Hello everyone ,
I hope your week is going smoothly.
I wo...
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Hello everyone ,
I hope your week is going smoothly.
I would like to discuss the way you choose to communicate with your g...
Latest reply
This one really stumps me.
We have had a few guests who have done some redecorating of our space....moved furniture, rearranged lamps and put them in different rooms, taken down curtains or paintings, etc. I just do not understand this. Its never the same thing so its not a hint that we need more light in a spot or the sofa is poorly situated for the TV.
Its just as though some people need to put their "stamp" on even the most temporary residence. Ultimately I wouldn't care if they put things back. I love to decorate but can honestly say I've never done this at an Airbnb or hotel.
Anyone have insight into this behavior? Its just got me curious!
I admit it.
I move furniture, lamps, decorative items, and take things down from the walls. And when I leave, no one would ever know I did.
Why?
I work remotely, I'm a long-term guest and live in Airbnbs, entire place to myself. I like having a combination of a variety of wonderful places to stay in, but also a sense of mundane normalcy and continuity to keep me grounded. I love clean white or cream walls, and I don't like things cluttering them up. Seriously not into an art print of a headless woman, or even a sunset. I don't like tchochkes because, since they're not mine, I register them as clutter. I like lamps placed according to how I use them and my own personal sense of placement. Same with furniture. I keep a balance of feeling like the space is my home, as if I were leasing a furnished apartment, and I maintain certain personal boundaries as if it is my home, but I'm also very mindful that I am a trusted custodian of someone else's property.
If I take down anything from the walls or put away decorative items, I make sure they're safely stored and can't be damaged. I have my own sheets and towels, because I like the way they look and feel. Because not all hosts have them, or don't have decent ones, I have knives and a sharpener, measuring cups and spoons, and a few other little kitchen items that I've picked up along the way. I have two screwdrivers and oil for squeaky doors. Today I took apart a filthy, wobbly floor fan and cleaned it and reassembled it. I love being independent, self-sufficient, and prepared.
I'm a bit quirky and probably an outlier from most types of guests, but I'm genuinely relieved to know I'm not the only one who takes things down and moves things around. I always felt like a freak about that, now I can relax about it, especially as I'm reading host responses that they're not offended. Thank you, @Laura2592 , for the thread, and to all the hosts who've had such chill responses! I didn't realize I was carrying that much tension about it and I feel like I've just come out of a year of really good therapy!
@Heidi588I think that guests often believe that they put things back just as they were, but this is not typically the case I am afraid.
We have a large very detailed antique map of the area framed in our living room. Its usually something the guests really like-- some who have stayed found their family homes/lot lines from the date of the map (1887 I think.) One guest must have taken it down for some reason (no idea why. Its quite heavy, very securely anchored to the wall and it is rather difficult to move.) It was put back, but there were two large scratch marks in the white paint of the main room where its clear that this happened. I saw them when I was dusting the tops of the window frames. Never been there before. Not immediately noticeable, but yes, this is damage, and yes, I had to take the thing down and paint over the scuffs.
Recent guests moved a wooden bench for a Zoom baby shower, put it back, but knocked plugs out of the wall. I changed light bulbs before I realized the lamp was unplugged because the guest had scooted the bench past it. But that one was clearly moved because it was probably easier to see people on camera for the event.
None of this stuff is a major annoyance, but it does trigger me a little. If you really love bare walls and minimalism, maybe its better to find a place that is closer to the aesthetic you prefer? We don't allow long term stays so all of these redecorations happened in a week or less. Its just not wired into me to go somewhere for such a short period of time and rearrange someone else's home. I can live with whatever the host has decorated with for a few days. I might mentally pick out a different paint color or style of lamp, but I would never dream of changing the environment just because.
And oh my! If my guests started fixing things with tools they brought...I might have to have an Ute type NO conversation. We need to do our own repairs for insurance and maintenance reasons. I would never encourage you or other guests to attempt repairs simply because it helps you to feel more independent. Its a nice thought, but there are so many issues that could arise here.
