How one guest destroyed five years of Superhost status

[Huma0]

Hello everyone. Firstly, sorry for being away from the community for so long (due to a number of reasons). I wanted to share my recent experience and ask for your opinions. Apologies if it's a bit long...

I have been a Superhost for the majority of the time I have hosted in my current home. I have three guest rooms which were pretty much fully booked pre-pandemic and, since then, I've managed to keep things going with bookings on and off. Things were finally starting to pick up again in the latter months of this year. I've maintained my Superhost status every quarter for the past five years and have been at a 5.0 rating for about two (prior to that, mostly fluctuating between 4.9 and 5.0 as you know how long it can take to recover from the occasional 4 stars).

My dilemma is this. I recently had a guest who unexpectedly left me a 3 star overall rating (and 3 or 4 stars in every category bar location). She never complained while she was here and seemed to enjoy her stay. Although her English was limited so something may have been lost in translation, she left me a positive review and a nice private note and there is absolutely no negative feedback explaining the low ratings. I also feel that I went above and beyond for this guest in many ways, so it's pretty confusing.

Anyway, as a result of this, my rating has gone from 5.0 to 4.3 and I will definitely lose my Superhost status at the next assessment. Even if all remaining guests leave 5 stars, that only brings me up to 4.66, not the 4.8 required. I have even already received a warning email from Airbnb that my listing may be suspended. It will be a long time before I can significantly bring it back up.

I already called Airbnb about this but, as expected, the CS rep said there was nothing he could do about it, especially as the guest had not mentioned anything negative in the review that I could contest. His only advice was to keep up the good work.

I know that a lot of hosts feels that being a Superhost makes no difference. However, I would say in my experience that it does. When I first started hosting, most of my guests had no idea what a Superhost even was. In recent years (since Airbnb started promoting the scheme a bit more), I have found that many guests mention they booked with me because of it. Once guests are aware of it, they often specifically search for Superhosts. Even if you forget about that, my rating for that listing has dropped to 4.0. and I know I wouldn't book an Airbnb with that rating!

My questions are these:

1. I would like to message the guest asking for feedback. Perhaps she did not understand that her ratings were actually very low, rather than 'good' or 'very good'/'as expected' or 'better than expected' as it is sometimes represented by Airbnb. Or, perhaps she was too shy to tell me that there was a problem and it would be helpful to know what that was, regardless of whether Superhost status matters or not. How best to phrase this message without seeming like I am harassing her?

2. This guest instant booked. I only turned on IB because I felt I must (once Airbnb really started to push it, my fully booked listings dropped to the bottom of the search results, which is disastrous in London where there are so many Airbnbs, and only recovered when I turned it on). If this had been a booking request, I would not have accepted it without the guest answering all of the pre-booking questions, which she hadn't. So, should I turn it off and risk my listings disappearing again? I'm tempted, but not sure that's the best idea given that her rating may already have an impact on bookings? A very low percentage of long-term guests IB, but the rest might not even see my listing if I turn it off, so I am not sure that would be to my advantage.

[Robin925]

@Huma0 I agree it is so difficult to host long term guests and keep the ratings up. Many reviews usually leads to better ratings. 

I have however recently been able to have a guest remove their review and rating. What I did was:

1. Reach out in IM and say "I noticed you left a 4 star review" "Superhosts rely on our 5 star reviews in order to keep our Superhost status" "Was there anything about the listing or the stay that you felt could have been better that would have made your stay perfect?"

2. If they reply ( and sometimes they don't), really listen and ask questions. Validate what they said. In my recent situation the bed was too firm, and I agreed, so I said it was on my list to get memory foam pillow toppers for this listing and mentioned other things that I felt would make my listing perfect. 

3. I thanked the guest for his honest feedback in IM and gently suggested that if he felt differently about his stay at any time he could reach out to Airbnb CS and ask them to remove the review. This particular guest first wrote me and asked how he could have the star rating "changed to a 5". I wrote back and told him that was not possible Airbnb did not allow guests to change the rating, only to have the entire review deleted. 

4. I waited a day and then told him that "I appreciated some of the nice things he said about the listing in the review, but if he did want to reach out to Airbnb CS and have the review taken down it would help me".

5. He did it! Really awesome, that he was willing.

Sometimes just the communication about what would make their stay better is enough and they don't realize how serious a less than perfect review could be for the host. I've tried this twice, and so far a 50% success rate...

