Guest Rule Violation

[Crystal366]

Hello Everyone,

This is a continuation of a post I put in a different forum.  I hadn't found the hosting forum yet.  Thank you @Sarah977. 

Here is the original message:

Hi All,

I'm fairly new at this Airbnb stuff and have found some great tips in this community. I had a guest instant book with me with the message, "Hosting a sleepover for my 14 year old son and we will checkin at 2pm. " I don't allow parties in my rules so I asked right away if she was hosting here or escaping the noise. She said she was escaping the noise, but dad would be "there" and she would be "home with infant."

Well...I thought it sounded strange but she didn't say she was hosting at my place. Day of check-in: Party seems to be at my house, as I noticed from the pizza guy knocking on my door with 2 large pizzas. I don't think mom and infant will consume all of that. No car in driveway and then...a poor, lost, young man walks into my living room. Which is shocking because my door is rarely unlocked. I took that as my perfect opportunity to ask if he was here for the party and directed him to the right unit, lol.

He was embarrassed, I felt badly for him. I was rather miffed, but re-read the messages between the guest and I. Then I caught where she was skirting around my direct question about where the party was going to be. I usually catch that in person but so far have never had a guest do it so I let my guard down I guess. She was cryptic about where to host in her first message, snaking around the direct question, but I didn't catch it.

I sent her a polite email that there was an issue with my house rules, I don't allow parties, I asked about party location to avoid misunderstanding, extra charge for excessive cleaning and property damage. Then I told I didn't want to interrupt, I'm sure they plan on leaving my home tidy and I appreciate that so I can continue to offer low prices. Mom responding with "oh, no" I'll text them and tell them to be quiet. Dad had to work late, I had to run an errand for another child, etc. Well heckfire! I thought she was there or the father with the way she wrote her prior response "dad will be there, I will be home."

I would like to hear some input on how other hosts might handle this situation. Now it seems I might actually have 3 fourteen-year-olds as guests with no adults. It would have taken me a whole lotta smooth talkin' to ok that one with knowledge up front. Of course, I don't really have any way of knowing what the real plan is unless I bang on doors and sit in my window waiting for cars with a bowl of popcorn all night, lol.

This part is for you @Kelly149 :

Check-Out Easter Sunday:  The kids were quiet.  There were adults there for a total of 40 minutes over the 2 days.  Mom came the last day to clean up.  She did clean up very well, even had a load of laundry going.  I ask guests to send a message when they have left so I can clean.  Mom did message me what cleaning that they had done and they were out, "thanks."  No attempt to ever fix the fact that they were violating my rules, no attempt to ever have an adult there, just explanations (after getting caught) that they were good boys, not partiers, dad was on his way to chaperone (not true), and then "thanks" at check-out.

I was pleased to see the home left so nice.  I sent her a message saying the cleaning was greatly appreciated, next time just let me know up front what the plans are and I can keep an eye on things also.  I have 5 kids, have let my oldest have sleepovers there since him and his friends are so responsible.  I understand a small group of fine young gentlemen.  Thank you and Happy Easter to you and your family.  No response.  I realize it is Easter, but with all the liberties, lies, and no intent to change course, I doubt I will receive one.

Ideas on how to leave a polite review that might blip on the issue to warn other hosts?  She had a few other good reviews so I took a chance even though my alarms bells were going off. 

Thank you and Happy Easter!

Crystal

[Tommy150]

Why are you so concerned about leaving a "polite review."

This person lied, repeatedly. Broke your rules. Broke airbnbs rules. (No parties and you can't do 3rd party bookings. Since she wasn't on site any nights, it was a 3rd party booking.)

You need to just be honest.

"Guest booked unit for teenage birthday party. Was dishonest about this and it was also found no adults were on site do the majority of the booking. Guest did do a good job of cleaning up and left everything tidy, but I did not appreciate being lied to or having my house rules broken"

[Tommy150]

And next time...trust your gut. ALWAYS trust your gut. 

