BAD REVIEW, Oh No!

[Farah1]

There are guests who try to push you to your limit, make you feel/think that you should help them by breaking your rules, or making you feel guilty for sticking to your rules. I used to easily feel annoyed/hurt/frustrated by this. I always do my best for my guests and I always provide what I say I would on the listing. Then what makes me deserve this?! Oh no! ha ha... then I realized that there are bad people/bad guests that share a different value/standard than me, who cannot appreciate my professional hosting/rules and help, who want to do whatever they want and not being honest, etc. It would be really stressful if I keep feeling "stress" about it, so I start to learn to be stronger. Sometimes, bad review is actually doing me a favor from having a similar type of guest in the future because those people will see that I will not entertain their behavior. I completely understand that it is not a comfortable feeling to receive a bad review, but I need to do myself a favor not to stress about it and just take it as a learning process and leave a professional review response. Bad guests are people who make me appreciate my good guests even more. So, for other hosts who have experienced this, you are not alone! 🙂

[Huma0]

Also, @Farah1 I do let my guests use the oven and other kitchen facilities (except the washer/dryer unless they are long term). However, I totally understand why you wouldn't let them as they can so often leave it on and we really don't need that, especially if they do it when we are not home.

Funnily enough, another considerate guest who I have staying at the moment asked me this evening if I noticed that he had used the oven. I said no. He said 'Good. If you didn't notice I used it, that means I left it clean enough.' I guess that he had picked up that after he and his girlfriend used it the other night, I cleaned it thoroughly. That was not because they left a mess. It was simply time to clean the oven. Interesting though that he thought about this. Most guests don't think twice about making a mess of something they have just seen you clean. These guests are fantastic though. They are my first Canadians and if they are typical of their nation, I will be jumping at bookings from Canadians in future!

[Huma0]

Quote from guest who is trying to recover from bad review re cleanliness when I told her not to bother cleaning up the bedroom:

"And are you sure? I'd like to help clean up as much as I can before leaving - please just let me know, I don't mind."

Some guest do care about their reviews, so maybe we should be more honest in future...

[Farah1]

@Huma0 I think honest professional and somewhat candid is the best practice for me. I don't look like a ranting godzilla, but still honest at the same time. 

For the oven guest, I was not home at that time, so I did not feel comfortable waving the house rules for that. If I were home, probably I would be flexible and let him use the oven.

These guests of yours sound great and considerate! It is nice when guests also think about our comfort and their behavior.

[Farah1]

@Huma0 I can understand the dilemma. I don't feel that comfortable either leaving a negative review because I believe that talking and resolving it in person is better. However, sometimes there are situation where leaving a negative review is needed. I had this complicated guest that so demanding, asked for a fan one day claiming it was hot, then the next day left the fan running when she was out of the house and then said that it was cold and she needed sweater that day. Who's the *crazy* one here?! It was definitely not a pleasant experience to host her and everyday I was "ready" for her to request other things (not that I always entertain her request), but that was just her. I think I am responsible to write an honest professional (somewhat candid) review about her. I wish that her previous hosts did, then I would not need to approve her request. I think that waving guest's bad behavior, breaking rules, etc, do not really do any good to anybody other than the guest... it does not really do any good to the guest either though because they will not learn that what they have done was inappropriate. I see in the forum there are hosts who are hosting a bad guest with positive review history, how did this happen? A coincidence? Or the previous hosts were "being nice" and left them a good review despite them being bad guests? Who knows...

Also, it seems like many hosts are being too nice by leaving a good review to good guests while on the other hand, most guests leave a very thorough review if they have a bad experience/did not like the host or the place. So, I don't see any point why hosts not leave an honest review. Honest does not need to be too emotional... it is still can be professional and candid. The last negative review I left, I did not get into details on what the guest did, but I am sure future hosts will understand what type of guest this person is.

A couple years ago, I left a negative review to one of my guests and he sent me a message afterward saying that it impacted his profile because no hosts willing to accept his reservation after my review... well, sorry not sorry, maybe he needs to think about his actions and behavior more during his stay and not break house rules then. Guests who leave bad review did not care/spend the time to think about how much that will impact the host's business as well. So... yea, I dont' see the point on waving the negative experience for a good review.

