How do I rate these guests?

[Theresa-Thuy0]

Hi there!

At the moment I am renting a room out to two guests for a few days. I live in the next room with my boyfriend, and we share bathroom and kitchen with lour guests. I only have three rules for the guests, which I stated both on the airbnb-posting and on a sign in my apartment, these are the following rules: No smoking, NO SHOES INDOORS, No parties. Moreover, I told them about these rules, emphasizing the fact that I do not want shoes indoors...firstly, because I'm asian and it's extremely impolite to walk around with shoes indoors at somebody's house + I walk around my apartment bare-footed. 

The guests are both nice and friendly, though we did not talk much. BUT every time I come home the bathroom is filled with mud, as if they took a shower and then entered with their shoes. I have been cleaning the floor every day, and today I even found a big bloody mark on the toilet seat.....

I was wondering how I should rate these guest... All in all they have been nice and non-disturbing, but I can not believe that they just toally ignored my rules, even when I made sure to tell them and even hung a sign right outside their room...

Should I write about this in their review, or just give them 3 stars in cleaning and 4 stars in following my rules?

- T

[Jessica-and-Henry0]

@Theresa-Thuy0 

I think you should have taken pictures before cleaning and sent a warning through Airbnb that they are not respecting the house rule the first time it happened. Also that if this happens again that you will contact Airbnb to report them and cancel the remainder of their stay with no refund. This is probably how I would have handled it (although truthfully I'm also a new host)

In terms of a review.... I would just be honest that you were a bit hurt to find traces that they did not respect your "no shoes indoors" rule.

As a fellow Asian I sympathize about the situation you are in and would like to suggest something my sister has done in her home (she lives in the U.S.). She has this big old rug in front of the entrance and a bench where people can sit to take off their shoes in necessary. She also keeps a couple cheap slippers and flipflops of various sizes that she picked up on sale as "indoor" shoes. And she keeps a few easy to slip on communal outdoor slippers by the entrances that lead outside. When she has guests over, she will put up a sign about the no outdoor shoes in the house rule. She also has a few open shelves in the closet where people are supposed to place their outdoor shoes. At times, she will take the shelves out of the closet and place them in clear sight with a sign to put shoes here. People who are not in the habit of taking shoes off when entering homes will need a reminder "in their face" every time they come through the doorway. Hope this helps~! Good luck!

[Robin4]

@Theresa-Thuy0

Hi T, I know that is cutomary in most Asian countries not to wear street footwear inside the house, and personally I do think that that is a really fine custom to adhere too. Unfortunately most guests from a western culture do not do that, and in fact think it is totally un-neccessary as far as they are concerned. Their stance is actually quite derogatory and insulting, they seem to be infering that their level of cleanliness is beyond reproach.

Theresa, you do make mention of the status of footwear on your property in your listing but it is tucked away right down at the end and many guests won't see it there! I think it may be worthwhile making more of a comment about it in the Guest access section of your listing.

You could say something along the lines of....."The wonderful thing about home hosting is the blending of our many cultures and we will accept others and hope that they will accept ours. In an endeavour to provide a level of cleanliness beyond question, and adhering to one of our cultural traditions we request that street footwear be removed before entering the property. It may sound an odd thing to some but it is important to us, thanks in anticipation!"

You have not been offensive in saying that T but, you have got your message across and guests may make the extra effort to conform!

Now, to your present situation! I would not cane the guest in your review because, as you said in other ways they were good guests.

I would say something along the lines of...."Communication with ***** was great and in general it was a pleasure to host them. However we all have personal ideas and rules that we like to have respected and it was just a little unfortunate that these guests did not place a bit more importance on my wishes where their personal footwear was concerned. With just a bit more thought and understanding of cultural differences I am sure they will make wonderful guests, and I wish them all the best for the future!"

Leave it at that Theresa, don't provoke a verbal 'arm wrestle' with them....you have some very nice reviews and if you want to mark them down in star rating I would not go less than 4....it's not that they were trying to be difficult, they just didn't think is was a major problem....they were just a bit insensitive!

I hope this can be of help to you Theresa.

