Setting boundaries

[Mims0]

Recently I had a return guest, who asked if her son's girlfriend could " hangout here and kill some time for an hour or so while waiting to go to his graduation. I said Sure. Am washing their dishes( sigh) and look out the window and they are on my 36 year old horse, with no halter or anything!?! I went out and said " I  expect and would appreciate you ask permission before you handle my horses, let alone get on them."   Was completely shocked! It states in my profile" The horses are friendly and love meeting people. Am happy to introduce you". It doess NOT say help yourself to my horses by yourself... then the next thing i know is the young girl is taking a shower and getting ready here!? Who does this without permission?  I feel the guest knew the girlfriend was going to be getting ready here, as she brought a suitcase witha change of clothes and such in it. And when i came in from outside and she was in the shower, the guest tired to give me some money,which i declined. It wasnt about the money.  It was about the clear lack of respect for my home, my animals and myself.  Then to pour salt on the wound, she left me 4 stars, when she clearly had a 5 star stay! It was her birthday,so i made her a beautiful necklace for a gift,she was supposed to bring a cake....and evenbought him a card & made her son a gift for his graduation. I accomodated her request to allow the young girl to hang out here so they did not have to go to a restaurant or park et al.. that was just soooo wrong....
 

[Annette33]

@Mims0, I'm pretty sure you're talking about your guest Cara, who was at your place before and whom you invited to come back and ride your horse. Still, that is no invitation for somebody else even to just go at it without asking you for permission! So sorry she took advantage of your giving nature.
interesting that her second review was short, not mentioning any of all the extra goodies you provided her with. That already tells a lot. Just goes to show that we hosts always need to carefully guard our boundaries - and speak up, which you actually did regarding the horse. (and that's why you got the 4 star review this time, I bet).
I don't think she will be back - she knows she caused you grief and offering money as she  did is inappropriate. But in case she wants to come back, don't let her. There are much more appreciative guests out there for you, you don't need her.
Too bad you didn't say anything about any of this in your review of her, that would have helped future hosts to avoid such a manipulator. If there is still time, I would perhaps post a short response on your own page under her review, very polite, short, with the right  wording to clarify the picture just a bit.

[Mims0]

Thankyou for your feedback Annette! Yes, I did invite them back and said invited then to ride, which i would have been happy to have accommodated, in my presense since she stated she had not ridden in many years. In the 30 years I have had Beau, nobody has ever ridden him without me being present. Too many people claim to know how to ride,and almost all dont. They dont even know how to tack up a horse. Which is fine, however WHY I am always present. I love sharing the horse expperience with people. They are amazing animals 🙂 It does NOT give anyone permission to get on a horse without even asking,let alone putting a complete stranger on one. I really was shocked.  Appreciate your suggestions 🙂

[Mims0]

and i couldt agree more about why she gave me 4 stars! :)....i actually asked her why she only gave me 4 stars, when i went over and beyond to accomodate her and her needs? she ssaid ti was because she was not as comfortable this time. She said her husband " found my attire offensive" I had on very baggy long nike shorts and a tank top with a u neck. no clevage. It was 80 plus degrees, and was working in the yard..what am i supposed to wear? I wore the same thing the first time she was here and didnt seem to bother anyone then? sigh....

[Annette33]

@Mims0 , just goes to show that sometimes, return customers want more and more and more....they "innocently" ask you for a "small" favor, use everything you give, and then are "displeased". Good riddance - sorry for that lesson you had to endure. Thank God, most people/guests are NOT like that! 

[Mims0]

:(...... appreciate your words,advice and encouragement and truth:)

[Branka-and-Silvia0]

@Mims0 they probably think if something is not forbidden then it is allowed. You are obviously to kind. For example we have in our house rules that visitors are not allowed and it's a reason for termination of their stay without refund. Not because it would bother me they have someone come to visit for an hour and drink coffee but bc it would easily turn into whole day visit with shower, meal , party and sleepover. 

[Mims0]

Hi Branka & Sylvia!
 Thanks for reaching out.Appreciate it very much! Appreciate all the advice from our host world.:) 
  My house rules do state Home is for registared guests only. I did give Cara permission for the girlfriend to be at the house from 330-500. They left at 130 to go pick her up in Reno. I did NOT give permission for her to shower and such. In fact I had no idea she was even in the shower,until i came in from cleaning the barn& cara came up to me with a 20.00 bill saying this is for her shower. I was speechless.... Trying to get bids on cleaning a handmade,handloomed 100% antique wool runner....:(..

[Mims0]

ps.. have a friend who is croatian 🙂 i hope to travel there some day! The pics he posts when he goes there on holiday are stunning!