[Huma0]

@Farah1 by the way, no need to strip off and don a wok as those guests never ended up leaving a review at all...

[Huma0]

@Farah1 Maybe I'm just tired or have too much on my plate, but I am starting to get a bit fed up with guests breaking rules and therefore a bit sterner with them when they do.

This week I had another set of guests who were being tricky with the check in time. They asked to check in at 10 am and I said that wasn't possible as I had other guests directly before and that I couldn't do earlier than 3pm, sent them left luggage info etc. They said fine, they'll come at 3. Then they changed their minds and said between 7 and 9 pm. I asked them if they could be more specific (it was Saturday night and I needed to know if I could accept a dinner inviation). They replied that the time they arrived would depend on how they were feeling on that evening. So, I had to cancel my plans. Fine, but then they sent a text at 6 pm saying they were coming now. There seemed to be no regard that, by repeatedly changing their check in time, they were messing up my whole schedule. I simply told them not to come before 7pm as agreed as I had planned my whole day around that time.

The thing that annoyed me more was that twice already this week I have had guests break my house rule re not giving out my address for mail. One asked me if it was okay, but only after she had already given it out to credit card companies - the worst mail spammers out there! The second one didn't even ask. Mail arrived for her and she hasn't even checked in. When I messaged her about it, she apologised but said she didn't give the address for postage, only for payment details! Am I overreacting here? I definitely do not think it is okay for a guest to be giving my home address as her billing address!!

I hate getting off to a bad start with guests, but I feel like I have to say something, otherwise they'll just break one rule after another.

Although I already ask them to confirm they agree to all the rules before I accept a booking, I'm going to message them again before arrival asking them to re-read the rules as they seem to forget half of them. Also, I'm definitely going to start including some points about this stuff in private feedback. Still in a dilemna about what to mention in the public reviews though as I don't want to seem harsh.

Does "appeared to have some issues with agreeing to a check in time" or "found it hard to stick to an agreed check in time" added to the end of an otherwise positive review sound reasonable?

[Farah1]

@Huma0 tell me about it. You are welcome to read this > https://community.withairbnb.com/t5/Hosting/Disappointed-in-Airbnb/m-p/472636#M107322 when you have the time.

Regarding the check-in review, yes it sounds reasonable. I would do that in the public one + definitely give a private review.

I think I am currently have a little too much on my plate too after what happened this past weekend as mentioned in the post (with the link) above. I just welcomed a new guest for the room that has the lower rating stars as we discussed in one of your threads. I really cannot comprehend why it feels like this room attracts less "attractive/good" guests. Yes, the price is slightly lower than the other room, but only by a couple/few bucks at most. It is crazy to see how much difference it makes. So, this room clearly do not have parking amenities + I mentioned in the listing that there is no on-site parking, but there are street parking around that are 30seconds walk... literally + I give information in the check-in instructions regarding parking. They showed up, blocking my husband's parking spot. I asked them who was driving because I wanted to give a direction regarding parking. I am ok if they block the parking spot only to take out luggage, but that was not the case. He asked me if he needed to move the car right away because they are going to go out anyway... at 4:40 (it was 3:25!). Are you really asking this? Your car is not supposed to be here at the first place anyway. I said that he needed to move it because it is blocking my husband's spot and he is usually home before 4:40. He looked mad and did not even bother to really listen to my instructions about where to park.

I gave them a house tour and they did not seem too friendly. I am trying to be positive that they might be tired after the travel or it is their habit/culture. They also did not really listening to the check-in tour (some people tend to do this) and I really do not like it because every information I give in the check-in tour is very important especially for them to ensure that they have a pleasant stay. It will not kill you to listen to me helping your stay to be better for 5 minutes.... *sigh

[Huma0]

@Farah1 I have had a super busy week and somehow missed your thread which I have now read from start to finish with great interest and now I am late for a work appointment! But, wow! I will certainly be joining in the dicussions as soon as I have time. Thank you for posting. I learnt a lot from that thread!

[Farah1]

@Huma0 haha, I already forgot about the naked running with wok! I think it is still better than if they leave a bad review, right? Sometimes, I feel that it is ridiculous to see what our options are.