@Laura2592 , thank you for your perspective about fixing things. I'll readjust my boundaries on that.
I hear you that you're triggered. I have my own triggers as well and empathize.
I hear what you're saying about what types of stays I choose. I have a list of things that are important to me in order of importance, but I won't go into that here and derail your thread.
I hear also what you're saying about living with something for a couple of days, but what you would do is not necessarily what another would do, as is evidenced by the your experiences with some guests.
I think it may be a universal law of physics overlooked by Newton that whatever one wants untouched becomes a magnet to be touched.
I hope you find a solution to this annoyance that helps you achieve, at the least, a sense of equanimity. In thinking about your OP, and knowing how people respond when they hear what they perceive as complaining, I think a go-to response for some would be, "If you don't like things being moved, then don't be a host!" But that's not a solution at all, it's a negation of reality and what you're feeling about what you experience. The reality is that you have your reasons for being a host and have priorities and parameters for what you want from the experience, similarly perhaps to how I have my own for the stays I choose, and the reality is that there is something that's affecting your sense of balance and okayness.
If I were in your shoes, I also would have posted to get feedback. My next step would be to sit down with a piece of paper, write the main issue in the middle of the paper, and branch out from it kind of like a mind map. I can't tell you how many problems I work through using that method, and I almost always reveal to myself what's actually troubling me and what are really solid, doable solutions. I also find that it lets out whatever I was holding that was causing such dissonance and tension, the little alarms going off inside that say, "This is not okay!" Maybe you have such a problem-solving method that works for you?
@Heidi588 I don't think its that serious!
I do love getting perspective from my fellow hosts. Its also great to hear from guests who pop over to this forum from time to time. Sometimes I think things are an absolute norm, i.e., on a short stay you don't rearrange the space. But experience has taught me that for some people, that is not that simple. I was only curious to hear what others thought. There have been some interesting points raised.
My only point was that sometimes guests believe their HGTV or feng shui re-imagining of the space goes totally unnoticed. If you are a host like me who goes after each and every check out to clean after the cleaners and disinfect per protocol, you will probably notice if normally stationary objects are moved. I do appreciate those guests who feel compelled to change the space and make an effort to put it back-- some don't. But even those who do may be surprised that hosts still notice. And yes, it may be a little annoying or even cause damage.
Some guests like to play house in your space. After all, we hosts offer escapes and there are so many unique properties on Airbnb. The boundary gets blurry when a guest treats a space like its their actual home. This is another reason on the long list of why we don't want long term guests. As experienced landlords in other properties, the longer the tenant lives in the property, the more the tendency for them to think it truly belongs to them. As a host, we have had guests who wanted us to buy furniture more like what they preferred "for next time." Its best, in my humble opinion, to keep these relationships very very clear. I may enjoy having you in my cottage, but I also want you to understand its a temporary arrangement. I don't want you ready to move in, or putting your special touch on the decor, or fixing things. Put your feet up, relax and enjoy and then move on.
@Laura2592 , yes, clear boundaries are very important, knowing what's okay and not okay for oneself and communicating that to others should they be unaware. Ute's perhaps favorite word is definitely mine. If someone does not understand, accept and respect my no, then they do not understand, accept and/or respect me, and it's best whenever possible to put up guards against the rejection of my no so that it cannot be overriden, perhaps even to go so far as to end contact.
You have not been harsh to me, only assertive. I recognize and accept that you do not perceive me as having a valid or valuable contributing perspective to this conversation, and that my original statement about maintenance is still bothersome to you even though I made clear that I changed my perspective and was appreciative of your input that motivated me to change it. I am aware that you would not welcome me to your cottage, and that you do not welcome me to the thread or the community, and so I will exit from the thread. I will do my best to remember you so that I do not in future reply to you, as I accept that interaction with you will not be welcomed or appreciated. I do sincerely wish you well, from a distance.
