What to do when a(n angry) travel partner takes over the communication?

[Dora676]

We’ve had this happen a few times now. (For context, we do think through which guests to accept - the cabin is in the countryside and definitely not a "hotel room" kind of place.) But the scenario is this: we have a nice, friendly and communicative person coming to stay and, when they arrive, their travel partner takes over the conversation and turns out to be quite the opposite. They’re hostile in their communication, they complain about every small detail, demand refunds, late check-outs and won’t take no for an answer…   Any tips how to manage this?

[Joan2709]

@Dora676 

Yes...I warned that this would happen when Airbnb allowed members of group to have access to the message thread.

@Robin4 & @Guy991 both had good suggestions on how to handle this:

"Hi [Group Guest – not booking guest]

Thank you for your message re your upcoming stay with [booking guest].

To avoid the possibility of confusion, we ask that any messages or questions you have about the trip be given to [booking guest]. [booking guest] has all the information you may need regarding the stay and also our House Rules and other details that were supplied when [booking guest] confirmed their reservation.

This will ensure there is no confusion and allow things to run smoothy."

[Dora676]

Dear @Joan2709 , This is brilliant! Thank you! We'll paraphrase it and use it. 

[Joan2709]

@Dora676 

All thanks to @Robin4 & @Guy991  for suggesting wording to be used 😊

https://community.withairbnb.com/t5/Host-circle/When-Guests-Add-Others-to-the-Chat/m-p/2079153

[Guy991 · Accepted solution]

Hello @Dora676 ,

A very familiar situation. I managed to resolve about 90% of such cases. In addition to the information @Joan2709 shared, I would like to add something about timing. Immediately after the reservation is confirmed, before they add any guests, I send a message with some basic information and also the following paragraph:

Feel free to add any guests included in your reservation to this chat so they can stay informed. However, we kindly ask that all communication remains between you (the primary guest who made the reservation) and us. This helps ensure clarity and consistency throughout your stay.

This way they know about it before adding anyone.

It has minimized almost all situations, and on the rare occasions when a more assertive guest (who is not the booker) takes over, I still reply to their request, but I always address my answer to the booker by name. This reinforces that I communicate only with the booker, who is also the one writing the review.

For example, let’s say Rose is the booker.

David (not the booker): WHERE IS THE IRONING BOARD? GET ONE NOW IMMEDIATELY OR I WANT A 50% REFUND!

My answer:

Dear Rose,
The ironing board is in the small niche near the washing machine. Please let me know when you find it.
Regards,
Guy

Do not worry, the booker is aware of the dynamics with their assertive partner or guest, and they usually appreciate that you give them back the power.

So in conclusion, I do reply to the question, but I always address it only to the booker and completely ignore the toxic guest.

[Elisa]

Hi @Dora676 😊, 

I’m sorry about what happened, but I’m glad many hosts were able to help you.

Did you send the message to your guest? How is everything going now?

Looking forward to hearing from you!