Challenge! Write a house rules poem!

[Laura2592]

I came up with this and am thinking about posting it in our space. Thought it would be fun to see what sort of poetry you could make out of your house rules. Haiku? Sonnet? Rap? Let's see your creativity shine, fellow hosts.

In the country you might find

Relaxation and peace of mind

But just as often, you will see

insects, spiders or a bumblebee.

Attracted to light, indoors they may zip

So keep alert unloading from your trip.

Also there are condiments and ice (by the way)

As these things we keep stocked for our own cottage stay

If such shared items offend, feel free to ignore

And bring your own goodies to temporarily store.

Though visitors love to tour our little place

We are not overly blessed with an abundance of space

So please limit your groups to 4 beings or less

Any drop-ins approved only by written requests

Lush and a bit overgrown, it’s a storybook house

So please don’t leave messes that attract a field mouse.

Enjoy the porch view with a bottle of wine

And don’t forget the 12 noon check out time!

Our cottage is special, charming and quaint

But the Four Seasons Maui it certainly ain’t.

We hope you unwind, exhale and take in the vibe

Of this rustic retreat we try hard to describe.

[Laura2592]

Ooh two more stanzas! I am going to town LOL.

We love animals, pets of all kinds

But keep them leashed in the yard or else you may find

They bother wandering chickens or get sprayed by a skunk

And that’s a vacation you can really say “stunk.”

Added to pets is the question of poo

And we expect that with disposal you will absolutely do

The right thing to put it in the proper poo can

And not leave it where it can be trod on by man.

[Laura2592]

Ooh more! I think I will frame this and hang it up inside.

We have no disposal: we are on a well

So food down the sink makes for clogs that aren’t swell

Anything other than tissue or waste has been banned

From flushing in the toilet; see that its trash canned.

Fire safety is paramount both indoor and out!

Seasonal burn bans have put blazes in doubt.

Make extra sure that the pit and the ‘place

Are available to use when you stay at our space.

[Heather1271]

Thank you for sharing, you should publish!!!!!

It actually described our Airbnb to a T..

No worries though, I wont steal 😊

[Mike-And-Helen0]

@Laura2592 nice one!

I will go acrostic

Be here between 5 and 9

All guests must book online

Beware the mad Labradors

Because they'll be in your door

Away you will be by 2

Gather your things about you

Excellent reviews you will leave

Superhosts have tricks up their sleeve.

This is the name of our farm.

Or a haiku

Visit the country

For peace and tranquility

Yet! Dogs bark, crows caw.

[Laura2592]

@Mike-And-Helen0  I love it! This is making me unreasonably happy. I am used to being much crankier in the host forum LOL. 

[Linda3345]

Nice poem! Could you talk to me about the labradors? We have a golden retriever, very friendly, and used to roaming his yard (acreage) and doesn't leave it. I wanted to find a way to mention this in the listing or house rules, but should I also offer that if someone does not want to meet the dog, he will be kept away? I could do that by walking him on his leash down the road, but it would get tiresome for him and me, for more than 1-2 days. 

How to handle that? 

[Mike-And-Helen0]

@Linda3345 ours are not free range in the guest's outside space unless we're there to supervise.

Really I think people are daft to book a stay where there are dogs if they're scared of them. We had one of course...

We have pics of ours in the listing and the elder even gets a mention in reviews!

[Mark116]

You come to New York

To see the sights and enjoy

Leave all as you found

[Laura2592]

@Mark116 , short, simple and to the point. If only it were that easy!

[Lisa6549]

Wow gf you rocked that!!

[Robin4]

@Laura2592 

Oh Laura, can I join in?

Now this is a bit tongue in cheek but I couldn't resist having a bit of fun here.....

My House Rules:

Thanks for booking our cottage for your upcoming stay,

Just a few simple points to note if I may.

When you enter our street look for the sign at the gate.

Our dog Betts will give you a bark, her way of saying, G’day mate!

The key’s in the door so let yourself in,

There’s drinks in the fridge but please, don’t touch the Gin.

The cheese,fruit and crackers are all on the house

But close the bloody door or you may catch a mouse.

The WiFi access is there on the wall

Please try not to abuse it, it’s there for all

The TV remote works well from the bed

But drop it on the floor and I guarantee it’ll be dead.

The shower is a bit specie with its motorised screen

When you’ve finished put it down, cause it’s easier to clean!

When you’re done with the dishes just leave them to me

If you half do them, next guest will score me a 3.

Make yourself at home but please keep in mind

It’s my house you renting so please be kind.

Don’t damage the walls or piss in the bed

Keep your makeup for tissues or on your head.

I love having guests, you're all lovely folk

But time will come when you will send me broke.

I don’t want to walk in and exclaim….by golly!

So please, leave as you find, and don’t be a 'wally'!

Happy Christmas Laura.

Cheers.......Rob