What do you do when you should write a negative review of a guest, but the guest was really really nice?!

[Dara11]

Today a young couple with a sweet baby, checked out of my place, which is only a few months old (as in just built - brand new!). They had been here for 2 weeks. I had several chats with them while they were here. Very sweet and respectful people. I liked them very much. BUT...

When we went to clean the space today - it took two of us THREE-and-a-HALF HOURS! That was just inside! Outside where they had parked their car there were dozens of cigarette butts all over the grass so I had to go out and clean that up, too.

I just...could not believe how filthy it was. There was sticky stuff everywhere. We had to wipe down the walls in places, like it looked like soda had been spit on it. And the wife had dyed her hair...blue...while staying here so there were spots of blue in the shower I could not get clean, as well as blue on the bathroom door which I will have to paint over.

A washcloth with something unidentifiable stained all over it was in the trash. Another towel that looked similar was in the dirty laundry. There were two big blood stains on the mattress cover (that a Clorox pen got completely clean!). And there was a big stain on the brand new sofa.

It's clear on my listing - no smoking - and it was a topic we had even discussed and yet there was actual ash on the floor next to the bed and a blunt, or small self-rolled cigarette.

Like every nook and cranny in the place was filthy. Three and a half hours! Two of us! I'm still not even fully confident it's really clean 😛

And...I keep a container in the bathroom of...I forget the word...but things for "just in case you forgot" like toothbrushes, toothpaste, razors, shaving cream. Travel size stuff. And all of it was just gone.

So...what do I do?

They were really nice. I do not want her to read what I feel I would have to write!

But...the rest of you guys out there deserve to know before you accept a stay request from them.

What would you do??

[Sarah977]

@Dara11  I know it's tough, but you need to leave an honest review of these guests- try not to think of reviews as negative or positive, but honest. Keep in mind that you aren't reviewing them as people, but as to their suitablity as guests. That's the whole purpose of reviews- so hosts can make informed decisions as to whether to accept a guest and guests can make informed decisions as to what places to book. Yes, they will read it, as they should- they need to know that the state in which they left the place is unacceptable. And other hosts need to be warned, as I'm sure you would have wanted to be warned, or you wouldn't have accepted their booking. We do no one any favors by shying away from speaking the truth.

IMO "nice" is a highly overrated virtue. You say they were respectful, but leaving such a pigsty, ignoring your no-smoking rule and making off with all the extra toothbrushes and such is totally disrespectful behavior. Being nice and friendly in conversation is easy, but isn't at all valuable to you if you have to spend 7 man-hours cleaning up after them.

As a fellow host, I don't need to know all the gritty details, but in general terms, I want to know if the guest left a disaster area behind them, ignored house rules, etc.

Most guests have some redeeming features, and you can use these to create what some refer to as a review "sandwich". Mention something positive to start, move on to the negative stuff, end on a decent note. For these guests, something like "XX and her husband were very nice and friendly on a personal level, and their baby was adorable. We had several lovely chats over the 2 weeks they stayed, which we enjoyed. Therefore we were shocked to discover the state of the place when they checked out. Every nook and cranny was unbelievably filthy, with several items damaged beyond salvaging. Our no-smoking rule was ignored, entailing picking up dozens of cigarette butts strewn around in the grass and found evidence of smoking inside, as well. Cleaning time required was 3 times what is normal after our other guests have checked out. Although we were extremely disappointed to find our place so disrespected, I feel that XX and her family could be good guests in the future if they attended to cleaning up after themselves, taking good care of the host's linens and other amenities, and followed the house rules, as they seemed to be nice people."

Of course, you will write the review in your own words, but that gives you an idea. You can post a draft review here on the forum if you want feedback from other hosts before you submit it. If you post a draft review, or anything else on the "Host Circle" section of this forum, only hosts can access that section, so there's no chance that your guests can see it there. The "Hosting" and "Help" sections here are open to anyone.

I wouldn't mention making off with the toothbrushes and such- it's not uncommon for guests to assume that whatever they find in terms of amenities are theirs to take. It's a learning experience for you- only leave enough in the unit for what you think is necessary for the number of guests and length of stay. Let guests know to ask if they run out of anything. Some hosts have had guests make off with entire boxes of snack bars, entire flats of drinking water, etc. 

[Dara11]

Thanks for your "sample" review. That gives me a lot to go on.

[Inna22]

@Sarah977 your review is so good, I almost wish I had these guests just so I can use it. On a second thought, @Dara11 can keep them

[Jessica-and-Henry0]

@Dara11 

For difficult reviews...... I try to focus on FACTS vs. house rules/common sense/really basic manners. 

