Help! Long term guest regrets.

[Anne937]

Hi, so I am really new at hosting- in fact my current guest is only my second and she is staying with us for 10 weeks. I know I sort of got myself in a pickle by not listing house rules and agreements before hand but I just didn’t know what to put in there quite yet and was going to feel it out.

Well so now I don’t know how I should bring up the (small) issues we have with her staying with us. 

I only charge a $25 cleaning fee and she has agreed to do her own sheets/room/ and dishes I clean everything else. She isn’t very messy but she will leave the counters drenched in water and her used kleenexes everywhere. She broke a whisky bottle of mine and expected me to clean it up. She is using a 3x as much TP and shampoo/conditioner/ and body wash than me and my boyfriend do (we have separate bathrooms) and she is very expectant that I keep replacing all of it. She will wash her clothes twice because she is afraid they won’t be clean enough. She will start making her dinner while we are trying to make ours and in our small kitchen there just isn’t room for that so we stop making ours.

Honestly I know these are very small complaints and I want to be accommodating but I feel slightly taken advantage of and 3 weeks in I am starting to get resentful. I give her rides places like the grocery store and go out of my way to accommodate her stay so I feel like I set a precedence that I can’t back out of. Any advice will be greatly appreciated. And like I said I know they are small issues but I don’t want to be super knitpicky (which I know I am being) but i feel with everything put together I just feel like I need to have a conversation with her but just don’t know the etiquette. 

Thanks!

[Inna22]

Even though the issues are small, I am sure they are really annoying. As far as dinner, ask her tomorrow- what time do you think you would like to eat? We would like to plan our cooking around yours so we are not in your way. And do just that. Also, during your next trip to the store say to her- just want to remind you to buy some toilet paper. I think you are about to run out. Buy a really small plastic bucket or one of those $1 kids beach pails, hand it to her and say- could you do me a favor and collect the Kleanex in this from now on? And put it where she leaves most of the Kleanex. Hope some of these work!

[Anne937]

Thanks! I will have to use some of these tactics 😉 

[Cathie19]

@Inna0. Great ideas all of them. 

[Fred13]

Unfortunately @Anne0, a 10-week commitment (of sorts) with only your 2nd guest, is a bit ambitious, and risky. The existing situation is headed to a showdown, time to hit the reset button. Best to  reconsider your obligations; for starters you shouldn't be running a free taxi service. Imagine 7 more weeks of this 'semi-hostage' situation.

[Ellen33]

To me they are not little things.

For 10 weeks she could buy her own shower products.

And after doing dishes ask her to clean your bench.

And i know you installed something but you really have to find a way to get it in the air and be able to talk about it. Good luck

[Anne937]

Thanks for making me not feel crazy about the issues. A bunch of small things can easily add up to making a living situation tense. And now that I know that it is okay to reestablish expectations I will feel confident in doing so. 

[Anne937]

In retrospect, yes it was very ambitious. I think we were expecting it to be more of a roommate situation but considering her age (early twenties) and some slight communication issues with English not being her first language we are finding it more of a challenge than anticipated. I thought I would just be nice and help her out a bit but I think I’ve turned more into her mother than a business owner. I don’t know how to swing the pendulum back to business without going in crazy mode. Also, I could be overthinking it.

Either way it has been a learning experience for sure.  

[Paul154]

I know you know.

You don't have a guest.  You have a roommate who thinks she's a guest.

I can feel your pain. I've been there many, many times.

Honesty is always good. Call Airbnb and tell them what you said here:

1. You're new

2. You didn't know

3. You might kill the guest while she sleeps...

Then have the "This isn't working out" talk with your guest.

Be nice, but firm.

Kick her out.  

Determine how much you will negotiate with her. 3 days notice?

1 day notice + $xx goodwill?

There are other places for her.

While many people might be able to turn this situation around through diplomacy, I am not one of those people. This arrangement is toxic. No amount of money is worth the stress.

Good luck

[Stephanie365]

Long term guests are expected to do their own house keeping and provide their own supplies. It's no different than if she was renting a hotel room or a furnished apartment short term. 

Stop providing the taxi service immediately. And let her know nicely but firmly that long term guests are expected to do their own house keeping and provide their own supplies. 

