Do you let guests receive mail?

[Huma0]

I have seen other threads on this subject, but dealing more with scams and fraudulent activity conducted by guests, e.g. regisering businesses, bank accounts, social security  etc. at the host's home. Of course, those are situations we all want to avoid (I have been the victim of a large identity fraud involving the postal service), but I want to talk about guests receiving mail in general.

Do you allow it? If not, how do you stop guests from doing it?

I have in my house rules (which I ask all guests to confirm they have read) that guest must NOT give out my address as a mailing address (but that long-term guests can ask permission first). I do understand that if someone is staying with me for months, they may need to receive some mail within reason, but I cannot allow short term guests ( I host around 150 people a year) to give out my home address.

Many companies will spam you forever regardless of how many times you return to sender. Only today, I got a letter addressed to a girl who stayed for two days in December 2016 and never asked permission to give out the address. When I emailed her asking her to get it removed from that mailing list, she first claimed that I had messaged the wrong person and then, when I confirmed her full name, that it still had nothing to do with her. How else did her full name + my full address get on the letter then?

I have had numerous guests receive mail at my house, often concert or football tickets, but also packages of varying descriptions. If they ask permission at all, they usually ask after placing the order, so they are not really asking, just letting me know so that I can be their concierge service! I have also had demands for payment sent by FedEx which the guest lied about and I had to sort out myself.

A current guest, who is staying a month, casually told me the first day that he would be getting his groceries delivered to the house. When I reminded him that he wasn't supposed to give out my address, he seemed shocked and asked what he was supposed to do about his Amazon orders. I reluctantly agreed he could order things from Amazon, but nowhere else (as Amazon don't tend to send spam mail). Since then, he's had numerous packages arrive from different companies. I can only imagine how many years I'll be receiving mail for him after he leaves. My other guest, who is staying six months, had six enormous boxes delivered after she arrived (I'm talking the size of suitcases). She did ask permission and said she would be sending them to China within one or two weeks. Two months later, I had to ask her to please have the boxes shipped back.

How can I stop this? I tell them no, but they do it anyway. I am thinking of adding to my rules: "Any unauthorised mail received will immediately be returned to sender or destroyed." Is that too harsh? And what if it still happens? It would be difficult to follow through on this without causing a big drama!

[Christeen4]

I have banned them from receiving mail but yet again last Friday morning I was playing mail delivery.   I am completely sick of this.  Our HOA’s on 4 properties are a minimum of 30 days and these people refuse to get a PO Box.   I am a superhost btw.   What am I doing wrong?

Thank you.

[Huma0]

Also, I don't know what Airbnb's policy is on this. I can't find it now, but I read somewhere on the website that it's not against the rules for a guest to receive mail but that they should ask the host's permission first.

[Rajan2]

@Huma0 Thank you for this thread. I did not know this existed and started another thread https://community.withairbnb.com/t5/Hosting/Potential-Reservations-asking-about-using-the-mailbox/td... to find answers to this issue. 

I did reach out to Airbnb to get information on whether this is an issue or not and have not heard back from them. I will continue following up on this to get this resolved. As hosts, we have all been hurt by the Pandemic. There is no reason to add additional trauma to our existing pain. I hope there is a policy on this ASAP.

[Huma0]

@Rajan2 

I could be wrong, but as far as I know, the only policy from Airbnb regarding this is that guests need to ask their host for permission.

The problem I have found is that guests 'ask' only after the mail is already on the way and some don't ask at all. It never occurs to them that this would be a problem because, usually, they don't see it in the context of them being just one of many, many guests who will stay at your home and that a 'small' problem becomes a large problem when it's multiplied.

It's the same as when guests ignore my instructions not to park on my neighbour's drive. "What's the big deal?" they ask, "It's only for a short time." Well, how would they feel if random strangers were constantly parking on their property and blocking their car?

A guest who believes themselves to be trustworthy doesn't consider that not all guests will be trustworthy and issues like fraud, implications for Council Tax payments etc. My house rules are there for a reason, not things I just randomly make up because I'm bored, and guests are not supposed to just cherry pick which ones they will follow or not.

