Something's missing: WWYD?

[Anonymous]

As a guest, I recently had an experience that left a sour taste despite the stay itself being perfectly nice. Let it be said that the host was not a master of communication - I got no response from a post-booking message asking for check-in instructions, but when we turned up at the property at the listed check-in time his assistant was there to give us a proper (though unmasked/undistanced) tour. There were no follow-up messages, which was totally fine with me because our needs were all accounted for. And anyway, given that there was no internet access, I wouldn't have received any correspondence from Airbnb messenger anyway.

A few hours after checking ourselves out and leaving, I received just one sentence from the host:  "Where's the grey blanket?"  A bit abrupt, but hey, it's Germany. I explained in detail how we'd left our used towels and linens to separate them from the unused ones, and assured him that we didn't take any house items out of the property. He followed up with a more accusatory message insisting that the blanket was missing. The item in question had been a topping for one of those modular sofa-beds that tends to swallow things when it's pulled out. After a bit of back-and-forth I suggested that he check the crevices of his sofa. No response. It's a pretty small and sparse space, so I presume that the host eventually found his blanket in a sofa crack but was too embarrassed to say so.

For some perspective, we're talking about one of those thin synthetic fleeces they sell for €2 at Ikea. The host might be frustrated because they keep getting lost or damaged by guests misusing them as beach blankets. It wasn't unreasonable for him to ask. It also made sense that he reached out before having enough time to do a thorough search, because there might have been a chance I was still in town and able to return something I'd mistakenly packed. And I'd rather clear it up in messaging than get a surprisingly bad review. But still, from a hospitality perspective I was struck by how the entirety of the way this person represented himself to a guest was through hot pursuit of a bit of polyester. It's a minor issue that I won't downrate the host over, but it definitely ended any consideration I'd had of re-booking the place later in the autumn or recommending it to friends. It's hard to feel at ease in a home knowing the host believes you're out to fleece them for their fleeces.

This got me thinking about the delicate etiquette of approaching missing items in general. Hosts, when you can't find something during changeover, how do you communicate with guests about it?  Is there a minimum that the item would have to be worth in order to say anything at all, or would you still ask about the washcloth or wine glass out of principle? If the results are inconclusive, do you mention it in the review?

[Laura2592]

@Anonymous  great question.

I normally don't ask unless its a high value item or something that you really notice is gone as its part of the decor. 98% of the time I find what I am looking for in some odd place while doing turnover. If I didn't and it was something I  cared about, I apprpached the guest as follows "Hi there-- we hope you enjoyed your stay! I was doing some inventory between guests and I just can't get my eye on one of the bedside lamps downstairs--little white lamp. I know its probably hiding somewhere. Any chance you might remember where you last saw it? Thanks!"

The guests in this case 'fessed up that they broke it and forgot to mention. No biggie. $30 request later I have a new lamp. But for the rest of the little things that go missing, I just replace them. I might make a note if the guest returns to be extra diligent about my item counts in the event that they leave with more goodies. Mostly guests forget things as much as they take things with them.

[Emiel1]

@Anonymous 

We could make a list of items, generally missing at first sight, but then you experienced they showed up somewhere else.

Blankets and plaids:

- Swallowed by a sofa bed (in my case:  a folding bed)

- In the garden, used as picknick plaid

- underneath the bed

Cutlery (spoons, forks)

- In the garbage can inside

- In the garbage can outside

- underneath furniture

Small furniture etc

- In another room

- Outside, used for picnic

- processed to small pieces, in the garbage can

Crockery:

- Everywhere (see above), including coffee mugs in the toilet ( enjoy your drink...)

Extra Shampoo, bathsoap

- Found, but all empty / used

[Lawrene0]

I'm like @Laura2592 with missing things, @Anonymous . First I look everywhere for the thing. It's usually stuffed between the mattress and the wall, wrapped up in the hammock, and the one that makes me shake my head at myself -- on a different wall hook. I cannot believe how blind I am to things that are right in front of me but on the "wrong" hook!

Anyway, if it is small, no big deal. I have extra spoons and flashlights. But that time I bought a set of four enameled "Canada 150" mugs for the treehouse, and after the first guest to enjoy them there was one empty cup hook, I wrote, "I've looked everywhere for one of those Canada 150 mugs. Do you remember where you last saw it? Should I keep combing the riverbank? Thanks for any help!"

A sort of confession arrived a few days later. The American guest had accidentally packed it thinking it was their own.

I had no idea the cupboards of Americans held so many Canadian mugs!  ; )

They wanted to know if I wanted money, and I said no,  just to bring me a mug from their state next time they come. I'm not holding my breath, of course.

I think the "I've looked everywhere" message gives the host a chance for an apology and thank-you if the thing hasn't been stolen, and gets the point across if it has. But "Where's the grey blanket?" saves time I suppose. "Sorry to have bothered you about that" would not have taken much more time...

[Anonymous]

@Lawrene0  Who travels with a coffee mug, anyway? 🙂

It's happened a couple of times that guests have forgotten to leave their keys behind. Once, I contacted a guest a bit too hastily after thinking I'd checked every logical surface for the house keys. It turned out that she'd just left them in the keyhole of the guestroom door, which nobody had ever done before.

[Helen350]

@Anonymous My worst ever guest (American) travelled with an extra large coffee mug! He left it behind whilst huffing & puffing & getting himself re-located! I use it every day! 