I would also go to your calendar and change your settings to only allow guests to stay short-term; say 2 weeks. At least until you get a feel for how the AIrBNB system works. 

The one comfort you can take is if this turns ugly and you have to ask her to leave, this is only your second guest.  You can delete your profile and create a new one and start fresh.

[Fred13]

@Anne0, first God bless for being so kind of heart. Considering she is young and you are 'young' 🙂 enough to be her mother, I would sit her down, and set a 'plan' of expectations and give it a shot; if things improve, you pulled a 'saver'. If not, time to pull the plug, ala what @Paul0 suggested.

   Either way, it is a good learning experience. 

[Jane621]

@ Anne  am also a new host , but you just have to be firm with her print out  the rules and pin them in her room ,kitchen rules in the kitchen and inform her to cater for her transport , what is the worst that can happen?? walking out?? let her go, don't let yourself to be a prisoner in your own house

[Jessica-and-Henry0]

I like longer-term guests and most have been students in their early~mid 20s but your's sounds like a serious piece of work. I agree with others you need to be firm. Say " I appologize if XXX was not clear in my listing description but XXX does not mean you can XXX. I did not think to state this as a rule because for me it is common sense but apparently we have different understanding of what "common sense" is".

If she makes a mess, call her and MAKE her clean it up (don't do it for her and complain about it) - tell her the 25$ cleaning fee does not include maid service. Also, don't provide an endless supply of TP - say (nicely) 3 rolls per week is more than enough for 1 person. If the guest needs more than the already generous amount provided, tell her to get her own excess supply. Same for other amenities - tell her your prices did not factor in extreme wastefulness. Charge her for the whiskey bottle she broke (plus cleaning fee). Agree on separate dinner prep times so the kitchen is not too crowded. Post rules where they are visible. Make sure you have proof on ABB messenger of this discussion with the guest and if there is not improvement, tell the guest  "This is not working, you need to leave. I will refund the remaining nights and you have 2 days to find somewhere else to stay", inform ABB of your decision and proceed to kick her out. Maintain a calm and business-like attitude. Don't get emotional. Then work on improving your house rules and do's & don'ts before hosting your next guest. Good luck~

[Laurie280]

I agree; and would only add to let ABB know this is developing, that you are trying to resolve it by (all of the above).... then update them after the communication to the renter, either way. This protects you from any complaints or attacks to ABB she may attempt and gives you ammo if they need to help with a bad review or more. Just my 2 cents. 🙂

[Cathie19]

Hi @Ann0. 

Get on to it girl.... House rules NOW!

Are you also a paid Uber driver?   If not, then stop the regular taxi service. An occasional offer, but that was not in the rental agreement.

I hope you are working on your basic basic rules as we speak......

Print them off on a nice piece of paper and maybe a happy face logo alongside an Airbnb logo.

Maybe laminate them and put them where she or future guests can see them. 

Start making yourself a folder or guide for your space.... do it now, and then you can alter as needed. And you will make changes....

Do as @Inna0 suggests >  ASAP.

 I personally will not host longer than 3 weeks. If they are here two, & we are getting on, and I've no other bookings, I might change my mind. Better to be seen as nice, then mean by asking to leave.

"BUT YOU ARE THE BOSS OF YOUR HOME AND THE AIRBNB SPACE. "

My three "F"s:   *********** Fair, Friendly, but Firm.***********

Used tissues left everywhere is unhygienic and just not okay for our global guests.

Request they are discarded in bins at all times, then observe for behaviour change.

If no change is forthcoming, or she gets annoyed, state "this is my home,  and even as a guest within the Airbnb community, you are expected to also respect it.  If you are unable to follow basic rules then you will need to find accommodation elsewhere by xxxxxx a date.

Maybe write if taking in long term guests; We provide a starting pack of basic essentials (as listed by Airbnb). Outside this quantity, you will need to provide any additional personal needs.

This doesn't mean no soap or toilet paper... just that you will provide what is considered a reasonable quantity, not an exceptional quantity.

You are new host , but there is no need to fear the guest. Alternatively state you are unable to continue the accommodation. A bad review now, is better then in 7 weeks. Get her out, and start afresh....