Cheers.....Rob

[Theresa-Thuy0]

Hi Robin & @Anette 

Thank you for your advice! 🙂 

Apart from writing down my no-shoes-indoors-rule on the Air-bnb listing, I clearly emphasized it to my guests as soon as they walked in. Moreover I put up a huge sign that you can't miss when entering the room, where it says: NO SHOES INDOORS. 

I am quite shy when it comes to confronting guests with such issues, especially because I already told them once. (Plus the sign is there). In addition to the mud, blood stains on the toilet seats, they out dirty dishes together with my clean ones...guests like these make me want to stop doing airbnb to be honest. 

Thank you all for sharing your opinions with me! 🙂 I will think about your advice, when I write the review. Luckily, they are leaving tomorrow morning 🙂

[Andrea9]

@Theresa-Thuy0 Hi,

For me too - no street shoes in house. Feels like leaving the dirt and stress from outside there at the door!

Guests often have really short memories (and thankfully there's only very few actually provocating guests), so you'll find that you'll have to don your Mamma cloak (no @Robin4, not the Mrs. Doubtfire one, haha!) and either tell them directly in person if you happen to see them or leave a quick note to remind them. "Hey guys, hope you're enjoying your stay! A short house rule reminder about leaving outdoor shoes at the entrance and not wearing them inside the home. Thanks! 🙂 "

Don't just suffer in silence. Also check out Evelyn Badia's tips on a lot of themes: http://www.evelynbadia.com/

Re. the review: Giving them less points at this point seems more like a personal vindication excercise only, because I've still yet to see it shown on any guest's profile. >>>Guests stayed several days/ were (anything nice to say? or whatever else to say). They were new Airbnb users and while inexperienced in home-sharing I'm sure that when they realize that the normal etiquette is like staying at an aunt's home without a daily cleaning service, they'll be great guests.

(This is off the bat and the wrinkles haven't been smoothed as well as could be, but I'm sure you get the gist of what I'm trying to convey)

Play around with the text for a couple days till your frustration has subsided and you like the sound of your review. Or hopefully more hosts will chime in. Many say this is the price of hosting, but in a private home I disagree and feel that some respect for anothers space is called for.

Cheers

[Jessica-and-Henry0]

@Andrea9

I love love love your comment "when they realize that  the normal etiquette is like staying at an aunt's home without a daily cleaning service, they'll be great guests."

Although I hope I never actually have to use this type of phrasing, I will keep it with the list of expressions I save just in case 🙂 Thank you! 

[Annette33]

@Theresa-Thuy0 , as aggravating as it is that they are not taking off their shoes and you have thus extra cleaning to do, it is temporary and no financial damage has occured. That's good news! So I don't think this is a case serious enough to take pictures of or to get Airbnb involved.
Your house rules say, "please no shoes.." : not to excuse the guests, but it sounds more of a wish than a rule. Perhaps take the "please" out of it, it would make it clearer that you are serious. Also, aside from directly talking to your guests about it in a clear manner, perhaps provide a specific place right next to the entrance where to put the shoes, you probably do that already - and perhaps even provide socks to put on? Just highlighting the issue in non confrontational terms and providing alternatives might bring some success.
Re review: they did break your house rule and I would mention it, but neither in a long rant nor in long winded friendly ways,  just something factual like : nice, friendly couple, but disappointed that they didn't observe my house rule about taking off their shoes. I would also make a bit of a subtraction in the stars given, the mud in the bthroom is a bit inconsiderate, eapecially in light of your house rule.
Or you could decide all together not to leave a review at all, that is what I do sometimes with people I didn't particularly care for but who didn't cause me major problems either.

[Jessica-and-Henry0]

@Annette33

Wearing outdoor shoes inside someone's home can be considered equal to vandalism in Asian culture. It only hapens if the goal is to show total and absolute disrespect to the homeowner. Sure..... you can clean it up but you can also paint over walls that someone spray painted insults on, or take a shower if someone threw eggs at you.

While I do understand that because of cultural differences some people might not fully understand why @Theresa-Thuy0 is so upset, even if those guests didn't know the implications of their actions, the feeling of disrespect that T is experiencing is the same. 

