Guests' pretension

[Lucilla14]

Hi, I am Lucilla, I am an Italian host. I started hosting just two months and a half ago, I just reached the superhost status and I never wrote on the community before so sorry if I did some mistake as where to start this conversation or such 🙂  

I have a big problem. I think I became a superhost because I am really attentive to the guests needs and I care, but sometimes I don't know how to say no or making them respect me.

I work multiple jobs and I don't have a proper schedule so when I started I put flexible check in hours. I was convinced there was a better communication with the guests. So after months of people arriving 3 hours late or simply without telling me the hour they arrive, I narrowed and narrowed the check in hours until I reached 13-15. The problem is this: people still don't care. Now I ask the time they arrive before I accept the request and I wrote everything on the ad too, but sometimes the conversation goes in a direction that I can't control.

Specifically: I received a request for the midst of October. A couple and a baby. They immediately tell me they are gonna be arriving at night, without asking if it was OK. I say OK, you can arrive at night but I won't be home after 8 o clock so you need to come before that. There are no shops open around where I can leave the keys, the one open are far and it is really complicated in Italy if you don't speak the language to find your way in the suburbs. They replied that since they have the baby they don't know when they are coming, and they added this: we don't know Also because if we don't get tired maybe we wanna have dinner in Milan.

Now, I am not a hotel. I specified the check in hours. I rent rooms in my own home and they are tremendously cheap. I already told them I will be there at night and that's already a favour. I am offended, I can understand you could have problems with the baby but is it my problem if you wanna have dinner in Milan? I don't know how to tell them they are being rude in a way that I am not rude. Finally I told them that I will hide the keys somewhere if they are not here by 8, but that I prefer that they come earlier. But I feel like I am not dealing well with the situation, I really don't wanna accept their request. What would you do?

Sorry I know it s a long post, I wanted to make you understand how I feel. Sometimes I feel unconfortable with the pretensions but then I don't feel like I have the right to say anything, or I am just afraid of a bad review.

Thanks for your time, 

Lucilla

[Lisa723]

@Lucilla14 why don't you just tell guests who want to arrive outside of your check-in hours, "I'm sorry but it's not possible; if you arrive outside of check-in hours you will not gain entry."

[Lucilla14]

 You are right, I should be able to write a simple post like that. I replied like that the first time, but then they asked me if I could arrange the Check in in another way, like leaving the keys somewhere or ask somebody, and I felt guilty somehow, at fault, and I couldn't be direct anymore. It's a really big issue for me, I have to learn how not to wave

[Sarah977]

@Lucilla14  Being professional in answering guests' rude demands is not being rude on your part. Please try to remember and understand this. You have a busy life and guests need to respect your check-in times. It's very difficult to be a host if you don't put your own needs, schedules, and self-respect first. it just leads to a multitude of problems, because guests can be really inconsiderate if you don't stand your ground. And once you start accommodating their inconsiderate demands, they will continue to walk all over you.

The response @Lisa723  suggests is not at all rude, it is just businesslike. 

I raised three children. Responsible, mature parents know to start out on any venture ahead of time as issues with the kids can slow you down. It makes no sense whatsoever for these people to say they don't know when they're coming because they have a baby. That's absurd. And to say they may stop for dinner and expect you to just wait around for whenever they might show up is so so rude. You're right- they just don't care. 

[Lucilla14]

Thank you so much. These are probably the words I needed to hear. I need to stand my ground and remember that being professional is not a fault on my part, that saying no it's not as bad as it sounds. Thank you very much everybody, I was feeling kind of lost

[Kathie21]

@Lucilla14  I think that making your check in window so very narrow may actually make the problem worse - people may think that you can't really mean it!  And they'd be right, since you accommodate people arriving way outside it. 

Change your wording to something like - "Check in is beween X and Y.  Check-in outside those times will not be possible.  This is not a hotel, this is not my first job, so I need you to tell me the time you will arrive so I can schedule everything in my day to check you in. The time you arrive should be something you tell me when you send me your request and YOU CAN'T CHANGE THE CHECK IN TIME WITHOUT CHECKING WITH ME FIRST THAT IT'S OK.  If you are unexpectedly delayed on arrival day please let me know as quickly as possible, otherwise I may not be there and you may not be able to gain entry until I return (which could mean a very long wait for you, or I may even be away for the night).

For the current issue, simply say "I'm sorry, but my normal check-in window is X to Y.  I have already changed my schedule to accommodate your much later arrival, but I cannot check you in after 8pm as I will not be here.  If you cannot arrive by 8pm, please feel free to cancel your reservation and I will agree to a full refund."

