Francesca18
Level 3
Brighton, United Kingdom

Nice guests

however the girl was wearing hot pants with her bottom hanging out it looked like a sort of sheer hot pants thing cut to the mid tummy..I wrote that due to the fact I live with others from other cultures it would be respectful to wear a little more at breakfast. 

 

I feel bad as I understand from being out in Brighton at Pride that its the fashion to wear short shorts with bottoms hanging out..whatever happened to showing a bit of knee or ankle ...anyway..I stayed at a b and b and wanted to go down in my pjs stripy - I was told no it was no way appropriate and to dress,  it was only a tiny place and I wanted to feel relaxed. 

 

How do you put this to a guest..I already put it to her and am unlikely to get the same problem again but your ideas are good 

Oomesh-Kumarsingh0
Level 10
Pamplemousses, Mauritius

@Francesca18 You cannot ask guests to wear this or that as long as he or she is wearing clothes on this shouldn't really matter. Concerning the people of other cultures that were staying at your place in that time I am sure they were aware of the culture in Brighton UK and I personally  think they should respect the culture of the country they are living in rather than judgmental. Never complain about your guests outfit that's bad for business!!! 

Yes but I really don’t want to sit at breakfast with people naked or not wearing much cloths. 

Sorry. Its my house my rules. If it was self catering she can do what she wants. 
 
I don’t want men giving my airbnb guests the eyes all over. Either then the boyfriend gets cross,  the next thing you have a fight. 
No I am not going that way. 
I ve heard about it happening in other shared houses. 

but I will consider what you say seriously. Western culture seems to demand that women must flaunt themselves to men.

Probably this ideal has been born in Hollywood and guess who is charge if Hollywood " men" how often do we see an ugly actress in a lead role its not the norm..the culture of Hollywood sets beauty up as something all women must have and its not fair on average women who then feel imperfect. .. and guess who mostly operate on women for plastic surgery - men though this is changing a bit now. Women pay thousands of pounds for their beauty products etc., is this just to make themselves feel good or what is it about. 

 

 A feminist would say I wear what I like and go where I like but that is insensitive to the culture in some cases.

 My friend wore not enough in the street in Dahab and was molested in a the changing room by the shop keeper.

She had not invited him. It was not her fault. It was bad. 

But in my opinion she was disrespectul of the Arabic culture and thought " they should get over it..." that they were behind in womens liberation. But this does not sit with me either.

People are where they are in terms of development as countries and attitudes some of which are attached to deeply held religious beliefs. 

 

There has been a case where a cafe owner shot at nudists on a beach in Corsica recently and has been let off. It was not a designated nudist beach and they should not have been there. He got left off..so far. I was surprized at the fact he got let off. 

 

Anyway this is going off the point a bit..to be safe I play the middle ground as being the best way to go in other countries. As a traveller extremist may not be the best way to go about. 

 

 

 

Sharif25
Level 2
Dahab, Egypt

If freedom while respecting other’s space and culture and freedom while it may be invasive and passively aggressive is met with molestation, threat or being shot or hurt then there is a huge safety problem which is freedom met with aggression 

You should contact her and ask if she can dress more modestly but be prepared for a bad review.

For the future, put in your listing that it is a shared space in your home and you prefer guests who dress modestly as you are trying to be respectful of a wide range of cultures who will be visiting.

If she wore those clothes to Dubai, for example, she'd be arrested. Different religions and cultures have different requirements. She is renting space in your place but she should respect your needs.

One thought though, maybe from a cultural perspective she thinks she looks fine? She may not know differently. I remember one year calling a temp service and saying we needed a receptionist and that she should dress for a corporate business environment. We got a young lady wearing a bright red dress and red high heels. She thought she looked stunning. I was grateful she was sitting behind a desk most of the day and pulled her aside and asked if she had other choices for the next day. She didn't. And no one in her family worked in a corporate environment so she was doing the best she could.  I was much more sympathetic after that.

So in this case, just tell the young lady your family is modest and ask if she could be more accommodating.

Laura2592
Level 10
Frederick, MD

@Francesca18 I'd be really careful.  As a guest if anyone asked me to dress differently I would probably be uncomfortable enough to report them. I dress modestly but as a woman who is somewhat well endowed sometimes I have unintentional cleavage.  Throughout my life, I have had people (mostly men) tell me that this is "distracting." Not only is this sexist it's totally embarrassing. If you told me in your home that my breasts were too much for your breakfast table I would not hesitate to leave you a negative review. 

 

Hosts may want to control everything in their space but at some point, you have to give up a modicum of that control in order to rent the space to others. If you want to institute a dress code for guests based on your own personal,  religious or cultural norms that should be stated clearly in your house rules. But please don't embarrass this person further.  Theoretically, they won't wear the same thing every day and you won't be able to see the offending hot pants under the kitchen table.  It sounds like you were the offended party, not these other cultures that live with you. If you are sensitive to the way guests dress you need to state what you expect up front so that people can see what they are in for before they book.