Extremely uncomfortable experience

Yuleina0
Level 1
Lille, France

Extremely uncomfortable experience

Hello to all of you,

 

I just had a terrible experience hosting a man who would not stop making racist/sexist comments to me and frequently turned our conversations to sexual subjects. I felt extremely afraid this morning, just as he was getting ready to leave, because he kept offering to 'massage' me, no matter how many times I said no. I felt extremely vulnerable and did not want to leave him all alone in my apartment... so I asked him to leave inmediately with the excuse that the next 'guests' were arriving soon and that I had other things to do.

 

I am a bit surprised there's no other similar discussions and wonder why. Does this simply never happen ? Or people just don't talk about it ? 

 

I have no idea how to proceed next, I am just scared 😞 

3 Replies 3
Jack90
Level 6
Queensland, AU

Hi Yuleina,

 

That sounded like an absolutely terrible experience. You absolutely had the right to evict him from your property the moment that sort of disgusting behaviour happened. Airbnb has a very strong stance against it. 

 

Would definitely contact Airbnb to describe your experience and ask them what they could do for you. Someone like that should not be allowed to use this program and that sort of behaviour should not be tolerated. 

 

Hope you're okay,

 

Jack

Robin4
Level 10
Mount Barker, Australia

@Yuleina0

Hi Yuleina, I understand your comments and have the greatest sympathy for the situation you found yourself in, but this is a frequent post where a guest has crossed the line as far as acceptable behaviour is concerned! And it is almost always towards female hosts. 

The worst part about this situation is, it is a total invasion of your rights and I can understand it chipping away at an enormous chunk of your tollerance towards males, not just in hosting, but in general! There are times when I am ashamed of my gender just by association!

The other thing, with regard to your hosting, it becomes a form of blackmail....if you refuse you will be treated negatively in the review process and that is completely unfair.

Your first priority Yuleina is to yourself, keep in your mind that this 'guest' is not typical of the community, you may never strike another one! This person however knows you and knows a considerable part of what your life entails! There is every probablility that he will just regard this episode as a 'failed conquest' and move on. But your duty now is to minimise any chance of repercussion so, if I were you, I would leave a fairly short generic review of him....something along the lines of......"Xxxxx communication was good but his expectation of the hosting did not sit well with me, and should he wish to book again I would respectfully decline his request"!

Yuleina, you have not accused him of anything, you have not given him any course for retribution and yet you have warned others that this guest is less than ideal....You have not given him a reason to retaliate against you for something that was in no way your fault. If you choose not to review this guest his review (if he leaves one) will still show up after the 14 day review window has expired and the last thing you want is some objectionable statement by him that you can't respond to, so this is why you must review him.

 

As much as it may hurt you Yuleina, I would let it go at that! If you 'Flag' this guest and report his abnoxious behaviour there is a possibility that you may get yourself into the situation you are wishing to avoid. What you want right now is this person out of your life and the less you antagonise him the more chance that will happen....he will just move on! But you have done your duty and warned others to beware.

A terrible situation Yuleina, I am so sorry for you but diplomacy here is your best path, and good luck, karma will get this turkey sooner or later, just try to get a bit of that confidence back and just continue to be a great host, hey!

Cheers.....Rob 

Kate157
Level 10
SF, CA

As a female who is often alone in the house with guests (my husband works days and sometimes does music jobs at night) I feel for you totally. I would not allow him to get away with it. I would report him to Airbnb, I would flag his profile, and my review would definitely mention inappropriate comments of a sexual nature. This kind of sexual aggression should not be tolerated in any way. To make a host frightened in her own home is outrageous. I read a post yesterday that told of a guest propositioning the host's roommate as soon as he knew the host would be gone from the house for awhile.