Like @Sarah977 suggests, you could start with good things. And if you stick to facts.....  you won't be writing anything the guest doesn't already know so it won't matter if they read it or not :-)) If it were me.....I'd write something along the lines of " Good communication, friendly, cute baby. After check out, we went to clean and found cigarette butts all over the grass and driveway, a lot of sticky residue on multiple walls & surfaces, blue dye stains in bathroom, ash and a cigarette next to the bed, big stains on sofa and other linens. Based on our hosting experience, we would not recommend for longer stays." 

I honestly would not mention the stuff they took because (although stealing is BAD) I think that if you don't want people making off with your extra supplies then it's your responsibility to keep it safe and locked up. 

Hope this helps~ 

[Dara11]

I want to just copy/paste your "sample" review. 😛 haha

[Suzanne302]

@Dara11 Just here to add that I agree with @Jessica-and-Henry0  and @Sarah977 . And Sarah is right, these people may have been "nice" but they were most certainly not respectful.

I've struggled with a review like this and you just have to remove the emotions and focus on facts, as Jessica pointed out.  ie, Don't say, "I couldn't believe how filthy it was," just list the extra things you had to clean as a result of their stay. And of course mention that they broke your no smoking rule. (sounds like they didn't just break it, they stomped all over it, ugh!)

You would never want to host these people again so I wouldn't worry what she will think of the review. They chose to disrespect your rental so they must accept the consequences of your review.

[Linda-And-Allan0]

You have to be honest for the sake of other guests. Also photograph the damage or damaged items and bill them.

We have all been there. I hate leaving bad reviews but they have abused you, your home and your hospitality.

[Helen350]

@Dara11 I agree with the advice of the others , to tell the truth, accurately & politely, but not emotionally.

Just a thought, Does your listing/house rules/house manual make it clear that Airbnbs  are not serviced hotels, and that expectations re cleaning up after yourselves are different from those in hotels?

- I wonder if some newbie guests genuinely don't understand what is expected of them, & so it's best for both sides if we make it very clear?

- Wishing you better in future!

[Robin4]

@Dara11 

Dara, nice people are respectful people.....they don't just think of themselves, they think of others as well.

From what you are saying this couple gave little or no consideration to you!

I have had them as well, seem to be really nice guys but have broken stuff and made no mention of it....left the place a pig sty!

Like you, I would sit down and say to myself....."Oh it wasn't that bad and they were nice, I really don't want to cane them"

But I have come to realise that, nice people want to come back again, so they leave a good impression, the others don't give a **bleep**.

Don't feel too bad about telling them in the review. Don't be bitchy about it, there are ways to get your point across without being vindictive......"We try to provide a nice environment for our guests and we hope they will enjoy and respect that. As nice as these  guys were they left us a mountain of effort to put our home back together again. A bit more thought would have been appreciated and I reluctantly have to say, I would decline the opportunity to host them again"!  .....and give them a 2 star for cleanliness!

Now something like that will stick! You haven't stated anything specific which they can dispute and have your review removed. You have warned others in the hosting community that these guests are to be avoided and...... by being pleasant about it you have embarrassed them!

Mission accomplished!

Cheers......Rob

[Suy62]

Deleted due to error.

[Fred13]

Uncomfortable situation, you personally liked them, BUT the facts are they were slobs in their personal manner. So yes easy to separate the two - they were nice, but left the place a royal mess type of review. I am not into getting into too much detail, maybe one or two general examples will suffice that will surely prove informative to other hosts. Again, a no-fun review.

[Dara11]

Thanks, everyone, for your input! 

[Melodie-And-John0]

Good topic @Dara11 !   Im an old softy when it comes to nice people and would do anything for most nice or less than friendly even but it serves us all best to be honest and consistent when we are reviewing guests and hosts.   After hundreds of bookings, its sad to say I do remember what the 5% marginal to bad did that sucked than what the 95% good to great did that was good to awesome.  I am challenging myself to try to recognize them more in my feedback to them, the community and when we chat here.  

The only one I can actually police is me so I treat it the same way I know is how my ratings are looked at by the mothership, If you get a 4 from me, that a red flag not a yellow and a 3 is a rare double red, I think Ive only given a couple 2s, you dont wanna know the vision a 2 conjures in my head but its all red.  I know that's not necessarily the way it was envisioned as an analog measurement tool but that's the reality of Superhost vs not, you is or you isn't, its very very digital.   

The numbers tell a narrow tale,  I take time to point out the unacceptable in the community view-able feedback and look for it on my guests whenever its available, I put things that are  marginal in the private feedback just in case they made a mistake or didnt realize and then cast my final vote "would I have them back?" as the final arbitrator, Guilty or Not Guilty!  Most I honestly would like to see return, some I would host again but would be fine if I didnt see them again, very few get the Never again button, those I remember well...  Stay well, JR