[Sarah977]

@Crystal366   I don't quite understand why you sent her such a nice private message. She skirted around your questions about where this 2 day sleepover was going to take place and then outright lied to you about the adults being present. Just because she cleaned up well doesn't make any of that okay. 

If anything bad had happened, you would have been held legally responsible for allowing 4 unsupervised 14 year olds to stay in your rental. 

I used to let my teenagers have parties at our home because they were responsible kids and I knew their friends. And I was present, even though I would make myself scarce up in my room.

That is completely different from complete strangers installing their kids in your rental with no adult supervision.

Reviews need to be honest. I can imagine very few hosts wanting this person, or her family as guests. Liars don't belong on Airbnb, either as hosts or guests.

Lying to you certainly wasn't polite, I don't understand why you would feel the need to be polite to her.

My review would be " This guest misrepresented her intentions, using my home as a two night sleepover party venue for four unsupervised 14 year olds. When I inquired as to whether she and her husband were going to be there, she indicated that one or the other would be, when in fact there was a total of 40 minutes over 2 days when there was an adult present.

Guest did come to clean the place before check-out very thoroughly, which was appreciated, and no damages were found- the kids were respectful, but she would not be welcome to book with me again due to the deception."

[Crystal366]

Reviews do need to be honest.  Which is why I was asking for how to word it politely.  Just because someone else lowered their standards does not mean I need to follow the same course of action.

I don't like it.  I do want other hosts to know that their was a rule violation without sounding like a super angry, witch.  Because I can do that waayyy too easy!!  

Thank you all for the advice.

[Alexandra316]

@Crystal366 I would say:

Although communication with X seemed good and the space was left clean and tidy, they misrepresented their reason for booking and left three young teenagers alone in our listing for two nights. This is against Airbnb's rules against third-party bookings and renting to guests under the age of 18, and opened us to possible liability issues. For this reason, I would not rent my space to X again.

Honestly due to the liability issues, I would have shut this down when I figured out what was going on. If there had been an accident, allergic reaction or other medical emergency, drug use, drinking, a fire, etc. it could end up in a world of hurt for you. 

[Kelly149]

@Crystal366 strangely enough, I had a similar situation this weekend... we usually have a 2 night minimum, but I had a saturday arrival coming in so I set up friday night to allow a 1 night stay. 

We have a $175 cleaning fee and the room rate was $175, my payout was about $340 and all told the guest paid just under $500... it's more than I would pay for a one night stay but the place is cute, has great reviews and the guest's booking message said "romantic bday getaway without the kids". Ok, fine, I have a bunch of kids myself, I get it. We have a very detailed contract, the listing is in our backyard, we'll be home for the weekend, no worries.

Friday afternoon, the space is ready, guest arrives, says "this place is great, there'll be another car, here's its info xxxxx"

and then we start seeing the groups of 4 & 5 folks arriving on the security cameras. The party balloons said "17".

Short version, when we knock on the door at 6, there are 20 16 -18YOs in the space with cases of booze and no adult in sight, with a new group walking up the hill from where they left their car down away from our listing. They were all told to turn around, pack it up and go home, door code changed, and that was the end of their stay. When mom texted later "sorry, about the late change of plans, we'll get a refund bc we were only there for an hour, right?" The answer back was absolutely not, and don't you ever send an underage party to a host's home.

So, planning a review is one thing, but also protecting yourself in the moment is important too.

[Emilia42]

@Kelly149 What the heck?! Do you think this profile belonged to a group of teenagers who blatantly lied about the "romantic getaway?" Or real parents who let their kids take over the $500 reservation because they had other plans? 

[Kelly149]

@Emilia42 it was definitely mom... who knows if she intended to come to my space while the teenagers partied at her house or if the party at my house was the plan all along, but she definitely booked it (and sent me her DL & passport with her rental contract). But who in their right mind reads my listing and thinks they're going to get away with a house party?!?

