@Mai2032 The host can ask you for more money for over-the-top cleaning time, but if you truly feel you cleaned up adequately, you can offer less or stick to saying you didn't leave the mess she claims you did.
Of course a beach front property is going to get sandy, but it would be a nice gesture to sweep the sand out before leaving. Are you saying there wasn't even a broom in evidence? If not, you could have messaged the host to say you want to sweep up but can't find a broom. Then she would have either told you where one was, or told you not to bother, right? And while hosts don't expect guests to deep clean, cleaning out the oven after you've baked fish in it twice would have been appropriate. If I knew that I had created a dirty oven, and left sand all over, and lots of dog fur, I certainly would have contacted the host to ask about cleaning supplies if I couldn't find any. I wouldn't just walk away and leave it like that.
You say dogs were allowed, but was there also a pet fee you paid? If not, then you should offer something for added cleaning time. Some dogs shed very little and some shed a lot. My dog is a heavy shedder and I wouldn't dream of not trying to deal with the bulk of the dog fur before leaving a place, that's where asking for a broom would have been useful.
As to the review. If you have written a honest review, based on your experience both with the place and with the host before and during your stay, there should never be any reason to regret it. This isn't junior high school, where you say you think someone is pretty this week, and then when they say or do something next week you don't like, you then change your tune and tell everyone you think she's ugly.
As a host, if I have a guest who communicates well, is pleasant during the stay, and leaves the place clean and tidy, and I leave her a good review, just because she may send me some rude message the following week, or leave some complaints in her review, that's no reason for me to rescind or regret my review of her. Because it was my honest experience of her when I wrote it.
Airbnb reviews aren't reviews of who someone is, they are reviews of host/guest experiences up to and during a stay. Nothing more. And if a host or guest gets an unexpected bad review, that's what the response option is for.
You say your friend has good reviews, one bad review won't ruin his/her life nor prevent you from ever being accepted again,. And I assume your response gave your side of things, so it's your word against theirs. (Too bad you didn't post under the profile in question- if you do that, other posters can read the reviews and responses and better advise you)
As a host, if I had a booking request from a guest with a bunch of good reviews and one bad one, the first thing I'd do is look at the host's profile to see if they have a history of giving bad reviews to their guests to see if it was a pattern. If it was, I'd discount the review. If not, I'd just ask the guest if they could tell me a bit about that stay. And then I'd make what I expected guests to do before leaving really clear so everything went smooth.
I read one post by a host who accepted a guest who had a horrible review, and when he arrived, she just said "Whatever you did at that place in Italy where you got the bad review, just don't do that here" 🙂 The guest laughed, said okay, and turned out to be a fine guest.