Time flies so fast, and now October is here, with 2024 al...
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Time flies so fast, and now October is here, with 2024 already three-quarters gone. Looking back on September, I can hones...
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Hold on to your guests was another of my "just for fun" stories
2 years ago, in a black hole period of no bookings, I switched on instant booking. The first guest using it had one half line review that he was unforgettable, no text and the portrait looked disheveled and a bit scary. I wondered if the other host would keep fond memories or others. As an actor, he would only get the bad guy roles.
I got a very nice call the day before and agreed on luggage drop off in the morning - at 9 am, very early for a Saturday morning, but it would allow me more liberty for my own evening, if he already had the key.
Arrived a nice guy, five or ten years younger than me, who told me over coffee that he came for a training. He had come up from the South of France by night train, sleeping in the train. The train arrived in Paris early but he had slept very well and did not fully wake up at the station.
« They give you ear plugs, that works well and I only vaguely realized that someone checked, if everybody had left. They did not see me and I woke up at 8:30. Luckily the train was still in the station and I could leave. »
That was really lucky as on workdays, the trains go back half an hour later.
I offered him to wash up before his lessons, which he gladly accepted and I realized that I had forgotten some slips and socks I had decoratively arranged on the towel rail over the heating - I had not gotten out of bed on time either. He did not say a thing but used the other towel rail.
He put his bags up onto the loft and rummaged around, to find the toothbrush, I supposed. When I climbed up later to pass the vacuum cleaner I found he had arranged his pyjama equally decoratively on the folded chair leaning against the wall. The upper part over the back, the pants deeper, so that they seemed to stand on the carpet. When I passed the vacuum cleaner, I had to grin and folded the pant’s legs back 2 inches over the deepest bar to vacuum underneath.
So we were on equality, having seen each other’s not very erotic intimate garments.
In the evening, we spoke for a few minutes, I finished some work on the computer and wanted to prepare for my evening out, when I got a phone call. My guest was calling. That’s strange, I had heard him in the kitchen a minute ago, just behind a glass door, four steps away. Calling? I took the phone gingerly.
« Yes? »
« It’s Alain… »
« Yes, I saw that. »
« I’m sorry, I have a problem… »
« Yes?? »
« I’m in the bathroom… »
« ??? »
« Locked in »
« Ok, I come »
He kept talking over the phone but I approached the door, with a short delay to stuff an angry and curious parrot into his cage.
« I’m very sorry, the key broke »
I had to laugh whilst he excused himself and explained that the key broke, the door resists a bit, maybe.
« I’m sorry that that happened to you. The door did not lock for a while, due to humidity after many long showers. I got a dehumidifier only last week and it worked so well that the door shuts completely again. You are the first person to lock it in several months. »
He pushed the key under the door whilst I still giggled. The circle where you hold it had broken net. You could still use the key, but you did not get a hold to turn it. No other key in the house opened the door. I fetched a pair of pliers, one of those magical tools which fold into several tools like a swiss knife. No chance, I could not turn the key.
I passed him the key back, the pliers through a slot over the door and he tried whilst I pressed the door into the frame. No chance.
« I have better tools, takes a minute, I have to get them from under your bed. »
I took part of the facing off, got some boxes out and wriggled under his bed to get the tools from the farthest corner. We tried with two other pliers, no chance.
« Lucky me, that that happened now, whilst you are still here. »
« Don’t say that yet, you are not out yet! »
« I already checked, but the bathtub is a bit short for a bed. »
« Ah, with all the towels, you’ll be comfortable enough. I’ll pass you some food through the slot before I leave. »
« No chance with the pliers, I’ll unscrew the handles, maybe with a bit more hold on the key, we can turn it. «
I fetched an electric screw driver, he found a screwdriver on the magic tool, held the inner screws back whilst I screwed the outer screws off, working together like an experienced team. That gave us more access, we could see the problem and hold the key better, but then the key broke again. The toothed part broke from the stemm.
« That’s it, no chance, I can’t even lift the door at the hinges, the frame would block it. We have to break it open. If you push with your hip, you should be able to break out. »
Incredulous: « You want me to break the door open? It will do damage. »
« Yes, but if we put the grip back in and hold the grip down so that the door is blocked at one point only, that should limit the damage. »
« Good idea! » He put the grip back in, pressed it down and the door just opened. The last breaking of the key must have broken something inside the lock too. We laughed and fixed I the grips provisionally, to allow him to close the door if he really needed to do that alone in the apartment .
He got out and got another spectacle: me wriggling on my stomach under his bed, head and shoulders hidden, backside in the air to put the tools and boxes back and screw the facing back on. He did not comment on that, a real gentleman, only said:
« At least I know where the tools are, if I wake up with the urgent need to work around a bit."
I had grabbed some jewelry whilst hunting for all the spare keys, no chance for further preparations, I had to run.
What does a Parisian airbnb host do in the hours before a dinner in a great restaurant? Hairdresser? Beauty salon? - No, breaking down bathroom doors. 😉
He promised me not to mention the adventure in the review, only my great sense of humor ... I refrained from calling him a memorably guest.
The pictures show the door from the kitchen side, where you may imagine how small the space is, and from the bathroom side. Auguste, the parrot discovered the gap as well and uses it as secret door to enter the bathroom. After that experience, I did not buy a new lock for the door, but a simple hook and ring fastening. I put it so high, to be able to get it open from the outside, by fishing for it through the gap with a clothes hanger. You never know, what may happen: if a guest breaks his leg in the bathtub, I want to be able to get the door open without tools. - For good mesure I added a few handholds and a mat in the bath tub. 😉
@Helga0 You an I would have got on like a house on fire! I have gone from one absurd event to the next right through my life.
But seeing as you have taken an attachment to my possum stories, here is another one!
The problem with ‘wildlife’ is that a lot of it doesn’t want to stay wild…it wants to live in our world with us.
I was born into a farming family and I grew up on a 2,000 acres property just outside a town called Kapunda, about 80 Kms north of Adelaide. On our property we had a relatively substantial house (even had a ballroom in it) which had been constructed in the 1850s. Recently we went passed it and this is how it looks now.....
During my younger years in the 50s and 60s we had what could only be described as a serious ‘possum’ problem.
Now to the average city dweller possums are cute little furry things about the size of a small cat, which are so timid that the only time you would ever have a chance to see them would be at night, they are nocturnal…..so timid they are afraid of daylight. They make very little noise, they are vegetarian…so are great ecological ambassadors, and they are not confrontational….they seem to keep to themselves.
How could something this cute be a problem?
Well, in good times, they can breed in vast numbers and like us, are opportunists…they like the security of a roof over their heads….and they stink. If they would just stay out living in ‘knot holes’ in trees…the way nature intended......all would be fine....but they don't!
Our homestead was literally taken over by possums.
Throughout the house we had 16 foot (5 metre) ceilings….including the toilet …..yes, we had an inside toilet. For some obscure reason the toilet cistern was placed above the ceiling line with a flush chain that protruded through a hole in the ceiling all the way down to a reachable height.
When using, you needed to make sure you grabbed the handle properly first time. Because of the length of this chain if you merely brushed it, it would swing in such a large arch it would in all probability be a couple of minutes before you lay a hand on it again.
By today’s standards the pressure of water hitting the pan from that height was awesome….didn’t need a toilet brush…not a trace of anything was ever left behind.
Anyway, the possums totally ruled the roof space and felt comfortable with all things in that space. All night long the toilet would flush every time a possum would use that portion of the flush chain that was in the roofspace to climb somewhere or other.
Like I said Helga, possums and I go back a long way!
Cheers....Rob
