Superhost spotlight: filling a home with life after loss

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Superhost spotlight: filling a home with life after loss

Superhost Marianne suddenly found herself alone in the craftsman she and her late husband renovated together. To pick herself up, she launched her own business, opening her California home to guests from across the world. In her own words, she shares how hosting gave her life new meaning and what it means to be a female entrepreneur:

 

There was something beneficial about having life, having humans coming back into the house.

 

When I lost Mike, there was such a huge sense of loss, emptiness, a void. He had gone into surgery in May of 2017 for what was supposed to be a standard procedure, but there were complications and he didn’t make it. Four days before this, we had just celebrated 26 years together.

 

My daughter had moved home to stay with me. Almost a year later, she moved away and all of a sudden, I found myself alone in the house.

 

I don’t remember a specific incident or reason why I started hosting. It just kept showing up in my awareness. And then I took a trip in September of 2017 to see friends in Oregon, and I stayed in an Airbnb there. The host was a lovely fellow, and I explained what had happened. It started to dawn on me that being a host could be a possibility for me.

 

With my husband’s death, his pension ended and that was a big loss of income. I work for myself as a teacher, writer, and landscaper. I just wasn’t in a place where I could focus.

 

In my imagination, Airbnb was a source of easy-peasy cash flow. But it is work. And definitely being a single woman, I did have concerns about safety. I bought locks for the guest rooms and my room, but I think I’ve only locked my door once when there was a fellow checking in very late at night. A friend of mine who is also a host suggested I write the description of my home to attract the people I want here, and so far it seems to have worked. Maybe it’s naive, but I have a certain trust that for the most part, people are good.

 

Meet Marianne.png

 

Hosting became a way to be a little less of a hermit. It became a reason why I had to keep the house clean, a reason why I put on a brave face. You have to pick yourself up a little bit. Those were all good things.  

 

I remember Mike with each person who comes in. It’s both saddening and empowering.

 

He loved working on this house. He was a carpenter. When we bought the house in 1995, it was trashed, a fixer-upper, and he made it such a beautiful place to live. In some ways, I get to experience his spirit, his energy when people come into the house, notice the woodwork, and say, “Oh, wow.”

 

I feel so proud. I feel it for both of us. How lovely it is that I can share that.

 

In the beginning, I would tell guests I had just lost my husband. Then bit by bit, it was no longer the first thing I shared.

 

I’ve been incredibly blessed with the guests I’ve had. Since I live in Santa Monica, they wanted to go to the beach, to the pier, and to Venice, so I didn’t really see them. I still needed lots of space and lots of quiet, so it was perfect.

 

Occasionally, we would chat over a cup of coffee or sit out on the porch swing with a glass of wine and the ocean breeze. Some of the guests were just lovely people to talk to. It was a reminder that life goes on, as cliche as it sounds.

 

Meet Marianne 2.png

 

One guest was a young woman. I hadn’t mentioned that Mike had died, but maybe she noticed his pictures around the house. She told me that she had lost her boyfriend a few months earlier in an accident. So I found myself in this incredible place of being able to open up not just the house, but a space for her to talk about her loss with someone who understood. And for me, she was someone I could talk about Mike with. There was common ground, an incredible synchronicity. We’ve texted a few times. She may or may not come back, but for a little while we touched each others lives.

 

As hosts, we share space, but sometimes it’s a place where we share so much more.

 

In opening up my home, I was able to give something even when I felt so depleted.

 

Now I have my own business. And there is so much to be said about being your own boss and having complete say over how your life evolves. There’s a real sense of power a woman feels when she’s running her own business.

 

It may sound a little woo-woo to people, but there’s something so sacred about welcoming a stranger. As hosts, we serve as guides to weary travelers. And when we are aching, hurt, and lonely, that interaction and connection provides a little bit of healing.

 

Photos courtesy of Marianne

90 Replies 90
Linda1227
Level 2
Wyoming, United States

I’m so sorry for your loss.  A  couple of years ago my brother came to live with me in a big home that I had rented.  He passed away four months later in a tragic accident.   I was totally lost, rattling around in that big house and realized the experience of losing someone you actually live with is far different than the experience of losing a loved one that does not live in the home with you.  I gave some thought to Airbnb but found a college gal that needed only a six-month lease, she was graduating in December so she moved in with me and what a difference that made as far as the energy in the home and my energy.   I decided to leave that home and go back to Wyoming where I am now.  On the property is a little cabin.  After buying a hot tub and putting  electricity in the little cabin it hit me one night to do an Airbnb.  I am 30 miles out of town by myself with my dogs and I just wanted the energy of having someone else on the property and sharing my little slice of heaven again.   Realizing how short life is and how nice it is to share what you love with others has made such a big difference in my life.  Doing Airbnb has given me something to do as well as giving me company and energy I missed.  It has allowed me to meet so many folks.   I’m so happy for you and hope that this is healing that big hole that was left by the loss of your husband.  Thank goodness for you wanting to share your home and your love with others. In your healing I’m sure that you are healing others. You’re strength, your light and your love is just what this world needs.   Thank you.

