I discovered She is an Alcoholic and not stable

[Talitha0]

Greetings

I haven't reached out to you for some time.  My problem is:  I have a 63 yr old woman who just checked in 8 days ago for a month long stay. The last three days she was unstable in her walking, and very sleepy.  She has also become very messy and unaware of how she is leaving things.  Today I insisted on helping her down a few steps feeling a liability risk.  She wanted to wait for Uber to take her to the store.  After a half hour a stranger knocks on the door to tell me someone needs help.  There she was hanging over my retaining wall passed out by the road.  I walked her carefully back into the house to her living room.  She disclosed she is an alcoholic and takes anti anxiety meds for manic.  I saw her bottle of wine on the floor and some still in a glass so asked her if she wanted to give it to me...  and she did.  Then I got her some food  and promised her when I got back from my appointment we could talk more.  She welcomed that.

Three hours later when I returned she did not look any better.   I had to tell her she would not be able to bring alcohol on my property again or I would need her to leave.  She got a bit alarmed at the restriction.  She said she understands my concerns for her safety are real. 

I was very kind to her and let her know that I can not enable her to harm herself.

I ended the talk asking her if she had any more alcohol she wanted to give me.  She said " well now that we're clear after today" ... I said no, starting now... so she muttered that sometimes she has some by her bed and went to look but brought nothing back. 

She is scheduled to leave the 27th of September.  I doubt we will make it.

Tomorrow I plan to have her sign a statement that she understands the reasons listed why she cannot have alcohol here. At least I will have something to show her if she makes a poor choice.  I will add to it that she can only get a partial refund.

what then...

Q - am I allowed to tell her no alcohol since it was not listed previously in my profile?

Q- If she brings alcohol into the house again am I obligated to give her the remainder of her money back ? 

  What do I do if she is unwilling to go ? 

Thanks for your help

TalithaO

[Anonymous]

@Talitha0  I don't think you're in any position as a host to regulate what your guest consumes. You're not running a rehab clinic.

If the guest's behavior is unstable, unsafe, or unacceptable to you, it doesn't really matter what the underlying cause is - the fact is, this person is not an appropriate fit for your home and treating her mental health is beyond your pay grade. 

If you believe you can host this person without intervening in her personal life choices, then there's no action you need to take. Otherwise, the right thing to do would be to terminate the booking and refund the unused portion of her stay. Airbnb will not back you up if you try to set some kind of heavy-handed rules or  conditions that were not disclosed in the listing.

[Talitha0]

Exactly Andrew,

this was an unacceptable safety issue, never a moral issue.  She blacked out in the road for 30 min and doesn't remember I picked her up and helped her back inside.... and twice before she forgot she had food cooking in the kitchen. 

Today I contacted her last two local Airbnb's   ... WE do not recommend this guest for the same reasons.

 I treated her with compassion and kindness and she understands that safety is the issue.  She has relocated to a hotel for a few nights to probably look for another Airbnb.   I am sad for her.

[Linda108]

@Talitha0   While dealing with alcoholics is within "my pay grade" to use @Anonymous  words, even I, as a professional psychotherapist specializing is substance abuse, would not engage this guest's alcohol use, but would insist on behavior that is appropriate to a shared home listing.  So if the guest spent the next 3 weeks in an alcoholic haze in her room, I would not act, but if she stumbled around my home or passed out in the yard, I would cancel the booking and refund all unused nights. I would think many lay people would think that sounds cold.  BTW, withdrawal of alcohol from someone who has been drinking heavily for a long time can cause very serious withdrawal problems.  That is why there are detox units in hospitals.

[Talitha0]

I don't think its cold.  yep detox is very difficult to endure... I never expected her to stop drinking.  All my conversations emphasized the serious safety issues.  She is a sweet lady and I am sad for her.... She has moved into a hotel. 

Thanks for responding. 

[Sarah977]

Anti-anxiety meds and alcohol are a scary combo. Wonder if her doctor knows she drinks when he prescribed the meds?  I agree that this is not something a host should be dealing with. Not to mention coming in such close contact with a guest who's obviously too out-of-it to be observing any COVID precautions.

[Talitha0]

Hi Sarah,

Thanks for the response.  Yes scary combo.

She has moved into a hotel now and does understand all my safety concerns .  I am sad for her.

I love Sayulita by the way.