[Huma0]

@Farah1 A lot of guests don't leave reviews maybe because they're busy, they forget, they just can't be bothered etc.

I wonder though if some don't leave a review because they are worried that you will leave a bad one for them and they get confused about how it works because they are new, i.e. they think if they don't leave one, you can't either.

Of my less than great guests experiences recently, most have not left reviews, whereas with the good guest experiences, most do leave reviews. Most of the bad experiences are with newbie guests.

[Sinead4]

I am still trying to work through my anger at how my last guest/reservation went down and am considering posting this as my review for a guest.  In addition to being so long as to make me look pathetic and obsessed (I am indeed both), it might not even be allowed??

I need to think about it more as the anger wears off and I become slightly more reasonable:

I have had such positive experiences with my Airbnb guests that my interactions generally boost m y mood and make me feel good about the world.  This one left me feeling let down and slightly sick to my stomach for longer than I would like to admit.

Airbnb agreed with “Marnie” and left me $1000 short so sadly, I am left with using my review as the only form of justice I will get.

There are two sides to every story.  “Marnie” claimed to be afraid of one of my dogs and I was ready to refund her because I am a pushover, but the more I thought about the timing of when she told me she was too scared to enter the condo and the fact that she calmly entered my condo the following morning to collect her belongings, made me realize that her greater fear was of her student loan debt. 

Indeed, when she told me she was stopping by to pick up her belongings, I had assumed she would have rung the doorbell so I could put the dogs in my bedroom, but she entered with her key despite the fact that my dog was barking as she entered.  She did not seem scared at all.

I was so accommodating to “Marnie” from the start and I feel embarrassed and angry with myself for being such a sap.  Here are the bullet points:

• I allowed her to check in a day early without paying because she had to start work early the next day.
• After spending the night at her boyfriend’s place Friday night, she asked if her sister could stay with her for a few nights and I told her she would not need to pay extra. Immediately after this, she informed me that she would be able to stay with a friend and wanted to cut her 4 week reservation by half and I agreed knowing full well that a lot of the Airbnb payment had already been spent.
• The night after she made these requests, she called me saying that she was too scared to enter my condo. I was out and it would have taken too long to get home, but her boyfriend apparently entered the condo to get what she needed as I assume her plan was to spend the night at his place anyway.  One message to me reminded me of her financial concerns:  “I had to take financial aid to help pay for this trip and I shouldn’t have to worry about this.  But it’s nothing personal ….”
• To repeat, she entered my condo the following morning despite the fact that my dog barked when he heard her enter the door code.
• My sappy-ass self actually sent her a text to remind her to make the reservation change request through Airbnb that evening.
• As I realized that I would have to scramble to transfer funds because I would be losing $1,000 I asked for other Airbnb hosts’ advice and their universal response was that she made a reservation for 26 days and the cancellation policy was such that I needn’t refund her at all.
• I offered to keep Radar in my bedroom or in a crate to make her feel safe and agreed that she could cut her reservation by 2 weeks rather than 3. She later wrote to say “it concerns me that you even tried to negotiate and pass the blame on my end.”
• She apparently was able to convince Airbnb that she became scared of Radar and they agreed with her. As I was trying to accommodate her early, unpaid arrival, I mentioned that I would feel better being home when she arrived because my dog was acting more territorial ever since the fireworks on the fourth of July.  She was able to use this against me.
• Despite her telling me many times about her family’s dog and how mine reminded her of her own, she also told me Sunday morning that she had been attacked by a dog as a child and this was to explain her strong reaction to my dog. Perhaps she could have considered this when I told her about how he was behaving oddly.  I sent her this text a week before her scheduled arrival and she could have cancelled the reservation without penalty.
• The message she sent to me the day after she got out of her reservation increased my anger and showed her to be entitled and focused on saving money since she had friends she was able to stay with for free.
• “For me the space was becoming unsuitable and even the later stages feeling unsafe for me. I did not voice these concerns very loudly because I am trying to be thoughtful of your needs.”  Excuse me?  Were you whispering the concerns under your breath?  Was I supposed to read your mind?  Did she want congratulations for “being thoughtful of my needs?”  I think that she meant to say was the space was becoming TOO EXPENSIVE FOR ME as I realized I could stay with friends for free.
• “At the end of the day though 90 dollars a night was unreasonable for my experience there and I have the right to leave when I felt was necessary.” First of all, my records indicate that I was getting $60/night so if she was paying $90, she should contact Airbnb and try to get more money back from THEM and not ME.  Even if I had charged $90/night, I am pretty sure SHE made the reservation and I did not force her to stay with me.  Furthermore, I would like to check Airbnb’s cancellation policy to see if it allows for the “right to leave when I feel necessary.”  Perhaps they have a special policy for millennials.
• And then, the piece de resistance: “To extend this a week because of my concern for you (which was definitely on my mind thus why I tried to work with your process initially) would have been completely absurd. I would not do that for a hotel and would not expect to do so for you, despite the level of respect I had for you.”  OOOOH to be patronized by someone who wants a pat on the back for trying to “work with [my] process initially.” I feel all warm and fuzzy to know that she respects me!!!!  Once again, I will need to compare Airbnb’s cancellation policy to hotel policies but I am pretty sure they can absorb cancellations and expect them. 
• So, in closing, I am the loser here. I lost a night’s worth of income when I allowed her to arrive early and I lost some sleep as I worried about her and her supposed fear of my dog and then I gained a little as I called her on her bluff and offered to keep Radar in my room.  But I lost again as she beat me to the punch and cried her crocodile tears to Airbnb.  I lost sleep and faith in humanity and lost the embarrassing amount of time and energy it has taken me to write this letter.  Oh, and I lost $1,000.
• But future Airbnb hosts, it might indeed be true that she was scared of my dog. Either way, “Marnie” seems like a generally upstanding person who just felt justified in screwing me out of income and getting out of her reservation because she found better, FREE, options locally. 