[Huma0]

@Robin925 

Yes, I take the same approach. There's no point sending the guest an angry message and I don't think we should directly ask them to have their review removed, but rather ask for feedback with the explanation that 3 or 4* is low. Of course, some guests give feedback in their public review/private note, in which case there's not much point.

I did once contact a guest who had left me 4* because she said she wasn't told about something, but actually it was not only written twice in my listing, but she was reminded three times via message about it before she booked! The guest admitted her mistake and said she would change the review. However, when I explained that she couldn't change it, only ask for it to be removed, she got really angry. She was annoyed that I was interrupting her holiday with something so trivial. Many guests do not appreciate why their rating matters to us.

[Robin925]

@Huma0 

 I don't really know what I would do if a guest got upset with me. I could see myself breaking down. I try to remind happy guests to write an awesome review, at the time when they say somethings positive about their stay or the space. If Im not sure if they like the space I don't say anything about reviews.

    I try to keep all IM messaging positive upbeat and filled with "sound bites" of the great things Im hoping they will remember to replicate in a fabulous review... I find if I restate the positive, the reviews are better. 

   I'm not an expert at the personal interaction part of this, so if I didn't cry if a guest got mad at me for requesting to delete a review, I might think strategy to remind them of all the good things they said, or just keep asking "did you like...this or that, and how could I make it better". If they were pissed, I'd probably just wish them well and tell them to enjoy the vacation. I do think it's right to let them know "if at any time" they change their mind... this validates their original opinion was correct for their experience at that time, but gives an opportunity; knowing later they might see things differently. 

Have you ever read the book "Non-Violent Communication" by Marshal Rosenberg? I don't think I could find a better book on conflict resolution. Since I have Aspergers I tend to need to rationalize every interpersonal interaction..when I remember to follow their strategy I do pretty well.

[Huma0]

@Robin925 

No, I haven't read that book, but it sounds interesting. If anything, in the past I had the opposite problem, i.e. I was too passive and really hated confrontation. My friends used to call me 'Miss Switzerland' for always sitting on the fence.

If I wasn't diplomatic enough, eight years working in public relations and ten years interviewing celebrities as a journalist taught me to be so in a professional capacity, but also how to be diplomatic in an effective capacity and not allow people to walk all over me. There is still work to do. I still avoid confrontation if I can.

I am very polite and calm when dealing with problematic guests, but sometimes you do need to stand your ground. In the example I gave, the guest claimed something in the review and marked me down for it when it was simply untrue. That is what I had issue with. She seemed happy about every other aspect of her stay. I politely pointed out that she had been informed of that particular rule numerous times. She knew I was right, as she only had to check the listing/correspondence again to see this, and she admitted her mistake and was even willing to 'change' the review.

For some reason, when I (again politely) explained it was not possible to change it, but she could ask Airbnb to remove it, she suddenly became very angry, which was a surprise. She then said, "Who are you to question the accuracy of my review? It is MY review and I can write whatever I want. I don't have time for this. You are ruining my holiday."

At this point, there is really nothing you can do. Perhaps I touched on some kind of raw nerve. I ask all guests to confirm they have read, understood and agree to the listing/house rules. By not doing so, she had basically lied. Of course, I never accused her of such, but she probably felt like she had been 'caught out' and resented that. Perhaps she had a history of not quite telling the truth, who knows? I'm not a psychologist, so there's not much point speculating.

You are right to keep things upbeat and highlight the positives. I agree that I also would not mention reviews if I feared the guest was not 100% happy. However, there are times when some confrontation is inevitable if you want to keep control over your space. Reviews are probably not the place for it, but certainly, sometimes you have to confront a guest who is breaking your house rules and not be intimidated by the likelihood of a bad review.

[Helen744]

Helen@744, do you ever think that if we did not have to get those stupid stars that we could have a lot more time to make something a little better for the guest. I refuse to even mention the review to the guests but increasingly I can tell that although they are bending the rules even on arrival they start questioning about things relating to the star system before looking at anything , as if to attempt blackmail It gets in the way of showing the things that it might be useful to know about the house or the area.It is stupid set up by Airbnb and pointless. black mail and free accomodation is the name of the game . every thing is so expensive at the moment and the constant inducement to give guests more and more to keep them happy means that there is a point of no return for many owners. Free labour is one thing but paying guests to stay is madness

[Huma0]

@Helen744 

Actually, no, I don't think I have ever experienced this (if I understand you correctly) because guests seem totally unaware that we can leave them star ratings. They do not see the ratings. When I have mentioned to guests that hosts also leave them star ratings, they seem astonished. I have never had a guest say, "Yes, I knew that."

