All-adult group of guests

[David-and-Annie0]

Hi everyone, here I am again turning to this community: Lately I’ve had a few guests who requested to book get very angry with me b/c I politely and thoroughly explained that our place is not really suited for all-adults groups and is best for 1 or 2 small families (3 bedrooms: 1 has a king bed, 1 a queen bed, and the last one is kid-themed with 2 sets of bunk beds. City says we can have 8 occupants/guests) Not only are the bunk beds not very comfortable for adults, our house itself just isn’t really big enough/comfortable enough for 8 adults to lounge out in. Main table only has 6 places, etc.—however, if it’s a family or 2 with up to 4 kids, it’s not as crowded b/c there is a booth/kids table).

PLUS, I really worry that all-adult groups can equal partying. 

So, when such a group makes a request, I have been just explaining the bedroom layout and nicely asking them to withdraw their request. Most are fine with it. But not the last 2. It’s pretty unnerving to get yelled at by people—even if it’s just in writing. One woman—in all caps—said she would be contacting AIRBNB. 
Maybe you’re wondering why I don’t just state in the listing, “No all-adult groups.” Well, I’ve resisted doing that b/c I worry people will lie about it if I put it out there as something we’re not accepting. Am I worrying too much? We do have cameras outside, and state that we do in our listing, but people seem never to read that b/c they seem unaware the cameras are there—and we’ve caught people doing things they shouldn’t (smoking, etc). 
Anyway, should I just spell it out in the listing? Or not worry about people potentially getting upset about it and continue as is?

Thank you for reading this and for your input! 🙂

[Colleen253]

@David-and-Annie0  You might also be more specific at the beginning of your listing description with " best suited for 1 or 2 small families",  where you have 'well-suited for large families, two families, or small groups'.... and eliminate the reference to 'small groups' which is exactly what a group of 8 adults would be. 

[David-and-Annie0]

Good idea! I like it—gonna implement it.

[Lenore22]

This was exactly what I was going to suggest.

You could also say:  because the bunk beds are only suited for children requests with more than 4 adults will be declined.

And when you get requests, you could always ask how old the children are. (We do because we try to enchufe activities/snacks/amenities that are age-appropriate)

[Mike-And-Jane0]

@David-and-Annie0 I've now stopped being lazy and looked at the captions. I still think you could say the kids room is not suited to adults.

Also can I suggest you change the Peek-a-poo (sic) views of the lakes captions (two off) to something else. Unless this is another example of the UK/USA being separated by a common language I suspect you mean Peek-a-boo. 

[David-and-Annie0]

Wow! Thank you so much for pointing that out!!! Haha!!!! I don’t know how I missed that all this time! Will change right now! 

[Sandra126]

Maybe describe the guests you know will love it and are the best fit. Spell it out:

If you are a young family, this is a wonderful place for you and the children blablabla. Better words, you will know what to write. Rather than saying don't come, say do come. Just a thought.

[Laura2592]

@David-and-Annie0  I think you need to be really clear in your listing. 

We were only allowed to host Maryland guests during our state shut down and I had people from DC and Virginia asking to book (as well as lots of folks fleeing NYC.) I put "MARYLAND GUESTS ONLY" in our title and first thing in our description with the reason why. People from the "DMV" area think of it as all the same place, but this was a special situation. Cars were pulled over with out of state plates for a time and people were sent home or fined. Most guests who booked despite my prominent warnings understood and felt silly they had missed them. Some were a little nasty but those were bullets dodged. 

I do have to gently wonder why you insist on kids in your listing. Certainly, it would be easier to host adults? Families come in all kinds of ages and sizes and it seems a little arbitrary to define them as having small children. If its a decor choice that drives this, perhaps think about making it more universal? In our experience families with small kids are our messiest and most damaging guests by far.  We certainly welcome them but would not think of saying "you need a small child plus the price of admission to stay here." 

[Emilia42]

@Laura2592 The real issue is that @David-and-Annie0 's house can only sleep 4 adults. Adults can not sleep on the bunk beds. But if she lists the place available to only 4 guests (adults) it will exclude her listing from families (with multiple children) using the search. This can not be done on Airbnb as children and adults are counted the same towards the overall guest count. 

@David-and-Annie0 as others have said I think you need to make it more apparent in your house rules that grown adults cannot sleep on the bunk beds and keep declining requests/inquiries with 4+ adults on the basis that there are not enough sleeping arrangements for more.

[David-and-Annie0]

@Laura2592 We happily accept teenagers and kids of all ages—not just small kids. But our place is best set-up for kids (bunk beds, toys, play kitchen, kitchen booth sitting area, etc.) and there are quirks about the place that in my opinion, just make it more suited to families. For example, the upstairs master shares a half-wall with the stairs and has no door to close. The living room is narrow so there’s only room for one couch and a big chair—not enough room for adults to spread out/lounge around together. Hence, I worry their experience wouldn’t be great. 
We’ve let 6 adults stay (after I vet them/feel comfortable and I explain the bunk beds), but 8 adults just seems like too much. I know kids can be messy, but that many adults taking showers, using the bathroom, etc....lots of wear and tear. But maybe I’m wrong; maybe kids are worse for wear and tear. 
But more than anything, with 8 adults, I worry it’ll turn into a party of some sort. The last time I did anything with that many adults, I was in my 20s, less respectful and aware of things, prone to use bad judgment, and inclined to drink too much and stay up all night. I realize not all young adults are like this, but the last 8 adult group we allowed spent much of their time drinking, smoking, and taking bong tokes on the deck (and prob in the house). The guests who came after them complained of smoke and we had to work double-time to communicate and placate them, ending up refunding them $175, and prayed they didn’t leave us a bad review (they left no review, thankfully!)