[Huma0]

@Sinead4 you are right, you can't leave a review like that, but sometimes it is good to write it down first, like you have done, just to vent your frustrations and then sleep on it.

Sorry to hear about your situation. It certainly seems like the guest knew what she was doing in terms of getting a refund!

Perhaps you could write something a bit more simple, along the lines of

"I've had such positive experiences with Airbnb guests but, unfortunately, this was not the case with Marnie. After I gave her a free night's accommodation prior to her booking, as well as letting her sister stay several nights for free, Marnie decided to cut her stay short by several weeks because she found free accommodation with friends. She managed to by-pass the cancellation policy and obtain a refund by falsely claiming she was scared of my dog - a strange statement given that she had already said how much he reminded her of her own dog and that she didn't seem so scared when she let herself in to pick up her belongings! Despite all the help I gave Marnie, she has left me out of pocket to the tune of $1,000. Future hosts, beware of accepting a booking from this guest."

[Huma0]

@Sinead4 however, you may not even be able to leave a review like that. If Airbnb agreed to a resolution in her favour, then I believe she has the right to have the review removed. I think I heard somewhere that you can't refer to anything relating to a resolution dispute in a review. Fellow hosts, correct me if I'm wrong!

[Sinead4]

Huma - I feel like I want to send you payment as I would a therapist!!! Or I wish I could buy you a drink!  You responded after I screamed into the void .. Okay ... a little melodramatic ... I sincerely appreciate your thoughtful reply and I will most definitely edit/shorten my response ...  

Intellectually, I KNOW this little blip is NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT but I tend to stew over injustices like this... thanks again!!!

[Huma0]

@Sinead4 I understand. I have sometimes also written a long and emotional review or response to a guest, but then waited until I calmed down and revisisted it, as well as occasionally posting it on the forums so that other hosts can help me calm down! It is so frustrating when a guest takes advantage of you or treats you badly, especially when you have gone out of your way to be kind and hospitable to them. You want everyone to know that they are the bad guy, not you, but unfortunately, this can be very off putting to future guests.

I think it's a great idea to get it all down in writing just so you have the chance to vent, even if that venting will never see the light of day! Just don't publish it in the heat of the moment.

I'll definitely take you up on that drink if I'm ever in your neck of the woods 🙂