@Michelle1197 my advice would be to calmly state your case to ABB CS, a cursory glance thru this host's listing shows that clearly there are some issues there.
It also appears that you went on to have a good ABB experience elsewhere, so perhaps under less stressful circumstances you will be ready to be a more careful ABB guest.
For example: a host with 4 host cancellations is a terrible idea, if homey-ness is important to you then there were several reviews telling you that this wasn't a good place for you, the stairs themselves aren't shown, but I see evidence of handrails and the beginning of stairs in about half of the listing's photos, so when mobility is an issue that would merit more careful inquiry.
In all cases (especially when you're traveling with an animal and an elderly person) it is better to talk with a host first to see if their expectations and yours line up. ABB instant booking feature is not always helpful to a happy stay.
Should you have the unfortunate case to have an abb problem again, then what you should have done was gotten ABB CS on the phone from directly in the listing's driveway and asked them to help you. By cancelling, booking elsewhere & then blasting the first host you turned it into a "bad guest" and "bad host" situation which doesn't help you.
Of course in this case you were stressed by the weather, so the best way to get a refund now, is to try to start again, remain calm, explain what happened and what you'd like to have happen now and drop the whole "I'm calling my lawyer and everyone is awful".
Good luck