Many's the time I've mentally composed the "Could you possibly have accidentally packed one of my towels?/ Can you remember where you left the blue towel; I can't find it" message, only to find it before I put finger to keyboard!

- Only ONCE have I messaged a guest to say "Could you have accidentally taken the key?", and the guest replied it was "up there on the shelf", next to the "up there on the hook", which I'd assumed I'd gesticulated at! It was VERY important for me to word my enquiry in a way that I might have missed the presence of the (not actually) missing item... And Yes, I sent him a little note of apology for not finding where he'd left it (even tho' it wasn't where I THOUGHT I'd indicated...)

[Ann72]

@Anonymous  Your wit really made this story move along, as usual...but you didn't ask me for a book review.

As I host remotely I don't always know if things walk away.  I arrived last night at my house in Maine and thought a cashmere throw had gone missing but my housekeeper quickly set me straight.   As seen from the responses above, often enough it's host error so I think one needs to be chary about making a direct accusation.  Asking where the guest thinks the item might be as @Lawrene0 did is really effective.

I do think the host should be marked down at least one star for communication.  I don't think 5-star communication is solely about whether your needs were met or not.  In this case it was the way he communicated that left a bad taste in your mouth, not the item about which he communicated.

[Anonymous]

@Ann72  Thank you! I agree, this is definitely not quite 5-star communication. To the fellow's credit, he had the good sense to have an excellent communicator do the meet n' greet, but perhaps I should give some feedback conveying that the whole experience can still be tinged by the correspondence that happens after.

[Emilia42]

For me, this is not about the missing item. It is about the host's communication and it would totally put a bad taste in my mouth. It seems that from the moment you booked this stay you received nothing from the host to indicate that he is a hospitable, friendly, professional person. I think if the roles had been reserved and a guest sent an abrupt message: "Where's the key" without any previous communication or attempt to solve the problem on their own (because they likely already have the answer) we would not be thinking of this guest as a great one. Communication is everything and this host is clearly lacking. He would not be getting a great review from me. 

[Mark116]

@Anonymous  Your host lacks some diplomatic skill, LOL.  If ever something is missing/misplaced I usually send a message like 'we started cleaning and can't seem to find XX, and were wondering if you might have put it in a different spot'...  The only time something appears to have been stolen was the crazy guests whose unauthorized visitor relieved himself on the house, and in that case, I figured a $40 throw from Target was not by any means worth ever communicating with the guest again.

[Huma0]

@Anonymous  if it's a (cheap) wine glass or a washcloth, no, I probably wouldn't bother mentioning it, but in general, I would ask about items (expensive or not) if I really couldn't seem to find them. E.g. my guests often used to accidentally take the travel adaptor plugs until I started putting stickers on them. Since then, only one guest took one and I did message him about it. He apologised and ordered one for me. Luckily, I haven't had anything else taken. I did ask another guest about a missing hand towel once because it was part of a set and I wouldn't be able to purchase the same one again. I ended up finding it stuffed in between the mattress and headboard.

I do think we have a right to ask (after having a good search) as stuff shouldn't keep walking away from our listings, even if it's small, inexpensive items. Neither guest above seemed to mind as I asked politely.

I think it's fine if you ask in a casual, friendly and non-accusatory way, e.g. "Do you remember where you might have put X?" or "I don't suppose you might have packed Y by accident?" Not "Where's the blanket?" Sorry, that's just a bit rude and your host definitely doesn't deserve a good communication rating.

[Debra300]

@Anonymous,

I've had only one instance where a guest purposely removed something from our apartment, the Roku stick USB cable that was taken from behind the TV.  The guest had to put some effort into taking it, and should have known that the cable wasn't his when he packed, because he didn't have it when he arrived.  It would not have been a big deal if it didn't negate the functionality of a frequently used amenity.  I looked for it, but the space doesn't really  have any nooks or crannies for things for even small things to get stuck.  I inquired with the guest, and asked if he had any idea where the cable was located, but he didn't respond to my message.  I didn't seek any compensation, but did mention in my review of him that the cable was removed and couldn't be found.

@Lawrene0,

Is it possible that the guest picked up some Canada mugs as souvenirs, and thought that your commemorative mug was also one that she'd bought?

[Anna9170]

@Anonymous  I only had one question when two good bath towels were obviously stolen. But the question was, of course, correct and polite, "could you have accidentally mixed it up and added it to your Luggage". Also, of course, I am in touch with the guest immediately after booking, we write to each other, so in terms of communication it does not look strange.
Glasses, etc. I do not even consider damage, broken dishes are a certain cycle of life and expenses).
I used to use IKEA fleece blankets for 2 euros, but I would not even think of telling a guest about the loss of something for this price.

[Kelly149]

Gah!! Bad host. Agree with all the above

[Ann783]

I've stopped stocking items that go missing - Nintendo Wii video games etc. Biggest issue is with sheets. I have a theory that people have accidents or ruin them somehow… and instead of fessing up, they are throwing them out. It's annoying but I usually "eat" the expense.

As a guest, I too have received abrupt messages about missing items. Unfortunately, as a Black traveler, I'm used to this.  One Paris host messaged me about a telephone cord. One host greeted me by stressing that her child was worried we might take her toys - so it started off  bizarre. Apt was great but I wouldn't stay there again.