[Annette33]

@Jessica-and-Henry0, I totally sympathize with @Theresa-Thuy0. In practical and realistic terms however, this is happening in a Western country, thus I don't think Airbnb would  consider it vandalism, nor would there be a major reprimand towards the guest from Airbnb if supplied pictures. That's just how I see it, especially as Airbnb isn't particularly pro-active when it comes to hosts' concerns and grievances. Very glad though that there is no major damage and that those inconsiderate guests will be gone very soon! 

[Theresa-Thuy0]

Dear Annette,

Not only is it seen as disrespectful in Asian cultures, but also in Scandinavia. I live with my Italian boyfriend, who is even more unhappy about it than I am...not only because we have to clean after them every day, but because they completely IGNORED our rules deliberately... I do understand why some people wear shoes indoors, but wearing shoes in the bathroom right after a shower? I cannot believe they did not notice what a mess they created.

Anyway, the dirt is not the essence of the problem...Can you imagine inviting "strangers" inside your private home, thinking that you might get two new friends, who respects that they are staying over at your home, and not just a random place that they can mess up? We have only been hosting for 3 months, but we have already had so many nice memories, eating dinners and hanging out with guests and so on... but honestly I feel uncomfortable living with people who don't care about my boundaries, even though they started out being nice taking off their shoes at the entrance...

[Andrea9]

@Theresa-Thuy0

Don't expect ABB to enforce your house rules. They make hosting sound so warm and soft and making new friends and Shangrila, however the bottom line is that many visitors see the booking mainly as a nice and not too pricey place to stay. Even if you're shy, you're going to have to learn to put on your boss pants - it's a rental business and you and your partner are the CEOs of your business. Step up and say something as soon as a rule isn't followed. If you don't you'll end up being used as a doormat as with this set of guests. Be sweet, charming or whatever your style is, but enforce your own borders. It's one of the hardest things some of us have to learn. 

If they suffer from chronic short-term forgetfulness and keep on 'forgetting', you might even have to say Guys, it isn't working that well with the shoes. Can we agree that you respect the house rules you accepted on booking? If you'd rather though because it's too much of a bother for you, I can call ABB (right now) and ask to have you relocated. Of course you'll already have to have their # on speed dial to pull that one off, but I'm sure you already have.

Another thing to remember is that the message booking page is a record of proof, and if you've already reminded them a couple of times, best follow up with a message to just sum it all up. 

As you say, they'll be leaving soon, so you may not want to confront this set of guests. Next time better not wait so long.

[Robin4]

@Theresa-Thuy0

Hi again Theresa, I hadn't realised from your intitial post that these guests had broken a number of house rules! I thought it was just the shoes, although you did make mention of blood on a toilet seat. But you infered that they were ok in other ways which was why I suggested what I did!

If they were untidy, put away dirty dishes, did not suitably respect your space after being asked to, them I can totally understand why you want them out of your life, and although being diplomatic, you should give them a less that perfect review.

I would keep it short and say something like....." Communication with ***** was good but they are unfortunately more suited to a hotel environment, and their continued inability to comply with my house rules was disappointing! Although I wish them well, I would reluctantly decline an offer to host them again".

You haven't accused them of being anything other than being lazy kids and Airbnb would not see any grounds in that review to have it removed. If they do review you, and it is a poor review don't get into a lengthy response and start trading verbal blows to try and justify what you do, just thank them briefly for their feedback and move on T. You want poor reviews to disappear quickly not stick out like a 'black eye', so don't draw attention to it by launching into a tirade of a response.

Cheers....Rob

[Marit-Anne0]

Not only in Asia, in Scandinavia also, it is customary to take the shoes off when entering a home. 

[Hilary-And-Ed0]

Hello @Theresa-Thuy0,

Enough has been said about the review, but may I suggest a visual prompt?  We have a no-shoes-in-general policy in the house.  We do have a bunch of our own shoes by the front and back doors, and most people catch a glance at it, and just take their shoes off with out being asked, or they suggest it themselves.  It won't work for everyone, but it will help.

[Theresa-Thuy0]

Hi Hilary,

Thanks for the tip, but we have our shoes at the entrance as well...So I don't know why they don't get it... 😕