Holding hosts to hostage over a bad review is another matter. I believe that happens more frequently...

[Robin925]

@Huma0 

Two things come to mind when reading your recounting of that conversation. In Marshal Rosenberg's book there was a rhyme or phrase that goes "How do you do a don't, all I know is I won't..." He claims that psychologically the primitive part of a human brain does not recognize the difference between a statement made in the positive or the negative and so people can become frustrated with negative feedback or requests for negative actions (to negate and action). The Airbnb policy is in some way made in a "negative". The review (no matter if it was in any way accurate) needs to be removed to accomplish the Superehosts goal of keeping rating up...so there it is a tough policy to navigate when broaching the subject with a guest. Guests may feel already backed into a corner by the way the policy is designed. 

   I also reached a point with the guest, whom I wrote of, who did remove his review. At one point in the dialog, I simply could not figure out what to say that would be respectful enough and since I have trouble coming up with right words sometimes, I actually dropped the dialog for a couple of days. I almost gave up after stating that the review could only be removed... I was not willing to ask.

   Then however, I remembered another section from Marshal Rosenberg's book which is to "Ask for That Which Would Enrich Our Lives". I'm not good at asking for things, and felt in this case it would be rude to ask, but I realized the guest really wanted to help me and so I found a way to phrase it so it would seem as if perhaps it was like his own project. 

The dialog went like this:

Guest: How can I resubmitt..... To upgrade my rating to 5 star?

Host: Thank you for your wish to do this. Airbnb does not let guest upgrade the reviews only to remove them.

-Here I ended up waiting two days without a response from the guest-

Then, I, the host, ended up  writing back:

Host: It is up to you. I respect your words in the review, and appreciate the kind words. However, and if you wanted to call Airbnb or send them a message, the removal of a 4 star rating can help to keep a host with super host. The requirements are quite high for that. It truly was such a pleasure to host you and I would not want to ask you to go to any trouble, but it would be of your own will. I do not request anything. I do hope your holidays are well spent with blessings in the new year.

Guest: I have reached out to Airbnb..... They are in the process of removing the rating.

In the end the Guest did:

Not a "negative" that was asked for, (because I did not ask for him to do anything, and the company policy is written as a negative action), but he did something positive, that would enrich my  life, which was to help me to keep Superhost status and that was what made the whole experience seem really authentic, natural, and a helpful experience (I believe for both the guest and the host). 

[Huma0]

@Robin925 

I totally appreciate what you are saying. You have to word things carefully, not in an accusatory tone.

I think the mistake in the example I gave above was to stress to the guest that her review/ratings were inaccurate, i.e. she accused me of not telling her something that she was actually told five times. Even though I was so, so polite about it, at the end of the day, I was calling her out for doing something wrong, for making a mistake (and a stupid one - even though of course I never phrased it that way) and essentially lying by having told me she read the listing/house rules when she hadn't (again, never specifically said this). It's putting the guest on the spot, no matter how politely and diplomatically you phrase it.

I think you handled the situation very well, but I do still think it is slightly ridiculous that hosts have to resort to this when we are simply asking guests to read the listing before booking...

[Helen744]

Helen@744 I personally never have an issue with four stars . happy to roll with the punches but seriously I do not have the time ever to ask a guest anything about their four star reviews but threes and lower for no reason I take objection to especially when accompanied with snide remarks . we have a local health inspector for our town we do not need Airbnb to provide every guest with the right to examine skirting boards. Health inspectors , real ones ,look for insects rats non working toilets grease under the stove rotten floorboards etcetera. The trivia encouraged to damage hosts standings is absolutely maddening health inspectors would be better employed on some guests because this is my home. I naturally have an interest in caring for it 

[Huma0]

@Helen744 

Yes, I agree. I would not normally bother stressing about a four star review. The review that started this whole thread was 3 stars and the most annoying thing about it was there was no feedback as to why. The other one I mentioned was 4 stars, but that annoyed me because the guest specifically knocked off a star for not being informed of something she was informed of at least five times!

On the other hand, there are some people who are not ever going to leave 5 stars and that's fine. Airbnb doesn't help by telling guests that 4* = very good and better than expected (or at least that's how they used to phrase it) while sending warnings of being delisted to hosts when they get less than 5*.