So, yes, you are right that it would be very helpful if Airbnb provided clearer guidance to guests on these sort of matters, but I doubt they will do it.

[Mark1412]

Can you legally distroy mailed addressed to somenone else?

We rent to people who come to the area for work. Sometimes they need parts to be overnighted to them. I have not issues with collecting their mail. We get lots of other deliveries so one or two more is not an issue. It is nice when the guest lets us know so we can keep an eye out for it.

I would just let it go. I think if you send someone concert tickets back "return to sender" you are going to have a very upset guest on your hands. Not worth the hassle over a few piece of mail and some junk mail that you can easly toss in the trash or write "return to sender" on.

[Huma0]

@Mark1412 

Yes, you're probably right that you cannot destroy someone else's mail (I would have to look this up). I never open anyone's mail without permission although there are some circumstances where the law here does allow you to do this. I'm just trying to find a way to deter guests from getting their mail sent here.

Also, returning mail to sender while not a problem if the guest has already checked out, I can see that current or future guests would be upset if they were expecting something important/that they had paid for. Again, I'm just trying to deter them.

It might not be a problem for you, but I do find it a problem. I don't want endless amounts of spam coming through my door and, more importantly, I don't want my home address given out willy nilly to numerous companies or individuals without my consent. I would never do that without permisson while staying in someone else's home, but other people don't seem to think twice.

I don't know how it is in the US, but here it can often be impossible to get details taken off a mailing list. I have been receiving bank statements for someone who registered a business account at my address without my permission in 2009 (they also registered with Companies House using my address). I have been trying unsuccessfully to have my address removed from this person's account for ten years!

Another time I started to get threatening letters for payment from FedEx, which the guest said she would deal with but, it turned out, lied about. She had given my address as the payment address and the sole contact details. A friend of mine had her front door kicked down by bailiffs trying to collect unpaid bills from someone who lived there years before. She and her toddler had to spend the night with no front door because she couldn't get it sorted out that night. That is not what I need.

I mentioned also the identity fraud. Thousands of pounds were stolen from my bank account and I was locked out of all my accounts/unable to use my card for weeks. That fraud was conducted by someone who requested a new card using my name and home address.

So, am I uncomfortable with hundreds of strangers using my home address for whatever purposes they like? You can bet I am.

[Louisa82]

well said @Huma0  

totally agree,  i have a Nigerian student staying for 6 days, he said he will be opening a bank account from my address, I told him under no circumstances will that be happening, i went to the bank and asked if they could clarify my address wasn't used. to open any bank accounts, ... they couldn't because of data protection. - where's my data protection? so I've now contacted the university on my concerns awaiting their reply. i will also contact fraud investigation to get their response.

the guest also asked me today if i was going to work tomorrow? no i replied he then went on to say he has a Monzo credit card being delivered tomorrow. unfortunately, he will not be receiving it, 

I find it a bloody cheek and rude, that people think they can register bank cards at my address. as you said i wouldn't dream of doing it. 

what i don't understand is they have bank accounts and credit? Debit cards accessible around the world...open to fraud 

my security and protection is paramount.

[Huma0]

@Louisa82 

I would also not be happy about this at all. Have you reminded the guest that this is against your house rules (assuming that was mentioned there)? 

Like you said, the problem is, once the bank registers someone at your address, you cannot get that account removed from the address even if you can prove that person does not live there. It can become a nightmare...

[Louisa82]

@Huma0 

Absolutely right, the bank was not helpful at all, I'll be writing to their financial advisor about my concerns and then the ombudsman if not satisfied, 

no i didn't put it in my house rules, but after reading your stories and others, its prompted me to act.. and i very much doubt in the future i will except international students,

[Huma0]

@Louisa82 

I think it is wise to put it in your house rules.

As for banks, I hear what you are saying. It is REALLY difficult to get them to take an address off an account, even it if belongs to you, let alone when it belongs to someone else.