Anyway, I’m just trying to avoid problems like this/getting into these kinds of situations. 

[Laura2592]

@David-and-Annie0  I understand completely. Maybe just limit your guest counts altogether?  Our place could sleep 6, but we only want 4 at most for the reasons you describe. You could say that you accept above a certain number if those are under the age of 12. Maybe something like--

"We accept up to X adults.  Our max occupancy is X people, but as stated, we accept up to X adults. We happily welcome families. Please confirm before booking what your adult to child ratio is so that I can be sure there are enough beds to fit. 

At no time do we allow parties or events of any kind."

I wouldn't conflate it with the bunk beds. Adults will sleep in a bunk bed. I would simply state it as a max guest count and leave it at that.

We do this with pets. We have some guests who are two people wanting to bring 4 dogs. That is a lot of poo clean up.  So we state that the max number of pets is 2 and if there are four humans, we can only have one pet with the group. Four people in our space is plenty to clean up after on their own. 

[Laura2592]

@Emilia42 , got it. I might think about getting bunk beds adults could sleep in too, @David-and-Annie0 . We stayed in a place last year with some relatives where one of the room was bunk beds, but they were as sturdy as any other bed and twin size. No adult had any issues. Its never a bad idea to appeal to the largest audience who might book your space, unless there is a reason you truly prefer child guests. 

ETA-- Just looked at your listing- I had checked it out before in another thread and its lovely! Those bunk beds look very much like the ones we had adults sleeping in at an Airbnb last summer.  Some bunk beds are tiny but those seem to be regular old twin sized beds. Are you just getting adults complaining about having to sleep in them? Are you concerned about weight limits? I can understand why adults may be confused. 

[Colleen253]

@Laura2592   @David-and-Annie0  truly prefers kids and families because (among other reasons)....”PLUS, I really worry that all-adult groups can equal partying.“  

She has shared that she is trying to discourage all adult groups and cater instead to families for a few good reasons that are pertinent to her listing set up (and personal preference.) We all have unique circumstances and preferences in our listings. 

This is just a case of slight difficulty in striking the desired balance. Hopefully she can tweak her listing a bit and find that balance.

[Laura2592]

@Colleen253  Yes, there is certainly cause for that concern. That is why we limit our own guest counts so strictly.  There are many people who will host kids parties in spaces-- we get those requests too-- and don't think of it as a "party." So not sure that having kids only in your listing will help as much as limiting guest counts overall. 

I would just be very clear about what @David-and-Annie0 are trying to do and say something like "We prefer to welcome families with children as we are very serious in our no tolerance policy for parties or events. Our sleeping arrangements are suited for families with children."

[Linda108]

As others  have noted, your mountain home is quite nice for families.  You have been given great suggestions which you are open to which is a good way to best use this forum.  You are somewhat new to this business platform and perhaps even new to this business, so sometimes if you experience something unlike what you have had, it is difficult to have perspective.  

You have great pictures, but I suggest you rearrange the fifty pictures to depict how you want the potential guest to understand your orientation to families versus large-ish adult groups.  You have over 50 pictures, so move some of the pictures depicting the child -friendly areas closer to the beginning.  Most guests will not look at more than 10 - 15 pictures if they are just trying to find a good fit.  Your first 20 or so pictures show a very adult friendly space, including a hot tub.

You really need to use these recent experiences as a way to see the guest perspective, even if you feel While shouting is not a very adult way to handle the disappointment, perhaps your taking responsibility for ensuring you have done your part in communicating in your listing about your selection process will help with the guest search experience.

You concern about adult parites is well founded, but I wonder if you could have a co-host meet the guest party to orient the guest for you and be in the local area if you detect the guest is allowing additional adults to the space.  I know Big Bear City requires a local co-host but I don't know if Big Bear Lake does as well.  Might want to ensure you are in compliance since you are a remote host.  Just a thought.

Good luck with you continued success!

[Kelly149]

This is tricky, bc you just don't get useful hosting tools for separating ages of guests you want to host on ABB. (vrbo used to let you list a max adult, max child count, but even with that people still got confused)

-so you don't want to say 6 person max, bc then a family like mine with 5 kids wouldn't see you in search.

-but trust me when I say that searching for a place on ABB can be an exercise in frustration. and people don't read, and when they do half the time they'd fail a state elementary ed reading comprehension test, so don't necessarily take a freak out as somehow being your fault.

I think your best advice here is: firm up your listing text and photos, to set the scene for the group you're looking for. Our municipality disallows groups over 6 adults that aren't from the same household, so you're in good company to say what works and what doesn't based on that measure, just spell it out very clearly: in the listing text, in the house rules, in the 'things to note' section, in your initial communication, etc, etc. I wouldn't count on making it all the bunkbeds' fault either bc folks will invariably say: oh, we'll sleep on the floor or on the couches or whatever.

Good luck, @David-and-Annie0