Hesitant to leave a bad review for guest

[Scott57]

Recently had a guest who was using Airbnb for the first time. I hate to leave bad reviews for guests, especially if it's their only review, but I feel I should for this one.  FYI - My listing is a separate studio in the front half of the second floor of my house with its own entrance, but has a shared wall with our side of the second floor. It has its own kitchen, bathroom and sun room. Here are the things that bothered me:

1. She thought she was doing me a favor by taking all the open or expired food from the freezer in the Airbnb and trashing it. She informed me after she did it. When I found out (too late to salvage any of it) and mentioned that it was not appropriate, she apologized. 
2. When she booked, she mentioned that it was just going to be her and her adult daughter, but they arrived with a 2-year old with them as well. It would not have changed the price and a third person was allowed. It just irked me that it felt like they were hiding it. The 2-year old was very noisy one night past midnight, running around and hitting the walls. 
3. I provide instructions which state that guests do not have to strip the bed, take out the garbage or do the laundry. All we ask is that you do not leave dirty dishes in the sink. Well, she left some dirty dishes in the sink.
4. She put the metal sink guard into the oven to use as a rack of some sort. The only problem is that the sink guard had plastic feet which melted in the oven. FYI - there were several baking trays available. 
5. When I was taking out her bags of garbage after she left, I noticed one of my coffee mugs was in one of the garbage bags, broken. Accidents happen, but I would have liked for her to tell me.
6. Lastly, she took it upon herself to rearrange furniture in my Airbnb. She moved two benches and a storage ottoman. I don't mind if you move furniture around - just move it back before you leave.

After she left, she sent me a note apologizing for the mess. Her excuse was that her daughter was too busy taking care of her 2 year old to do a better job cleaning before they left. 

Should I leave a bad review and mention the above or should I mention the details privately to her in order to educate her as to how Airbnb works? and leave her a neutral review or a slightly bad review? I just know that if she gets a bad review as her only review, she probably will not be able to book again on Airbnb.

[Anonymous]

@Scott57   You're a very experienced host so I'm sure you already know this, but reviews don't have to be classified as "bad" or "good." An honest account of your experience would account for both the positive and negative aspects of the guest's stay. But based on the granular details you've shared here, it sounds like this guest made some effort to be considerate but wasn't altogether successful. You can get that across in a review without totally dissing her.

The relevant details to future hosts are:

1) Guest booked as 2 adults but brought an additional child without informing the host

2) Rules concerning kitchen care weren't fully followed and there was some minor unreported damage.

[Scott57]

@Anonymous - thanks for your reply. I agree with your feedback and love your wording. I guess I've been lucky by having so many problem-free guests that this one hit me a little hard. I did want to note that most of the expired food were single-serve Trader Joe's dinners. We provide them for guests who arrive late after all the restaurants are closed and they need some emergency food. The opened packages were mainly things like a six-pack of frozen Garden burgers. We do a decent job of cleaning out expired items from the refrigerated part (e.g., creamer, eggs, coffee, butter), but could do a better job of policing the freezer. However, if I were a guest, I would NEVER assume that it was okay to throw a bunch of frozen food out. Instead, I would leave a note to the host who could then choose to throw it out or use it themselves. After all, my immigrant Irish mother always told me that expiration dates on frozen food are "suggestions." : )

[Gordon0]

I'd agree with @Anonymous's summary. It sounds more like a clumsy stay than a malicious one. On a side note, I'm not sure I'd be happy with out-of-date/open food in an entire listing and may well have assumed it was a case of poor cleaning out after the previous guest myself, @Scott57.

[Colleen253]

@Scott57 Agree with Andrew. Reframe the way you look at reviews. It’s helpful to turn it around and wonder “If another host was sending me this guest, what would I appreciate knowing about them?”

Also agree with Gordon re the food. Unacceptable, especially during a pandemic. 

[Kristi113]

I agree with these gentlemen above @Gordon0  & @Anonymous  that I think this is a case of being pre occupied with the youngest guest ( 2 year old )  that a few things happened during the stay that were not intentional. I would send private feedback and clarify your listing outlining that you want to be notified if additional last minute guests are added without your prior knowledge. As far as keeping food in your freezer I would also notate that on your listing if it is something you intend to do on a regular basis or else guests may continue to think it was overlooked by cleaners and discard it. Good luck on your future rentals @Scott57 !

