Educating an Incommunicative Guest

[Brian2036]

I just had to write a review for a millennial-generation guest who clearly does not understand the importance of communications.

 From the start his communications were terse and I nearly declined the reservation.

Booking message was terse and made me nervous:

”check in late checkout early fishing trip with father.”

OK; first, how late, how early, and why are you telling me rather than asking?

Besides that why are you booking for one person rather than two? Or possibly more than two?

After I made it clear that I would not accept this booking without clarification the guest responded, after several hours, with a little more information.

He ignored further attempts to engage in discussion.

They did arrive well after dark with no ETA and I had to chase them down after my watchdog informed me that there was someone out there in the darkness that didn’t belong here.

After I guided them to the Chalet they were polite and friendly and mentioned that they had been driving around sightseeing in the area all day and “maybe should have checked in before dark.”

Apparently they were oblivious to the fact that I am not a hotel desk clerk and might have things to do other than sitting around waiting for them.

 We had no contact during their two-day stay, even when I offered to give them an extra day for free, because the weather had been unpleasant for outdoor activities.

They did not bother to notify me when they left, which again left us sitting around waiting to go up and clean.

 I was not surprised that he didn’t bother to write a review. Today was the last day of the review period and I debated ignoring it myself, but finally decided that I have an obligation to provide information to other hosts.

 I wrote:

“Guest and his father were polite and friendly when they arrived and left our Chalet clean and neat.

Hosts may want to remind Guest of the importance of communication from the pre-booking message through checkout and review.”

I rated him 2* for communication, and, after serious thought, checked “Would not host again” in hopes that it will bar him from using IB in the future.

This sort of thing may not bother hosts who have dealt with much worse, or those who use self checkin, but for us the unnecessary annoyance was not worth the price of a 2-night stay.

 I would appreciate the opinions of other hosts regarding my review.

[Z-2]

@Brian2036 Some people just think like they don’t need communication, just pay, stay and left. I have a guest have reserve my house more than 2 months ago but not even one message to me. Even though I have send them 2 messages after his reservation. He is not the first timer and have one good review. I do hope he can communicate with me. But some people may be just that type of person. Most of my not communicated guests are from VRBO.. so far, those people are not trouble maker. So I am OK.

[Sarah977]

@Brian2036  Review sounds fair to me. A lot of guests really don't seem to get  that messaging a host whose home you anticipate staying in is not the same as sending a 5 word text message to your friends. If a guest doesn't respond to Airbnb messages, I'd try texting or whatsapping them, telling them you require a response to the Airbnb message.

[Marie6762]

Wow- that’s extreme, and so much trouble for you!

 I’ve had a couple reluctant communicators whom I’ve “hounded” for necessary info.  As a home host, I try not to resort to self checkin for obvious safety/comfort reasons.  I don’t use IB, and if I don’t get sufficient info initially, I don’t accept the booking.  My acceptance rate isn’t stellar as a result, but hasn’t affected Superhost stats.  

If getting an ETA is difficult, I’ll text or call.  With the rare 1 or 2 I couldn’t pin down, I sent self check-in instructions and “pounced” on them with motherly concern & cheer at the first opportunity!  Passive aggressive “revenge”, as it probably is what they were trying to avoid all along😉

[Lorna170]

We are NOT hotels, and more and more guests are treating us like hotel desk clerks whose only concern is giving up the keys.  AirBnB needs to promote CONVERSATION between the host and guest, to ensure that the accommodation is a good fit, and that the host is comfortable with the guest.  Now that so many properties are stand-alone and not shared, guests book us like hotel rooms and just don't get that they need to communicate beyond sending an ETA.  

[Chill-and-Relax0]

Brian2036 If you think that's frustrating imagine this type of "communication" from guest requesting a 45-day stay in a shared space. 

Your review was pretty fair.

[Brian2036]

@Sarah977 @Chill-and-Relax0 @Lorna170 @Marie6762 @Z-2 

Thanks for your comments.

I’ve been reprimanded repeatedly and recently for being intolerant, so I was starting to wonder if I’m too obstreperous to interact with the public, but if this inconsiderate attitude is what I have to expect from guests, I QUIT.

 I really don’t have to do this. If I wanted to be a hotel clerk I could be employed within an hour. 

Wouldn’t that be fun for everyone.

I’m just really curious about where this “your message bores me so I’ll ignore it” attitude comes from.

 I’m guessing that it has something to do with instant communication overload or possibly MMORPGs where players are encouraged to perpetrate all manner of abusive and violent acts upon one another.

Perhaps anyone who appears on a screen is assumed to be a computer construct and not an actual human.

I’m reminded of a woman I dated several years ago (WHEN I WAS SINGLE) who quite nice and was an experienced primary school teacher.

Her two teenage children were horrible.

When I made the unfortunate mistake of bringing them all to my home for a weekend and, in exasperation, mentioned some particularly obnoxious and disrespectful behavior, she responded with,

”You have to understand that they weren’t raised to be considerate of other people.”

WHAT??? Atypically, I was at a total loss for words, and I still don’t know what an appropriate response would have been.

So I’m wondering if this is now considered to be “the new normal.” 

Anyway, most of our guests don’t behave like I’m a video game NPC, so I’m planning to reserve our space for them and reject anyone who can’t find the time to respond to necessary communications.

[Pat271]

The correspondence you described is very typical for me.

I think a lot of what is acceptable has to do with what type of check-in/check-out process is in place. I have self check-in, therefore I am not inconvenienced if the guest comes in late or checks out early. In fact, I’m really happy when they tell me they are checking out early, so we can start cleaning earlier. Very few of my guests actually drop me a message when they leave. I do agree that knowing the actual time that the guest leaves would be nice.  