Eunice16
Level 2
Ferndale, CA

My story is similar.  After losing my husband if 60 years I faced the same things ..started up my airbnb about 8 months after, it has been a godsend for me .  i love my guests and haven't had any I didn't in the 2 years I've been doing this ..a wonderful supplement ends great learning experience .

Beverley-and-Tony0
Level 3
Thames, New Zealand

With all the pain and grief in this world that we are exposed to, being an Airbnb host and part of this community shows us how many wonderful people there are out ther.  It gives us opportunities to interact with others, touch other peoples lives, give hope and hospitality to those travellers who can afford to travel locally or internationally. We use only airbnb for hosting as we feel a level of safety and security combinedcwith our own wisdom is the best way for us in our senior years.  We're really loving it too Marianne. If you travel to New Zealand we would lovecto host you. Beverley

Celeste89
Level 3
San Miguel de Cozumel, Mexico

 I would love to know your listing name, because I am thinking of coming to that area. I am also in the same situation of having lost my husband of 16 years a year and a half ago this month. I had to finish up the remodel on the duplex we had purchased specifically to be a vacation rental. One side of it was done last year and we’ve been booked up since August 2018 when I opened it. It’s called Aquarius Soak & Chill In Truth or Consequences New Mexico. I’m busy trying to finish up the other side now. This project has really been a help to me to keep me busy while coping with my own loss and grief. Thank you for sharing your experience.

Celeste

Adriana216
Level 2
Palo Alto, CA

Thanks for sharing your story Marianne. It is so inspiring that I would also want to share mine with the community. Also, a way to make new friends with other hosts around the world who experienced or have increased awareness of the suffering and yet the resiliece of it all.  I have always said that hosting is a transformational human experience. More wonderful guest will come your way and lift your spirits.

How do I go  about sharing my story with Airbnb?. Thanks!

Adriana

 

John_Liz0
Level 2
Gatlinburg, TN

Thank you for sharing your lovely story. Sorry for your loss.

Ginny14
Level 2
Sacramento, CA

Marianne,

How courageous your are, not only to deal with this immesne grief, but also, to take on the challenges of running this entreprenuership on your own.  I have been hosting and guesting for over five years now, and I can honestly say, some very magical experiences have happened both as a host and a guest for my family....maybe you'd like to or have been getting out and about traveling and experiencing other Airbnb hosts.  It will also fuel your spirit, and your obvious zest for humanity, community and life!

My best regards,

Ginny

June-And-Liam0
Level 2
Catonsville, MD

Your story resonated with me.  I lost my husband in 2016 and my son and I moved into our home.  It took me almost 6 months to unpack.  

We started hosting in 2017 as a way of filling the gaps financially and also to meet new friends.  I've learned a lot of things and am still learning.  

Thanks for sharing your story. 

Coni8
Level 2
Manzanillo, MX

Hello Marianne just read your story, I am sorry for your loss but I am glad that you now through your place at Airbnb can experience the pleasure to met and help others, I agree when you say we are welcoming strangers and that can be amazing at the end because sometimes we do not just provide a place to sleep but can make a difference through the service.

Saludos!!

Coni

Brenda-and-Geoff0
Level 2
Powell River, CA

We never know what life has in store for us...and we can never stop reaching out in faith and courage. Well-done...! I agree that the majority of people are good-hearted and lovely. 

Nuku0
Level 2
Secaucus, NJ

So inspiring & reminded my very young cousin’s life. First of all thank you so much for sharing dear. Year 2017 my family went to Canada to visit my brother in-law after heard he was dying. I thought he must bed resting. We found him he was only remained bones on his body with so big smile. He wasn’t able to walk but he made a huge project building rooms. He passed away last year. Now  my cousin’s heart is broken but making good income with her two boys that late husband worked so hard for his family.  Marianne love & hugs to you dear. 

Hello Marianne,  Your story is very similar to mine.  I lost my wonderful husband 10 years ago and my sweet son 10 months before that.  I have only been doing airbnb for a year but it certainly helps fill a void - even if only temporarily - to welcome new friends to my home.  Thanks for sharing, it makes me feel part of something bigger.  Donna Nethercott

Wauh Marianne, you´ve touched my heart and soul, I have goose bumps while readig your true inspiring story. 

You know what? I am very new in Air bnb, acquaintance told me about it in some years ago, but didn´t took seriously. Being one from those mentioned before " inviting strangers" . Now, as I am still learning and reading, clicking here and there collecting important informations, evaluating  on how community works and which kind of people are around in here, would love to say that I come closer and closer and start feeling more secure and comfortable believing I am in the right place.  Your story  strengtherning and  encourage. Many thanks for sharing with us.

 

Stay blessed and keep on moving............

Dee20
Level 2
Hawaii, United States

u go gir!  Hawaii awaits  you, if you wish to visit, comeone down! d

Helen427
Level 10
Auckland, New Zealand

@Marianne0, Mike will be looking over you, as loved ones do with a twinkle in his eye, long may you have peace and happiness.

 

God bless and may one day we meet.

 

All the best from New Zealand