Guest having sex in my apartment whilst I am there (making noise)

Kippy0
Level 3
Alicante, Spain

Guest having sex in my apartment whilst I am there (making noise)

I have hosted over 40 bookings in 2 years I think. Never have I experienced what I experienced this weekend. A guest rented a room in my apartment for her and a male friend. I am assuming they are in their early 20ties. At first all seemed well and the guests were kind as always when I first meet them. This guest is fairly new to airbnb joined in April (no reviews) so I am also assuming I may have been her first booking. Anyway, fast forward to later in the evening, I hear screeching coming from the room so I asked my bf, if he could hear that noise (from upstairs our bedroom which is on an other floor yet not really sound proof). My bf says, Oh my god I think they are getting it on. I could not believe that a guest would do that not only in a strangers home of which you are merly renting a room, but also whilst the host is present in the house. I also believe they as they were making the bed move they have the knowledge that they would cause for noise. I am super dissapointed in this guest and that she would do this whilst we were in the house. I therefore feel like not giving her a good review at all. I think you can never know what people do in a private room and its the risk you take but the fact that we heard it and they did that whilst we were in the house I believe is super disrespectful. At some point I came down, turned on all the lights in the hallway, made myself known in the space and they still kept it going. What kind of review do I give this guest? I feel like I have to say something about it but I dont want to get too personal and put her on the spot. I dont nessesarly not wish her any future bookings. Advise anyone?

217 Replies 217
Melodie-And-John0
Level 10
Munnsville, NY

The subject of this thread is a good reason we keep well stocked with gloves and It didn't start cause of Corona!   Stay well, JR

Alison712
Level 2
Philadelphia, PA

I actually rent out my master suite. I rent it out part-time and when it’s not being rented, it’s my actual bedroom... I think 100% of my guests have had sex in my room. The first few times it happened I was totally freaked out bc it’s my actual bed... but then I realized why I host through Airbnb in the first place and the fact that I stay as a guest all over the world thanks to Airbnb. All the random beds I have slept in.. at least with mine I know how it’s being cleaned lol the sex comes with being a host 

Melodie-And-John0
Level 10
Munnsville, NY

@Kippy0 , I can't believe this post is still alive since 2016, I suspect if you put the word sex in just about any post, it will attract attention.  Hopefully your hosting experiences have been better since then or you got a good set of headphones for when they don't!  Stay well everyone, JR

Robin4
Level 10
Mount Barker, Australia

@Xak0 

Well this might be a bit tasteless but, I can't give an opinion because I have never had to indulge in such treatment!

 

But having said that, this is one of the reasons I would never have contemplated hosting in a shared environment. I hate the thought and the sound of others indulging in a pleasurable activity I find myself excluded from.

 

I have never been one of those 'roll over and think of God and country' types but when a medical issue has progressed to the point where it isn't practical any more, I am one who prefers to 'suffer in silence......not be reminded of it'!!!

 

Cheers......Rob

Sarah977
Level 10
Sayulita, Mexico

@Robin4  That's a Spam click-bait post.

Helen350
Level 10
Whitehaven, United Kingdom

@Sarah977 Indeed! - I reported it as "spam" before Rob replied..... Surprised it's still up....

 

Sarah977
Level 10
Sayulita, Mexico

@Helen350  I've noticed that it takes a few days for some of those spam posts to disappear- I guess it's not a matter of some algorithm automatically deleting them- maybe the moderators actually check them out first.

Stephanie
Online Community Manager
Online Community Manager
London, United Kingdom

We check 'em @Sarah977  - to the spam bin with this!


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Laura2592
Level 10
Frederick, MD

My personal feelings aside, one has to always be careful about noise levels, any noise levels, when cohabitating with a stranger. In college I had a roommate who was an exhibitionist and wanted everyone who lived in the apartment to know what she and her companions got up to nightly. It was irritating if you were trying to study or talk to your mom on the phone so we all agreed to "quiet hours" after a certain time (she, grudingly so as I suspect she got an added frisson thinking that we were all somehow jealous or excited by her romantic life. We weren't.) 

 

I would approach this in the same way in any AIrbnb shared space and clearly state the rules around bedtimes, noise, etc. If your guest doesn't follow the rules, you can be justified in interrupting the noise with a discreet knock on the door and gentle reminder. Your review can mention "so and so was pleasant but had some trouble following house rules about our quiet hours." No need to even broach the topic of someone's romantic life. If your space has thin walls, you might want to mention that to your guests too. Some homes are really terrible for sound proofing and its something I would like to know up front. 

 

I do find it more worrisome when people are not considerate about cleaning up the results of these encounters. That can actually be a health hazard not to mention gross. 

Helen350
Level 10
Whitehaven, United Kingdom

Indeed @Laura2592 @Juan63 ! The issue is cleanliness & noise. Not cleaning up after yourselves is disrespectful, & noise that can be heard by the host/housemates/neighbors is disrespectful. Airbnb was founded on RESPECT when home sharing , not entitled, selfish behaviour. Discretion & low (no) noise belong to the guests' obligations in all stays, especially when sharing a private HOME with the host.

Juan63
Level 10
San Antonio, TX

Deal with it. It's part of hosting overnight guests.