[Scott57]

Thanks for your response. We actually do mention it in the instructions that guests should feel free to use anything in the kitchen, including items in the freezer. It's tough, though, having to throw out so much food that guests leave behind in the refrigerator. Yes, I compost most of it (it is Portland after all), but I still feel guilty so maybe I am not as thorough as I should be. I guess I just need to adapt and be more thorough. 

[Brian2036]

@Scott57 

I really hope you mention the “uninvited guest.”

If they brought a 2-yr old to my place I would throw them all out immediately.

There are serious insurance and liability issues and anyone who assumes that it’s OK to bring extra people into someone else’s home is incredibly presumptuous and probably rather stupid.

 I would like to avoid stupidity.

[Anonymous]

@Brian2036   Presumptuous, sure, but it's a common enough misperception to warrant some mention in your House Rules that no unregistered guests/visitors (of any age) are permitted in the home. Especially if your rules are detailed enough to forbid adults with behavioral problems 😉

[Brian2036]

@Anonymous 

Thanks. I added in a couple of places:

CHILDREN ARE NOT ALLOWED AT ANY TIME, either as guests or as visitors, due to insurance regulations.

[Anonymous]

@Brian2036   You might have to change the wording to avoid falling afoul of the Nondiscrimination Policy : 

• Airbnb hosts may not:
  • Impose any different terms or conditions or decline a reservation based on the guest’s age or familial status, where prohibited by law.

• Airbnb hosts may:
  • Provide factually accurate information about their listing’s features (or lack of them) that could make the listing unsafe or unsuitable for guests of a certain age or families with children or infants.
  • Note in their listings applicable community restrictions (e.g., senior housing), regulations, or laws that prohibit guests under a particular age or families with children or infants.

[Scott57]

@Brian2036 - Thanks for your feedback. I actually would not have had a problem with a third guest (the two-year old) if they would have let me know ahead of time. I don't charge extra for a third guest and we frequently have guests who bring small children. I was more upset that they chose not to mention it to me. Perhaps they thought I would not accept their initial request if I knew it involved a two-year old??

[Brian2036]

@Anonymous 

“where prohibited by law” is the salient point here.

Prohibiting children may be unlawful in case of long-term leases but we don’t do that. Nor do we intend to do so.

Discrimination against adults over 65 might be a problem in some cases, but during the COVID-19 situation I found that I was barred from some restaurants that were refusing service to anyone over 65.

Apparently that was legal, even if ridiculous and unwarranted, and I wasn’t about to try to challenge it.

If someone wants to try to sue me for refusing to allow people who are not covered by my insurance they are welcome to try.

[Marg11]

We had a guest who asked for a cot when they hadn't booked a child but admitted they didn't think children counted! Kids add to cleaning, use hot water and need linen. Our house rules have been tightened over and over again to cover everything.

We do not accept under 2s as we have a frog pond, lots of plants and climbable trees which could cause problems but guests are advised in writing to supervise children at all times.

We also ask guests not to throw out containers as we refill them from bulk purchases like shampoo, conditioner, dishwashing detergent, hand wash and sanitiser, flour, cooking oil and condiments.

You need to write a review that will help the guest and their next hosts.

[Alexandra1570]

I’m also struggling with reviews. I’ve hosted over 70 people over the last couple of years and never left a poor review. I share my space with guests so I tend to expect a degree of common courtesy and cleanliness but am pretty easy going apart from that.

My last couple of guests were polite, not too noisy but in my book, pretty dirty. They left makeup stains on the walls, stained bedding, bathroom was permanently covered in hair and dirt.  Every day I had to clean the kitchen and bathroom after them before I could use it. I was also a tad irritated that they took 90 minutes each morning in the shared bathroom (no exaggeration).

I appreciate I may be a tad **bleep** about cleanliness but I’d never leave someone else’s place that way! Appreciate some perspective!