@Heidi588oh my.
This has devolved into something that I fear you have taken the wrong way. I would be happy to welcome any guest to my cottage who was willing to follow my house rules. I had not thought to add "don't move furniture" and "don't attempt repairs on your own" to mine, but after this conversation I am considering it.
Wishing you the best and bowing out of this dialogue as it seems to have gone off the rails. Thanks for contributing your ideas. Hoping to get this thread back on track now.
@Laura2592 Oh golly, I posted my response before reading through to this point. So sorry. It was an interesting topic!
🕳️👀yikes same here, I just saw it today in 2024...in a nutshell the guest seems somewhat aloof...
@Laura2592 Without experience as a landlord for long-term rentals, I went into this with the notion that guests should feel completely at home while they're in the space. I hate more than anything to even ask a guest how they're doing when they're in situ. I'm a no-news-is-good-news type. For some reason, in six years with three listings, almost no one has moved anything significant. Except that bench. That did annoy me, but I left it where it was and it's there to this day.
At our cabin, my housekeeper told me one couple put this little lady face down for the duration of their stay:
I felt sad for my girl. But different strokes.
Yes, I have been annoyed to find lamps unplugged and pots and pans put in a place other than the place I keep them. But the guests were telling me something. The unplugged lamps meant the guest needed the outlet. So I bought charging stations. The pots in different places - well, the cabinet for the pots and pans isn't very roomy. I don't mind having everything stacked up but some people do. So they move things. C'est la vie.
The uniqueness of every listing on Airbnb is of huge value, but then there's the balancing act of making the energy of a space both neutral enough to allow for others to enter it on their own terms and welcoming and personal enough to feel unique. I guess I'd think too many things moved too regularly would be some kind of message that I'd have to consider.
@Ann72 it doesn't happen that often, and as I say, it's not the same things all the time. I think there's two answers to this question, gleaned from some.of the responses. Some guests have this need/urge no matter what space they are in and they have to somehow make it just right for their own quirks. Some just need extra space or a different layout temporarily for an activity.
The vast majority of our guests don't move anything not meant to be moved. Occasionally one will ask if it's OK that they do move something.
We always want people to be comfortable in our spaces as well, whether landlords or hosts. I have to think about if I want to add this to the house rules. Not sure of it happens often enough to bother. It is really interesting to read that more people do this than I ever expected!
I don’t mean to derail the direction of this discussion (well, maybe I do), but I can’t help myself. You saw an art print of a headless woman? I must admit that I would likewise want to remove that from my sight lines...
@Pat271 It would make some difference to me, whether the head was just out of frame or the subject had been literally decapitated.
🤔do u restore all items to their original positions before checkout, if so no problem, if not highly inconsiderate.
🤔as to liking white clean clutter free walls, wouldn't it be far more relaxing to only book properties with ur desired aesthetic via pictures b4hand, just wondering 4 years later as this feed popped up today in Jan. 2024
@Laura2592 I once waited tables at a sidewalk cafe that was not ideally placed for sunshine exposure. Not a day went by that I didn't have to tell customers they couldn't pick up their tables and move them into the bicycle lane.
There are times when I move things around a little bit in an STR. For example, once a year I'll spend a weekend in the countryside with a group of friends and stay up all night playing an elaborate board game (yes, I'm a nerd). Sometimes we have to get creative with the furniture to make a large enough surface to accommodate all the pieces, or move some lighting fixtures around. I've never thought of those things as transgressions. However, I always make sure to put things back in their original position before checkout. It's very easy for 4 guys to move a heavy table, but it would be thoughtless and unfair to make the host or housekeeper do this alone.
Some of my guests move sofas to make room for yogamats. Fine, but when they don't replace things I have to move furniture on my own. They are usually at least two. Heavy for me.