Is my host being unreasonable?

[Julie4361]

So I'm far from a newby airbnb guest, and this time I chose a place well in advance in a nice location. I'd seriously considered a great hotel down the road, but ultimately we decided we wanted the convenience of being able to cook most breakfasts and lunches ourselves and just go out to dinner a couple of times to keep the costs down. 

Less than a week before we go (we go next week) we get a list of House Rules, and oh, by the way, the griller is broken and we can't get hold of any tradies. Now for health reasons, we use a griller every day as a means of cooking and had every intention of doing so on this trip. Could we get around it? Possibly, but we chose and paid for a house that claimed to have full cooking facilities. I pointed this out, and that I wasn't comfortable with it, and lo, just as we anticipated, suddenly her husband had arranged for someone to turn up the morning of our arrival. Now as we all know, sometimes tradies turn up, sometimes they do turn up but need a long time to fix something and sometimes the thing is just not fixable. So I still have no guarantee, and yes, to us it is important. 

In addition, we've been hit with a list of what I think are unreasonable House Rules by my host. Apparently she has had issues with not being able to get linen clean after some people have stayed, so we have now been told to check our skin and hair products, even our toothpaste, for ingredients in case they contain something bleachy. We're actually not allowed to use teeth whitening toothpaste. There are other rules, like no hot food on the table, no glasses or cups on the arm of the couch, in other words it's like going to visit grandma when you have to do this or that, and not do this or that, and can't wait to leave.

Now I get that a host wants to take care of her property. But I'm never going to be able to relax now, in fear of doing something that may or may not live up to her standards, and cop an extra charge for doing so. I'd cancel, only there is a no refund policy. I can see why! Am I being unreasonable in my expectations? I've just never encountered anything like this before.

[Sarah977]

@Julie4361  So none of these things were mentioned in the listing itself under the House Rules section? It is definitely not okay to spring a long list of house rules on guests if they weren't mentioned in the listing. 

As you say, this sounds like a fusspot host who wants to micromanage every aspect of a guest's stay and is nervous about people damaging things. She probably isn't really cut out for hosting. Or maybe she has had bad experiences with disrespectful guests in the past. Some hosts think they have to make a new rule everytime a guest does something they don't approve of, even though no guest had ever done that before and may never do it again. 

If I were you, I would tell the host that you understand she may have had bad guests in the past, but you are clean, respectful people who don't damage things, as she can see from your past reviews, and that her long list of rules is making you feel like you won't be able to relax there at all, that you'll be nervous to touch anything. And that house rules need to be mentioned in the listing itself, not sprung on guests after they have booked. See what she says to that.

Depending on her answer, you may be able to cancel this booking for a refund by calling Airbnb and explaining that the host has now sent you a long list of house rules that were not mentioned in the listing at all, as well as that you specifically booked for the grill amenity, which the host now tells you isn't operational. 

A missing amenity is something a host should offer a discount for, but money doesn't solve not being able to cook for yourselves. If she can't get the grill fixed, she should buy a new one.

If you decide to stay,  just mention whatever you feel is worth mentioning when you go to write the review. You may find that she's quite sweet and trying to be a good host, but is just a nervous nellie.

[Lorna170]

@Julie4361   While I often agree with @Sarah977 this time I can only go halfway.   This host may be a new host, or as Sarah suggested, she may have had bad guests in the past.  As a whole property host, I can tell you that I have been astounded by the actions of some of my guests and can't imagine what tips their homes must look like.  I no longer provide colored towels due to the bleaching properties of sunscreen and acne products.  I have also had guests put hot casserole dishes down on my dining room table and leave glass rings on the living room side tables.   

The latest issue has been with spray disinfectants.  The product used by our last guest left blue streaks everywhere in the bathroom.  It took me several hours of scrubbing to remove whatever that product was.  

So, to finish off, think about this house not as grandmas, but as your own.  Do you let your husband spill his coffee all over your armchair?  Do you have a dining room table that can withstand a burning casserole dish?  Or do you put down a nice large trivet?  Do you let your teenager use your good towels when dying their hair bright green? Enjoy the house but think of it more as your own home for the time you are renting it and keep it as nice as you can -- it is a home, not a hotel.  

[Sarah977]

@Lorna170  I certainly don't see anything wrong with a host requesting that guests use coasters under drinks, trivets under hot pots, take their street shoes off at the door, etc.

It's the way it's presented that make  the difference between a guest finding it reasonable or not. A long list of "don't do this and don't do that " house rules can come across as overbearing and fussy. That's the vision I got of this host's after-the-fact house rules list, judging by this guest's reaction (who has several glowing reviews saying how clean she was and what a pleasure to host) . 

Those things seem more like instructions in how to be respectful of the place than "house rules". So it could be presented in the house manual, as a separate "Please observe the following in caring for this home" message, and/or a nicely framed note in a prominent place in the house.

"Please use trivets under hot pots and pans so as not to damage the counters or table. 

Please use the coasters provided under your drinks" comes across much differently than a list of "house rules" minutia.