice on the shelf and leave kitchen a mess:

...made full use of the kitchen, supplies, everything in the cupboards, and seemed disappointed he’d booked an accommodation without a dishwasher.

[Helen427]

@Susan1028& others,

To help stop or prevent the loss of kitchen and other items, how about including somewhere in your listing, " No items including food, laundry supplies, & other provisions are to be removed from my home including from the kitchen for personal use off the premises".

I've included it in my house manual & it touch wood, has made a difference.

It came about because my very first guests thought they could walk off with & consume things off premises.

"If you damage anything please advise me as I would if I was a Guest in your home and replace it with a like item, e.g glasses, crockery etc."

Turn the negatives into positives so you have a better overall experience all around for both Hosts & Guests.

[Susan1028]

Thanks @Helen427 

I've rewritten my narrative and house rules after every one of these guests...and could write a book about "good boundaries in hosting."  There will always be another opportunity to add to it.

[Flavia195]

@Susan1028  Excellent!!!! I will use it.

I had some "better suited to  a barn" 

In my short experience as host,  more people get, worst is. Some guests are absolutely ungrateful and think you HAVE to do extra. I feel me used and abused. My last guest gave 4* in location.  I was a little disappointed with the star rating regarding the location, since she  had only inquired about how far Staples was to my house.

On Airbnb description, it is written the distance from the airport. I kindly give my guests the option to be picked up from the airport, thus saving the cost for a taxi/uBer fare, for the marjority who choose not to rent a car.

Since I started with Airbnb, I've only had one guest giving me a 4-star rating, as retaliation for being told by me how to behave accordingly, as he urinated on my bathroom walls/floors, and outside the toilet, etc.

Her 4-Stars lowered my overall rating, unfairly since the fact that my house was far from her conference venue, did not depend on me, rather,  depended on her  choice of Airbnb (in this case, my home). The fact that the taxi driver took longer routes to increase his fare, had nothing to do with me. In short, my overall rating decrease due to elements that weren’t connected to me. I was surprised and sad about it since I always treat all my guests with the utmost courtesy, offering the best I can and trying to make them feel at home.

I gave my 1st bad reviews to a guest who wash his underwears with my kitchen cloths, stain my immaculate bedlinen with blood and left a lot of trash in his bedroom and common areas. 

I have no patience with unpolite, unrespectful and rude people.

[J-Renato0]

"Better suited for a hotel stay" is a classic when the guest is too demanding and hard to deal with.
Anyway, saying that, it does not imply that the guest left the property too dirty, untidy or smelling cigarettes and whatsover.
So, I think that sometimes it is necessary to be straightforward.

[Helen3]

Its really irritating when hosts leave euphemisms, aren’t honest when providing feedback or worse still don’t review a ‘bad’ guest because they say they fear a retaliatory review.

Please just be honest and factual. If a guest isn’t clean, is unreasonably demanding, brings in guests they haven’t paid for or parties then for heaven’s sake say so!

’Best suited to a hotel’ is probably one of the most meaningless and useless of phrases.  It doesn’t tell your fellow hosts anything - spell out what the actual issue is. 

[Mark116]

@Helen3   Euphemisms protect the host from guests going ballistic or reporting them after the fact for things like discrimination or privacy invasions.  If airbnb were a more transparent, fairer company, whose CS reps were able to read and understand the gist of messages, it would be different, but as it is, a very negative review is just as likely to have negative consequences for the host as for the guest.

[Sean433]

@Helen3 @Mark116 

You got it right Mark, I am sure your comment was partly inspired by my latest reply on this thread to what just happened to me for declining a guest because of a very bad review she left another host and my now scheduled call tomorrow with a CS Rep regarding a false accusation of discrimination.

Just wanted everyone to know that in case somethings happens to my standing after this call, that I have laid everything out for you all to see.

[Sean433]

@Helen3 @J-Renato0 @Flavia195 @Helen427 @Susan1028 @Kelly149 @Mark116 

I understand the importance of leaving an honest review however having had really really bad experiences due to this, I am so careful about this now. Yes it is not fair but that is the system we play by.

One guest requested a refund after I left her a bad review. As a result, this took 30 minutes of my time having to write a long explanation to a case manager regarding the refund request and also a phone convo. The guest was not refunded but it was a waste of my time plus I realized after my review, another host accepted her even though he was warned so what good was my review?

Another case which just happened yesterday where I declined a perspective guest because when I cross referenced her reviews - the review she left one of her hosts, I saw 4 negative comments of the host, 2 of which had nothing to do with the host. I declined her for that reason. She then reported me for discrimination saying that I discriminated her based on her religion which I had no way of knowing about. Turns out after she told me what religion she was which was not necessary, I realized we share the same religion. I was so offended that I even told her which religious institution I attend so that she can see my decline was only due to her review and she said "i don't buy it and I filed a complaint to airbnb". Now I have a scheduled call tomorrow with a case manager about this where I even offered to show evidence that I am of the same religion as the guest I declined. Why do I have to do this when I can spend my time on better things like ummmm hosting?

The point I am making is that I realized after such events that it is sometimes best to fly low under the radar because of retaliation. Some people are either vengeful or narcissistic that they would rather believe someone is discriminatory of them rather then understanding that their actions are the reason for our reviews or declining them as guests. 

What is the solution? I have no clue but I no longer with leave poor reviews, I will only rate them low since guests cannot see the actual rating we give them but rather just the wording in the review. Hopefully if a host sees a poor rating, that will be enough info to decide whether they want to host them or not.

I also learned that if you want to decline a guest for a good reason such as reviews or the reviews they leave their hosts, it's better to be discrete and just say something like, sorry we are not able to host for those specific dates you requested and move on.

[Sandra856]

Hi @Sean433 🙂

If a guest requests a refund and they are able to leave you a review you are almost certain of a bad review if you don't refund. It has absolutely nothing to do whether you leave a review or not. The guest couldn't read your review but if the guest got the slightest idea that you might leave a bad review you are also certain to receive a bad review.

It is a game. If a guest asks for a refund and you won't refund you should of course not leave a review straight after. The guest will get a notification that you have left a review and is then asked to review you. That guest won't be happy. 

You should wait til the very last minute to review. Then the chance for a revenge review is slim. 

I have left, I think 15-20 bad reviews out of my 340-350 and not ones have I received a revenge review. It is of course luck but also I have really thought about how to avoid a bad review. It is very much about timing. 

I'm quite idealistic, I guess - I do not leave a bad guest with a good review - or no review. 

[Sean433]

@Sandra856 

She only requested the refund after I left her a bad review and this wasted 30 minutes of my time with a CS Rep

The recent event of me being accused of discrimination is the last straw for me and the reason I will no longer be honest in my feedback or reasons for declining and will just fly under the radar. No host should have to have a scheduled call to discuss and prove why they weren't discrimination just because they perceive the guest as problematic which she clearly proved to be the case after filing a complaint

[Sandra856]

@Sean433 You should of course do whatever you think is best - in a business like airbnb there will always be bad costumers/guests - you let those guys win if you do nothing. 

[Sean433]

@Sandra856 @Mark116 

If her false accusation of discrimination leads to my account closing, who is the winner and loser there? What is the risk vs the reward? No reward for me to be honest and only a huge risk. I partly depend on airbnb for income and I so frustrated I have to explain myself tomorrow during this call.