Hi @Paul-And-Jan2
I can well understand how miffed you must feel.
I think it's important to always leave a factual, honest review. You can be diplomatic without going into any detail so the guest won't be offended. Also, guests are unable to see how many stars you left them.
HOWEVER I've had a quick look at your listing, (which looks really lovely BTW), and nowhere in the description or house rules can I see do you state that you will only accept ONE guest.
I can well imagine that a booker will see that you have a queen bed the 2 chairs at the front of your cabin, the 3 chairs on the outside deck - four in the dining room - and think it's perfectly ok to bring 2 guests or maybe even 3. Some hosts charge a flat rate for their listing regardless of how many guests stay, and some charge per person, so guests can genuinely make honest mistakes.
Also re early check in - many hosts have a system where the self check will be a different code for each guest and the code can be set to be timed so that a guest CAN'T get in prior to check in time.
(Even if you don't get a system like that, it's worthwhile telling the guest that a code will not become active until such and such a time - then they are far less likely to try it on). Or if it's a key, you can tell them that the key will be placed in such and such a spot by such and such a time ( even if you place it there earlier - the guest doens't know that)
Eating you meals sounds pretty outrageous, but again without knowing more was this absolutely apparent to the guest? Again there is not much detail regarding access - what's off limits - in your description. it's worth covering yourself re this in your description also - that way guests can't say they were unprepared for what they encountered and would never have booked if they'd realised, and also if you need to ring CS for any reason, They can take a look at your listing and see you have indeed specified whatever. Or was your personal refrigerator in a completely different building? If that's the case I can't see how anyone could have "misunderstood" and I'd be definitley marking them down on stars. I'm not very diplomatic, but I"m sure another host will have some clever advice re a way of expressing things, without being inflamatory.
All up it sounds to me like this guest was entitled and really taking liberties. However until you beef up your listing a bit so that everything that you expect is crystal clear before your guest arrives ( regardless of whether they read it or not) I'd be inclined to go a little more gently, especially re the extra guest.
Otherwise there's a danger the guest can get the review taken down as you were not explicit enough. It's all about covering yourself unfortunately. For example I"ve just had a party of 8 stay 2 weeks. due to traffic, only 1 person was there for my guided tour and check in. I showed her where I had placed substantial supplies of extra linens, towels etc. I have 2 cupboards in my house that are locked - one for cleaning supplies, one for extra linens. I state in my listing I have a couple of locked cupboards. After these guests checked out, I discovered one of them had "forced" the spare linen cupboard door to the point he had ripped off a large bolt held in place by 6 sturdy screws adn got himself a towel. There is MASSES of linen in there, only 2 towels were taken. Clearly the info re the extra linens on a shelf elsewhere was not passed on. I'm pretty irritated, naturally, but they were pretty good guests on the whole and I can see it was a stupid accident and lack of communication ( although it would have been nice if they' informed me so I could have made arrangements to fix it before my next guests checked in). As a result, I"m going to print 2 large laminated signs saying "locked" - so that guests can't say ( but I didn't REALISE that was one of the locked cupboards, I thought the door was just a bit stiff).
I"m sure other hosts will have other ideas and opinions to help.
Cheers