You will not get the host in trouble by contacting AB&B. When a host creates a listing AB&B gives the host a choice of three cancellation policies to choose from. The policy is not created by the host. Therefore, AB&B will follow the policy the host chose when mediating your dispute.
Some hosts will provide refunds only if they are able to rebook, some provide no refund at all as a cancellation causes a host to lose money in many cases.
In the future, you might glance at a listing's refund policy prior to booking. You may be more comfortable with hosts that have chosen the flexible policy over moderate or strict.
As a host, I do wish to thank you for being an AB&B guest. There are lots of great hosts out here and I hope that this experience will not dissuade you from using the service in the future.