[Crystal366]

@Kelly149  wow!! Good for you with getting them out!! Similar situations, but in my case I have a duplex and live in one side.  Another case of "how many times did you bump your head, mom?"  I was pretty much watched the entire time.  I found it odd that there was such minimal parental check-ins.  There really were no vehicles coming in and out, no noise, etc.  I was waiting for it so I could eject them promptly.  

This is my second odd guest this year.  Last year my oddest guest didn't come close to what I have now.  I wonder if everyone has been cooped up to long and doesn't remember how to be polite and respectful.  I'm just going to assume thats the case and adjust how I operate my rental until I'm proven otherwise. 

[Emilia42]

@Crystal366 

I am going to go against the pack here. It seems like, to me,  the only rule being broken is Airbnb's third-party rule - which this guest may not even be aware of. I would take this guest's booking message for exactly what it is in which the purpose of the stay is to "Host a sleepover for my 14-year-old son." This would lead me to start asking questions like How many kids are we talking? Who is staying with the kids? Did the guest lie about the guest count? I wouldn't call 3 young kids "a party." Especially if they were quiet. What is the difference between a 3 kid birthday sleepover and 3 teenagers traveling with a dad for a hockey tournament? It is shady that there was no adult present overnight but if that made you comfortable you should have ended the stay and asked the parents to come to pick up the kids asap. The fact that the mom came over to clean up (and cleaned up so well) tells me that she wasn't planning to screw you over.

Still, you should review honestly and with facts. I would stay something like:

"XX booked this stay for a son's birthday party. Unfortunately, there was some miscommunication, and XX herself was not present during the stay nor were the kids supervised. I was happy to discover that the space was tidied and cleaned before checkout."

[Crystal366]

@Emilia42  the mom did know I didn't allow parties.  I did ask questions immediately.  Mom did use wording to make it sound like she would be "escaping the noise" but dad would be at the slumber party, presumably at their home.

When I found out it was at my house I gave mom the benefit of the doubt and reached out.  The mom gave me a bunch of excuses as to why there was no adult yet.  Close to midnight an adult came for 20 minutes.  The next day was the same thing.  She did know she was wrong, lied every step of the way, and made no effort to change her course of action.  I would be correcting the error of my ways instead of staying the course. 

So, I'm with you a bit.  It wasn't a party.  It was boys playing games.  But...mom needs to be honest (at any point I ever asked her) with her hosts.  My place is la arge duplex, I live in half.  She knew I was watching.  Future hosts do need to be aware that this guest takes liberties. 

Its like the "nice and clean, airbnb 3rd party booking/host rule violation, better suited for hotel, probably will communicate better in the future" review is probably needed here.  

[Christine615]

A couple of things. That woman put you in a hugely problematic position in terms of liability. Hotels don't allow unaccompanied minors for good reason. What she did isn't legal and if anything happened to those kids you would responsible financially and criminally (along with the parents.) Think "house burned down with 3 minors allowed to rent unsupervised by local Airbnb host"

No m'am. You need to understand you are in business to host adults, not do favors for them and babysit.

I think it's great she cleaned up. But she clearly knew she was violating the rules. So be honest. Guest rented the home to host a sleepover for 14-year olds. We did not realize until too late that no adult stayed on-site to supervise after the arrival. Guest did return at check-out and left the home in extremely good condition including doing laundry. The kids were quiet. But I would not be comfortable hosting again under the circumstances.

[Crystal366]

@Christine615, yes.  I'm fully aware of the liabilities.  Not cool.  I never had any intention of not being honest in the review. Just pointing that out because there seems to be a lot people thinking I was going to omit that. Nope. 

I just wanted to balance the good and the bad, like your suggestion.  I like it!!

[Christine615]

It’s such a hard balance. I sometimes write about guests who ate great to communicate with but violate house rules. They are never pleased but ever since Airbnb got a “party house” reputation it has people thinking they can do things with us they can’t do at a hotel? 

I think Airbnb has to do a better job of vetting and training guests on what is expected of them. And the bots screening our private messages should have caught “24-year old” and “sleepover “ and made the guest ineligible.

Sounds like you’ve got a good plan.