[Christine2820]

I'm in Bristol. I have an international student staying for 8 days, he arrived two days ago and started receiving mail today - a parcel arrived for them, I was not asked about this. I have a guest staying for a month who also started receiving mail today, again I wasn't asked about this, they had a package and an official looking letter in a brown envelope. I am not against guests receiving mail if they need to, but the lack of communication isn't on. I would have concerns also if a guest used my address to set up a bank account. 

[Huma0]

@Christine2820 

If you would prefer for a guest to consult you beforehand, or there are certain things you do not want them using your address for, then it's best to state that clearly in your house rules. 

In my experience, guests don't think twice about using the address for stuff. It doesn't even cross their minds that it would be a problem and, in the past, I found that the only time they 'asked' if it was okay, they weren't really asking, the package/letter was already on the way and the only reason they were telling me was because it might get here before they checked in, so they wanted me to keep an eye out for it. They didn't  even realise how cheeky they were being. They acted surprised when I reminded them that my rules stated no mail.

So, I made it very clear in my house rules. Really clear, i.e. that it would be returned to sender. I have since softened slightly as I host long stays, some of them several months, but only if they ask. So, Amazon packages are okay, within reason. Food deliveries are okay. Registering bank accounts, credit cards, national insurance etc. absolutely NOT okay. That's not to say it never happens, but it certainly hasn't happened in a long time.

Plus, they absolutely have to ask my permission for any deliveries. This is the part that some people still continues to ignore. One recent guest told me, "Oh, I know I am not supposed to receive packages, but my friends really wanted to send me a gift," as if it didn't matter whether it was in the rules nor not. Another, staying at the same time, had a package arrive without saying a word. I overlooked it. The second time it happened, it was sent back. 

I know that sounds a bit mean, and it's the first time that I did it, but I thought enough. This girl was breaking so many house rules (albeit not the major ones) and I was fed up.

[Debra300]

@Huma0,

We receive all of our bills electronically, and often have our mail held at the post office when we travel for extended periods.  It's explicitly stated in the house rules that guests may not use our address for anything other than food or online shopping deliveries.  We do say that it's best to have shopping packages delivered to a UPS or Fedex store or the post office, because if an item is shipped via mail it will not be delivered and may not be released to them since the mail hold request doesn't list their name as a resident at the address. 

One not-so-great guest failed to heed our rule, and her package was included in our held items when they were delivered when we returned home from abroad, and she had already checked out.  We also received a bank advertising mailer addressed to her, and I wrote on it, "Return to sender.  Never lived here.".  When we go home again, I will see if there are any other mailers from the bank.

[Huma0]

@Debra300 

I also have it explicitly stated in the listing, but some guests still ignore that. This has decreased though since I started really spelling it out and saying stuff will be returned to sender.

The problem here with banks is that it seems to be REALLY hard to get them to remove addresses. I had a guest who stayed for six months who went ahead and registered her bank account and credit card here without asking. She promised to have it changed when she left, and I think I believe that she tried, but it took several months and several attempts. I had a friend who lived with me at my previous address who had the same problem. It took her six months of nagging the bank to get them to change the address on the account.

If you think that's bad, I had a housemate move out in January 2011 whom I'm no longer in touch with and I still get letters for him from the bank. They are not mostly statements. They look like something more problematic than that, because they are sporadic in frequency, but still fairly frequent. I send every one back to sender, writing 'does not live here'. 

Eventually, I called up the bank and the guy I spoke to was astonished about it, but when he went into the system, told me, "Sorry, there is nothing I can do because there is a problem with the account. So, I can't change the address." Great. At least the bailiffs haven't shown up. Yet...

A friend of mine had her front door kicked down by bailiffs looking for previous tenants who had not paid utility bills. She had lived there and had been paying her bills for around ten years.

[Debra300]

@Huma0,

Wow, the story about the bailiffs is astonishing, but all of our last known addresses are tracked.  I wouldn't be surprised if they just go to what's listed in hopes of finding the person or someone who is still in contact with them.