Sophie1404
Level 2
Brisbane, Australia

Hi everyone, I read everything on this forum this evening, mainly because my boyfriend and I will be guests staying at an entire apart next weekend. You guessed it! We are going to bang! With that said however, even though we have the entire apartment to ourselves we will still be respectful and clean up after ourselves because we care about the reviews that will be given to us. We will keep things discreet and nothing wild. We are new guests, have never been hosted by airbnb before and we are very excited. I feel that people should just stop trying to categorise people as 'uncivilised pigs' or 'too uptight'. We have different preferences when it comes to etiquette and manners, it's just that many of us follow what mainstream dictates as 'manners' and 'etiquettes'. However, what is mainstream for one may not be mainstream for another, we consider things differently and that's what makes us unique.

 

If I were a host, I would be fine with my guests having sex, as long as it isn't loud or disturbing. Because to me sex is a private and intimate matter, not because I don't enjoy sex or sexual sounds. However, if they mess up the environment or leave things for me to clean up, then I wouldn't condemn them for it, but I would consider all aspects of their stay before I review them. Were they first timers, were they considerate in other things, was the damage too bad or can I easily clean this up myself?

 

So yeah, good day everyone!

Nicole-C-0
Level 2
Oakland, CA

I just had guests who engaged in loud sex at least 6-8 times between 11PM and 2:30 AM in both the room and the bathroom complete with loud conversations and singing in the shower. My room is right next door. I'm not averse to others having sex in the slightest. I honestly don't care about others being intimate, but guests should be considerate of others in a shared home environment and try their best to be mindful of noise levels and especially if quiet hours are listed. I'm not getting any sleep hearing the bed banging on the wall, with ass slapping, and a loud female being vocal about her pleasure for hours on end when I have to go to work the next morning. It should be understood that there's a common courtesy when booking rooms in shared homes. It is in my opinion, inappropriate to book a room in an occupied home and not be respectful of quiet hours. If couples want to have loud sex in the bathroom at 2:30 in the morning, they should book a private listing, not a room in a shared house. People who behave that way need to know they are not being considerate of your needs if/when they dishonor house rules like quiet time, and other potential hosts should be made aware if guests are booking inappropriately with rooms in a shared home environment without being considerate of others in a shared home environment. I even had a friend stay once who joined a loud conference call at 4AM. It was not cool, and I told them to keep it down and they didn't. They will never be welcomed back for being so inconsiderate, and I told them it would have been more appropriate to book a private Airbnb where you get the entire place, than it was to talk loudly in the room next door keeping me up. People who have no consideration of others in a shared space have no business staying in or booking in a shared space.  If a guest knows they need to make a lot of noise between midnight and 5am, they should get a private booking. End of discussion. Expecting hosts to experience sleepless nights and that they be nice about being inconvenienced simply to ensure that hosts get good reviews is putting shared home hosts in an exploited position. People who behave inappropriately in others' shared homes is **bleep**ty way to use Airbnb. Whether a paying guest, or not,  it's a given to be respectful or considerate of others in their own homes. Doing whatever you want all hours of the night is really meant for a place all to yourself. Experiencing indecent, disrespectful, rude, inconsiderate, immoral, unconscionable, etc. human beings is bound to happen when we allow strangers into our homes to make ends meet, but we shouldn't have to tolerate inconsiderate behavior. Airbnb would improve this issue greatly by allowing auto disclaimer options for rooms in shared homes that are more supportive of a no noise policy between quiet hours. We shouldn't only have to share our House Rules that get ignored. Quiet hours should be embedded in the listing set up and guests should absolutely abide by that, or get a bad rating. If hosts experience guests breaking this rule, that should forfeit their right to review the host, IMHO. 

Brad241
Level 1
Scottsdale, AZ

I'm not sure what host like you expect. 

I use AirBNB for a meeting place for new people l meet on Tinder.

Ana1136
Level 10
Ohrid, Macedonia (FYROM)

@Brad241 are shared homes more appropriate for your Tinder dates than hotel rooms or whole listings? It would be more comfortable for you if you have privacy if that is the whole point of your booking. 

Sarah977
Level 10
Sayulita, Mexico

@Brad241  Shared home listings are not appropriate to book for Tinder hook-ups. If you book Entire Apt. listings, that's another story. 

Juan63
Level 10
San Antonio, TX

Totally disagree, as long as they are not breaking your rules, not sure why it's the hosts business. 

Sarah977
Level 10
Sayulita, Mexico

@Juan63  Many home-share hosts don't want their place to be used for one-night stands. It just feels uncomfortable to be used as a hook-up venue. That's quite different from guests who are actually a couple having sex, which of course is just normal human activity, and indeed none of a host's business, as long as the guests aren't disturbing others in the household.

Juan63
Level 10
San Antonio, TX

How would you even know it's a tinder date? There's a lot of assuming here.

Sarah977
Level 10
Sayulita, Mexico

@Juan63  You wouldn't necessarily know, that's quite true. But there's a difference between a couple who book a home-share and use it to sleep and bathe and have some sex and maybe prepare a meal together and go out sightseeing and engage nicely with their host. In other words, they give the impression of having a holiday (or maybe they are attending an event or have work-related business in town) and someone who just arrives at night, goes straight to their room for a night of sex and then checks out in the morning. As a home-share host yourself, I'm sure you can understand the difference in the way those two scenarios could make a host feel. With one, a host would feel they are giving a couple a nice home-stay experience, with the other, the host could just feel like it's being used as a brothel. Maybe you have little interaction with your home stay guests, you get lots of one-nighters and it doesn't matter to you one way or the other, but I don't get the sense that most home-share hosts feel that way.

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