As you did, I do try to get a bit more info and engage a little before booking to get an idea of fit. If  booked, I send a Welcome message the day after arrival, which they sometimes respond to, sometimes not. Then, I send a goodbye and safe travels message after we determine the state of the property after checkout, which they sometimes respond to, sometimes not.

Keep in mind that your guests might also not have notifications turned on, so may not know you are trying to engage with them. Asking guests to turn on notifications if they have not already upon acceptance of the booking helps a lot.

I certainly prefer that the guests respond instantly and enthusiastically when I try to engage with them. However, only in the case of extreme radio silence do I mention it in the review.

[J-Renato0]

@Brian2036 

Good review! It was constructive to educate the guest and to help other hosts.
When a guest is not too bad but not good enough, I think we should help him/her to become a good guest.

[M199]

@Brian2036 

IMO, your review is honest and fair based in the situation you describe.

I do and would feel the same.  Guests who annoy me such as communication laxes, unruly children, get an automatic "Will not host again".  Guests need to learn the etiquette of Airbnb.  As a few have mentioned, we are not hotel clerks.  We run our businesses to our standards.

[Kelly149]

@Brian2036 I think if you have standards “outside the norm” you have to convey that to guests. 

“Sorry, we require more communication than it looks like you’re comfortable with. Please cancel & I’ll get your refund approved.”

and then they either go away or improve. ABB guests are often like toddlers, they will not READ or infer what you expect. They must be told. 

“I see that you’re asking for late arrival. Tell me what time and I’ll let you know if we can accommodate or not.”

”we plan our day around your departure, please let me know when you’ve locked up and gone.”

”I’m sorry if this seems fussy to you, but this is our home & we don’t operate on hotel front desk standards here. Of course if you were after a hotel stay, I understand & I’m sure you can find something more to your liking.”

The customer is not always right when he’s in your home. And no is a complete sentence. 

[Richard531]

@Brian2036I thought your review was fair. @Kelly149 I thought your quote examples were spot on.  Great stuff there!  I find that I'm more aligned with @Pat271 in their experiences with communication.  

I'd say about half of all guests we host say literally nothing from the moment IB is completed (or booking approval takes place), all the way up until the review (or they leave no review and there's zero communication at all).   On the flip side, I've found that the vast, vast, vast majority of guests are just fine related to shenanigans/damage.  Even if they don't communicate at all.  I think we have scary house rules and that maybe keeps the idiots at bay?  Don't get me wrong, I find it extremely rude that they don't communicate, but that's just kinda how it is. 

I know I'm not like that when I'm a guest, but I'm not a self-centered jerk.  The brutal reality is: since the beginning of time, most humans are self-centered jerks.  Especially when they are paying for a product or service.  So we just deal with it.  I'll leave them a crummy review discussing how they were radio silent for their stay and that's the end of it.  But I'd still host them again.  

That is, if someone stays in our home, communicates zero, leaves the home in great shape, and pays $500/night. . .  What more do you really want from them, I guess?

[Sarah977]

@Richard531  It depends on what sort of listing you have, too. An entire house listing with self-check-in host might not be that fussed about non-communicative guests. But non-communcation with a home-share listing, or a listing where the host has to check the guests in (one host I know of has to have her guests meet her at her home a mile from the listing and she accompanies them there, as they would never be able to find the place otherwise).  In those situations, it's a real hassle if guests fail to communicate, answer questions or let you know they received the instructions. 

I  have to be here to check guests in to my home share, and while almost all my guests have been really good communicators, one woman who was really good about letting me know her flight had been delayed by several hours, and called to let me know she had finally arrived at the airport an hour away, then decided to just walk around town and go out for dinner, when I was expecting her to arrive an hour after she had phoned from the airport. She kept me waiting up until midnight, not knowing what had happened to her.

And not all hosts make $500/night, far from it. Putting up with rudeness for $40/night isn't exactly worth it.

[Brian2036]

@Richard531 

Interesting perspective.  It’s giving me something to think about.

My situation is somewhat different than yours in that you seem to have a viable business, whereas ours is really nothing but a tax write-off.

We might be better off not accepting any live guests and just inventing imaginary ones.

 I’d be more than a little nervous about lying to the IRS, and am not willing to risk it, although I’ve never heard of them accusing a taxpayer of reporting more income than they actually received.

On the other hand it might appear to be a money-laundering scheme and I certainly don’t want to go down that road.

Having foreign property is enough of a red flag for them already.

So I guess we have to keep up appearances by accepting guests who demonstrate common (or maybe uncommon) courtesy and are not likely to be destructive.

Breaking even is not undesirable as long as it doesn’t drive me nuts.

[Katrina79]

@Brian2036 @While I understand your frustration with the communication I don’t agree on the review. You should have left the communication out of it and put it in private feedback. It sounds like this guest is open to improving his behaviour in the future with a suggestion from you in private feedback. You’ll have to remember not every guest will be equipped with the same level of communication as you. In fact everyone is so different and diverse in behaviours and skill sets. If you let the nuances frustrate you, you will quickly lose sight of the positives your guest’s have to offer. Interestingly enough I just read an article relating to this topic. A neuroscientist is claiming the left side of the brain is taking over while the right side is functioning at a level of right hemisphere damage in the Western World. The right side is more attune to navigating relationships. Here is the article: 

https://www.cbc.ca/radio/ideas/neuroscientist-argues-the-left-side-of-our-brains-have-taken-over-our...