[Lucilla14]

Hi @Kathie0, I can't seem to make the tag work on my phone XD I appreciate the rephrasing you did and I will definitely borrow it. As far as the check in windows, you should know I took steps before landing there, it was 13 - 19, then it became 13-17, and now it's very narrow and I know that. But you should know that with the majority of the guests this is not an issue at all. They ask me if they can come another hour and if am available I say yes. The problem are people who can't care less and don't read the description. They don't tell me which time in between the window they arrive, they don't ask if it is OK to come later, they disappear when I ask them and they arrive three hours late without notice. It is not a matter of time window, I can assure you, it is a matter of manners. Thank you very much for your comment I will totally use your words in the listing

[Linda108]

There are two sides to your situation.  One is you are juggling a lot of issues -  two listings and a job situation with variable hours.  The other is that you are in the hospitality business which apparently you are good at in that you attend to the guest needs and provide a good value for them.  How to be a professional host when you are learning what professsional really means as we all had to when we first started. 

I agree with the other hosts that you need to be clear and firm with guests that are unreasonable, but also you might need to find help with the whole check in situation.  You are going to drive yourself crazy trying to do it all.  I think you need to find help with the check in process.    There are many factors for travelers that affect their ability to arrive at a designated time that are not under their control.  Perhaps a friend or family member can assist and you can pay them a small fee for check in help.  One part of being a professional host is to make decisions that do not stretch us too far and realize we are in this business for the long run.  Good luck and best wishes for your success!!

[Lucilla14]

I think you make an excellent point, I am working on that. I am actually driving my self crazy XD sometimes I get really nervous and frustrated to the point I am about to cry and that's not healthy. Thanks for the comment, I really needed support

[Nancy680]

Please forgive me because I am new to Airbnb, but since there are no suggestions recommending keyless entry, I thought I'd mention it.  If you don't mind guests entering your home when you're not there, have you thought about using one?   Sorry if my suggestion is inappropriate.  As I just wrote, I am new to Airbnb, but I've stayed in many private homes and apartments through other sites, and many had keyless entry.   I realize it will an initial expense, but it should pay for itself after a while.   It sounds as if you are experiencing a lot of stress and this might be a good solution for both you and your guests.  However, I totally agree that guests should do their best to arrive during specified hours.  I would never give anyone a bad review just because I couldn't make it on time, especially if there were specified hours.  However, sometimes arrival time is out of a guest's control.  Once I got stuck in traffic for hours and arrived very late.  It was a gated community and I couldn't get through the gate at the entrance to the community.   I didn't want to wake the owner so I checked into a hotel.  When I told her, she offered me a free night.   Good luck.  Hope I helped in some way.

[Lucilla14]

Yes, a friend of mine told me about keyless check in, but it is now too expensive for me. I am considering that too as a solution. 

I don't mind guest that arrive late because of delays that don't depend on them, I also had a guest who told me that couldn't check in on time and so he would go to a hotel, and I waited for him anyway because I could that night. I have no problem stretching out my hours, as soon as my guest are reasonable and polite and I am able to, of course XD 

What I hate and makes me nervous are people who don't reply to my messages, that desappear. Recently a guest was supposed to be here at 20, he arrived at 23 without saying a word. That I think is unacceptable. 

Thanks for your contribution 🙂 

[Ange2]

@Lucilla14   If you cannot install a self-entry keypad or get someone to hang around for them I would tell them your place is not suitable, you are unable to meet their needs and wish them well in finding other acommodation. I have had a few of these and I cannot accommodate their needs without it being cost prohibitive for me (paying someone to wait for them for hours) and I cannot have self-entry.  Setting boundaries is key to making sure guests do not take advantage and you do not burn out.  There is nothing wrong with saying you are unable to meet their needs. From what you say they seem rather disrespectful and entitled with their demands, maybe a precursor of what they will be like as guests - not a good omen.

Or are they new to Airbnb?  If I have new guests I always tell them that Airbnb is not a hotel, it is a unique experience in a private home;  I do not offer 24 hour concierge service;  to please read the description, amenties, rules and check-in times so they know whether this listing will meet their expectations, and to please feel free to ask any questions.

[Lucilla14]

When I told them as you say they just replied: yes, we know, thank you very much! 

I just think sometimes people are rude without knowing they are. 

I decided to accept them anyway because it is just one night, and I promised to myself I won't be bother if they have problems to check in while I am not there. I am busy from 20 to 22 that night, I can't reply to the phone, I told them that, if they have problems it's their fault, they will wait for me. 

But anyway I really had to hear what the community had to say, for all the other problems I have and don't know how to deal with. 

Thank you all

[Ute42]

.

Hi @Lucilla14 ,

as we all know guests don't read our listing descriptions. But they look at our pictures.

May I therefore suggest You make this picture the No 2 picture of Your listing:

[Lucilla14]

This is a REALLY good idea! Thank you!