Hello Ursula. I totally understand your struggle as I have the same issue. I too have been told they weren't interested in hosting me. It's such a struggle for sure. It is something I am working on educating people on in a large scale, but for now it is hard. I have had some luck asking if they would mind just cleaning with vinegar and if they have plug in's. If that goes well I usually have no problem with the place. Perhaps that will help you.
In the future if you are ever on the east coast and are looking for a fragrance free Air BnB, I will be listing one in Greenfield, NY in about 2-3 weeks.
Blessings on your journey.